Closing down the shop.

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Blackdog
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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Blackdog » Tue Jul 07, 2015 1:45 pm

Try not to make this oh poor pitiful me tale but tumors got quite a bit larger, docs gave me some magic pills to decrease swelling in brain pan which keeps me from toppling over which is nice and new brew of chemo to restrict blood vessel growth in evil spiders. Maybe walking the earth is measured in weeks but the battle rages. Still aiming on bringing in some game later in the year but to be seen and aimed for.

Small problem is possible hospice care and the fact that I am not sure the chupa mutts will let a stranger handle me, to be worked.
I guess.

Did get to harvest some fish for the coming winter with great thanks for all the help getting it done from some great friends. The tribe must be fed don't you know.


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And figured since Im not flopping around like a drooling idiot might just as well go do something, time enough for laying around when I feel the angel's kiss. My brother who I haven't seen for a while came up to kick around for a few days which was nice.

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As always plenty to teach the wife about what needs twisted, poked prodded, sharpened , oiled and cleaned. But for what its worth she is no helpless damsel and can bring in some bacon herself.

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If you aint out there doing something I suggest doing so.
Last edited by Blackdog on Tue Jul 07, 2015 2:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by shrapnel » Tue Jul 07, 2015 1:56 pm

Welp, fuck. I hope everything goes smoothly. You'll be missed.
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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by the_alias » Tue Jul 07, 2015 3:10 pm

You remain in my thoughts my friend.
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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by CarolinaPeach » Tue Jul 07, 2015 4:08 pm

Prayers for grace and peace for you and your loved ones.

Peach

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by raptor » Tue Jul 07, 2015 5:05 pm

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Boondock » Tue Jul 07, 2015 7:05 pm

Blackdog wrote:If you aint out there doing something I suggest doing so.
And on that note, I think we'll be doing a little more camping this weekend.

Thanks for the post, Blackdog. Nice fish. I don't care what the doctors say, you're looking real good.

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Halfapint » Tue Jul 07, 2015 7:21 pm

I'll dedicate my hike tomorrow to you! Hang in there, and keep a positive attitude! It did wonders for my dad. Stay strong!
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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by CipherNameRaVeN » Wed Jul 15, 2015 8:56 am

Blackdog wrote:Kind of a strange day, my wife and my best friend are off making my funeral arraignments, still kicking but not winning that's for sure.
My friend, you are always on my mind! You have always been my inspiration! I have learned so much from you. I have learned practical things from you in the past. Lately, I have been learning from you about life! Your matter of fact outlook on things never seized to amaze me. I have always been your fanboy! My wife has never been on ZS, but has always known about you. Your foot print is larger than you know. And know this, whenever I am out and about in the woods or anywhere, I always think about things I've learned from Blackdog, and I am sure I am not the only one!
Democracy is two wolves and a sheep deciding what to eat for lunch.
Liberty is a well-armed sheep contesting the vote.


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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by ancient_serpent » Thu Jul 16, 2015 6:15 pm

All the best wishes to you and yours. I don't have the words, but wanted to say I hope I handle myself as well as you have when I face difficulty. You're in our thoughts.

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Armor76 » Fri Jul 17, 2015 12:09 am

Thank you for telling us so many of your stories. I'm not kidding when I say you've lead a truly amazing life. The places you've been and the things you've done! If I live to a hundred I'll be lucky to have half as many stories to tell.

Keep fighting, but if you have to go, I hope you go with a grin on your face. You truly lived life.

Thank you.
You are responsible for you.
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. Gloria Steinem
In most cases, people, even wicked people, are far more naive and simple-hearted than one generally assumes. And so are we.

Lots of good advice/philosophy here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUq6YotwOIo" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; It really starts at the 40 second mark.

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Cybrludite » Sat Jul 25, 2015 5:50 am

That well & truly sucks. Best wishes!
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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Asymetryczna » Mon Jul 27, 2015 9:12 pm

I skipped over this because I thought a store was being closed and was offering discounts. Then I did read it and then more of your previous posts. I love how you post pictures of being out, on the water and in the air with friends. Don't know if its coincidence but a few things you said leapt off the page at me. Poor, pitiful me are words sang by my girlfriend when I was a lad. My grandpa and I used to sing it in the cab of the truck when we went fishing. We'll sing together again one day. You remember her? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srpwqf2MWAw

The other I posted here:
Ha, kick in the balls.
`Blackdog


Laughter before, amidst and against pain is an attribute I have often witnessed in the people I have called friend. That sardonic humor, fighting spirit, whatever you want to call it always comes from the people that, when knocked down, stand right back up, literally or spiritually. I respect that. In the past decade I have lost quite a few friends and family to bullets, bombs, cancer, overdose and suicide. They are sorely missed.

