Man I love the Bean Sprout (one of my Granddaughters, in fact the one that has been trying to out maneuver me or maneuver me out of my HK USP), we were sitting over at Junior's place having a burger grill and all the grandchildren and nephews/neices and assorted hanger on's were all hitting the pool and drinking all the cola they could and stuffing chips down their throats.
Anyway a few of us were sitting around one of the patio tables when Lil's mom came over and plopped down at the same table as me. All of a sudden I got that feeling that Will Robinson was in danger and his robot sidekick was going to start screaming "Danger, Will Robinson!"
Then the surprises just kept coming she actually started to talk to me, and the Robot started waving his arms and repeating the warning as I thought to myself this does not compute. She wants something.
Sure enough after asking me a few general purpose questions, she got down to the point. Flooding in the PI. Oh how sad.
So since Lil was not around, and I looked for Junior, Bec or Sam or any female that had the authority to reign me in and found none to be in the near vicinity I basically told her no. Well maybe not like that, but I said no. Whatever it is you are trying to do, for whatever reason you are trying to do it the answer is now and always no.
She then pointed out that I had just spent an unreasonable amount of money on guns. Now I really can not do her justice as it came out sort of like it was some disgusting vice. You, you, you just spent X,XXX.00 of guuuuuns. People will be suffering from flood damage, someone will have to go to your house and clean it up. Yet here you sit without a care in the world. You should donate some money...
and right there I said not only no but Hades no! I wouldn't give you my last thin dime and then I was fixing to step off into it (cause Lil does not like it when I go off on her Mom, she says just let her ramble on, but well I hate someone who mooches off of me, eats food I pay for, sleeps in a house that I helped pay for, and then she craps all over me and worse Lil, Bec and Sam) when I heard a small female voice tell her.
Lola, he spent his allowance on firearms, Lola Lil says he can spend it on whatever he wants, so he did. Why are you giving him a hard time? Is it because Lola Lil sin't here? What do you think Lola Lil will say when she finds out? So please tell me what is the problem in that?
I looked over to see the Bean Sprout just returned from the pool.
I looked back at Lil's Mom and said...yea Looooowla or should I say impo or lola sa tuhod where's the problem in that? At least I didn't spend my allowance on something useless like makeup. Makeup to try and look younger, it is like putting makeup on a hog, no matter how much you spend or put on, it will always be a hog. Then the Bean Sprout had to go and poke the grizzly bear or in this case the wicked witch of the PI, by ignoring her and giving Mano to me followed up with a Mano Po to the others at the table. Everyone except the old bat.
Then I told the Bean Sprout lets go sneak some Key Lime Pie out of Junior's fridge and we left.
Bec told me I should not have called her a hog....I did not, well okay not like outright to her face as in you are a hog. Although I have called her an old bat in the past, but it is strange that while she was outraged, I say I'm outraged and beyond mad that your husband called me an old bat. I should leave and never come back. To which I yelled please do and I''ll pay your fare. Lil was not amused.
Funny how the old bat seems to spend a lot of her time her at this daughters house, instead of the other two daughter's homes. It could not possibly be that Lil, Bec and Sam all wait on her hand and foot, that she has her own room and a a bathroom she has to share, someone to drive her everywhere, clean up after her, cook her special food dishes and the list goes on.
Man if I could find a run down, disreputable Senior Living Facility someone in the bowels of central or south America I'd pay double. Although I am sure she would hang on just to spite me.
I told the Bean Sprout I'd take the hit for her, but she just laughed and said no, she did the crime, she would do the time. I talked to Bec, Sam and called Lil and talked to her and told them all it was all my fault and if anyone said or did anything to the Bean Sprout it would really, really get ugly at the next family dinner and not in a nice way at all.
Anyway I have a few more stories to tell but right not I have to kick some grandchildren's rear end....it's a sleep over night without the sleep. It's bad enough I had to hide all the permanent magic markers, never be the first one to fall asleep around here.
No one is safe.
“Complacency kills. Paranoia is the reason I’m still alive.” If we do happen to make contact, I expect nothing less than gratuitous violence from the lot of ya.