I wish you many long hikes.

“Benedicto: May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. May your rivers flow without end, meandering through pastoral valleys tinkling with bells, past temples and castles and poets towers into a dark primeval forest where tigers belch and monkeys howl, through miasmal and mysterious swamps and down into a desert of red rock, blue mesas, domes and pinnacles and grottos of endless stone, and down again into a deep vast ancient unknown chasm where bars of sunlight blaze on profiled cliffs, where deer walk across the white sand beaches, where storms come and go as lightning clangs upon the high crags, where something strange and more beautiful and more full of wonder than your deepest dreams waits for you -- beyond that next turning of the canyon walls.” ~Edward Abbey
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
Henry David Thoreau

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by RoneKiln » Wed Aug 05, 2015 10:08 pm

Your tribe will be ok.

My prayers will be for them.
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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by artbellfan1 » Wed Aug 12, 2015 6:25 am

Blackdog wrote:Try not to make this oh poor pitiful me tale but tumors got quite a bit larger, docs gave me some magic pills to decrease swelling in brain pan which keeps me from toppling over which is nice and new brew of chemo to restrict blood vessel growth in evil spiders. Maybe walking the earth is measured in weeks but the battle rages. Still aiming on bringing in some game later in the year but to be seen and aimed for.

Small problem is possible hospice care and the fact that I am not sure the chupa mutts will let a stranger handle me, to be worked.
I guess.

Did get to harvest some fish for the coming winter with great thanks for all the help getting it done from some great friends. The tribe must be fed don't you know.
If you aint out there doing something I suggest doing so.
As someone with cancer I can relate. Keep fighting, your pretty wife is reason enough. Don't give up hope. You are in my prayers.

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Blackdog » Wed Aug 12, 2015 11:04 am

[quote="Asymetryczna"]I skipped over this because I thought a store was being closed and was offering discounts. Then I did read it and then more of your previous posts. I love how you post pictures of being out, on the water and in the air with friends. Don't know if its coincidence but a few things you said leapt off the page at me. Poor, pitiful me are words sang by my girlfriend when I was a lad. My grandpa and I used to sing it in the cab of the truck when we went fishing. We'll sing together again one day. You remember her? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srpwqf2MWAw



The Ronstadt song is exactly where that comes from, the tune has rattled around in my brain pan for years when things are kind of sucky. Still a pretty full load of LR tunes on my iPod, great voice.

I am not witty enough to come up with catchy phrases so steal I do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIhCZjJMsJc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvNdrDCEU3Y

As always thanks for all the well wishes.
Luck is stupid as a cow
and blind as a bat

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by dogbane » Wed Aug 12, 2015 11:59 am

Blackdog, I grew up with the Ronstadt version thanks to my dad, and I loved it, but then I discovered and got hooked on Zevon.

Mostly not here anymore.

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by azrancher » Wed Aug 12, 2015 12:01 pm

Blackdog wrote:The Ronstadt song is exactly where that comes from, the tune has rattled around in my brain pan for years when things are kind of sucky. Still a pretty full load of LR tunes on my iPod, great voice.
Linda was/is a great gal (has Parkinson's Disease), I remember my Dad told me he had to go downtown to her Daddy's hardware store to buy some dynamite to blow a hole for the septic tank... Try that now?

Rancher

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Blackdog » Wed Aug 12, 2015 12:19 pm

dogbane wrote:Blackdog, I grew up with the Ronstadt version thanks to my dad, and I loved it, but then I discovered and got hooked on Zevon.

Great version and a more gender appropriate to be rattling in the pan. Thanks.
Luck is stupid as a cow
and blind as a bat

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by dogbane » Wed Aug 12, 2015 12:22 pm

"Enjoy every sandwich." ~ Warren Zevon

Last edited by dogbane on Wed Aug 12, 2015 12:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Mostly not here anymore.

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Blackdog
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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Blackdog » Wed Aug 12, 2015 12:23 pm

azrancher wrote:
Blackdog wrote:The Ronstadt song is exactly where that comes from, the tune has rattled around in my brain pan for years when things are kind of sucky. Still a pretty full load of LR tunes on my iPod, great voice.
Linda was/is a great gal (has Parkinson's Disease), I remember my Dad told me he had to go downtown to her Daddy's hardware store to buy some dynamite to blow a hole for the septic tank... Try that now?

Rancher
Things do change, I remember being about 12 and walking into the hardware store with a rifle and buying a brick of .22. Don't know how that would pan out these days.

I knew she has Parkinson which leaves me a little sad.
Luck is stupid as a cow
and blind as a bat

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Asymetryczna » Wed Aug 12, 2015 12:51 pm

Thank you for the response Blackdog. You light a path for many.

The song came to me as clear as new glass when I read your post. I fell head over heels for her as a lad. Anyone that looks upon the "The Very Best of Linda Ronstadt" cover can see why. That is an image; it was her voice that captured so many hearts.

"I've been cheated.
Been mistreated..."


Thing is, even now when I am transporting my kids and their teammates to competitions I'll put on her music and after a moment they will get quiet before asking, "Wow, who is that singing?"
I suppose the fact that the Norfolk & Western tracks ran through our back fields added to the charm.

"Well I lay my head on the railroad tracks
Waitin' for the double E
But railroad don't run no more
Poor, poor pitiful me"


Linda Ronstadt is a timeless goddess.
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
Henry David Thoreau

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Blackdog » Wed Aug 26, 2015 12:29 pm

OK boys and girls, yesterday was the one year anniversary of my seizure and I have bucked the odds by walking the earth. Had a MRI and got it read yesterday, the finding was that the tumors have shrunk, this is nice, real nice but as the big smart heads tell me it will be back, glioblastoma doesn't take breaks but looks like some more time logged in the books.

I wrote this for post a while ago but guess it will be OK here on my anniversary. originally it was meant to be a bit snarky but I cleaned the snark out.





I guess I am a simple man, never wrote a book, made a million dollars or been queen of the rodeo but here are a few things I have learned some from deprivation and some not so much.

From the grumpy old men that earlier in their lives slogged across France, knew where the 38th Parallel was and later lead my Boy Scout Troop I learned how to take a oath, ride a horse, shoot a gun, cook a meal, and more importantly clean up after. My dad went wander when I was too young to even remember him much, I bless my mother for linking me up with these guys.

From a totally un distinguished High school football career I learned that you don't have to be the Homecoming king to play the game and if you get nocked down get back up, because some one is counting on you doing so.

From fighting thugs for money I learned to look a guy who wants to mount your head in his living room in the eye and control my fear. I also learned that if you get up after getting your bell rung you just might win.
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From Uncle Sam's training budget I learned to sleep on the ground, suck it up, play as a team, lead and be lead, being cold wet and tired is not the end of the world and to pick myself up after being knocked down because some one is counting on me to do so.
Image2-87 by mj1015, on Flickr

From living several years in the former Yugoslavia I learned that my wife and I can in fact live for long periods of time with no running water heat or electricity and the joy of finding 3 bottles of Mexican beer in the local store, I have no Idea how that happened but it was a party waiting to happen. I also learned how evil humans can be and how good people can survive with their souls intact, pick themselves up and get on with it.

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I learned from Afghanistan that to voice a political opinion (and I will leave that option to myself) I felt the need to show up and see what is happening with my own eyes. In the end I was once agin awed by the boys and girls who have again and again strapped up.
ImageDSCN1565 by mj1015, on Flickr

Lately I have learned just how humble I feel when a real old guy or real young guy walks into the VFW during my monthly one beer and out party nights out.

During my latest and perhaps last adventure I have learned that once agin there is no other option but to pick myself up, dust off my lumpy ass and try even if the odds are stacked because some one is counting on me to do so. I guess that in the end that is what I have learned, just get the fuck up and get in the game.

And as expressed by another rock head.

Luck is stupid as a cow
and blind as a bat

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Boondock » Wed Aug 26, 2015 1:12 pm

Thanks for the update.

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Re: Closing down the shop.

Post by Beowolf » Wed Aug 26, 2015 1:18 pm

Glad you're still out there.
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