So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Discuss those "what if" or "what would you do" scenarios you've been wondering about.

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Choose wisely

1. Dagger-dangerous in close but no defense ability
2
17%
2. Crossbow- effective but slow, standard bows are a no go
4
33%
3.Small Polearm- extends reach but shorter than std polearm
3
25%
4. Longsword- can block and attack but lack of strength to use eff
0
No votes
5. Axe- amplifies power but shortens already short range
1
8%
6. Spear- extends range, less than std human range
1
8%
7.Morning star- effective close range, no defense
1
8%
 
Total votes: 12

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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by Hiroshima_Morphine » Fri Jun 09, 2017 5:34 am

LowKey wrote:
The Twizzler wrote:Remember I said European bows, not African, Asian, or American, I also said they were hobbits not small humans. Those African pigmys are much stronger than a Hobbit would be. I would like to point out those pigmy bows are for small game hunting not anywhere near armored human opponents, lions, tigers, much less orcs.
There is no difference between African flat bows and European flat bows. The geometry is the same.
The pigmys take deer sized game with them, so more than adequate to take a human. If you meant English longbows you should have specified them, because there are more than a few types of European bows.
Finally, do you think all Hobbits suffer from myasthenia gravis or something similar? Otherwise there's zero reason to think the would be any less strong than a pigmy of equal height. They're actually likely to be stronger, as Hobbits are described as being a bit more robust of build, fat marbling not withstanding. The Took clan was particularly known for being rather physically strong.
I could have been very unfair and compared them to Chimpanzees for physical strength, even though chimps are even smaller than Hobbits..... an angry male chimp could tear your arm out of it's socket. :wink:
Why not compare hobbits to wookies?

(Since we are arguing about the battle capabilities of a fictional species, why not compare them to another fictional species?)

I keep telling myself I'm going to put Twiz on ignore because of how he trolls posts ridiculous quizzes and because of how he trolls argues with anyone who tries to have an 'intelligent' conversation with him concerning the parameters of his thought exercise. He takes being a troll pedant to new heights.

But on the other hand, I always read and almost always respond to his threads. I guess it's part of human nature- the same way we want to see the train wreck and the severed limbs on the side of the highway.
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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by woodsghost » Fri Jun 09, 2017 8:04 am

It is not trolling. Everyone disagrees at some point. This is a thought exercise and gets us talking. It is basically like "chat."
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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by LowKey » Fri Jun 09, 2017 10:02 am

Hiroshima_Morphine wrote:
LowKey wrote:
The Twizzler wrote:Remember I said European bows, not African, Asian, or American, I also said they were hobbits not small humans. Those African pigmys are much stronger than a Hobbit would be. I would like to point out those pigmy bows are for small game hunting not anywhere near armored human opponents, lions, tigers, much less orcs.
There is no difference between African flat bows and European flat bows. The geometry is the same.
The pigmys take deer sized game with them, so more than adequate to take a human. If you meant English longbows you should have specified them, because there are more than a few types of European bows.
Finally, do you think all Hobbits suffer from myasthenia gravis or something similar? Otherwise there's zero reason to think the would be any less strong than a pigmy of equal height. They're actually likely to be stronger, as Hobbits are described as being a bit more robust of build, fat marbling not withstanding. The Took clan was particularly known for being rather physically strong.
I could have been very unfair and compared them to Chimpanzees for physical strength, even though chimps are even smaller than Hobbits..... an angry male chimp could tear your arm out of it's socket. :wink:
Why not compare hobbits to wookies?

(Since we are arguing about the battle capabilities of a fictional species, why not compare them to another fictional species?)

I keep telling myself I'm going to put Twiz on ignore because of how he trolls posts ridiculous quizzes and because of how he trolls argues with anyone who tries to have an 'intelligent' conversation with him concerning the parameters of his thought exercise. He takes being a troll pedant to new heights.

But on the other hand, I always read and almost always respond to his threads. I guess it's part of human nature- the same way we want to see the train wreck and the severed limbs on the side of the highway.
Well gee, since you put it that way... :rofl:

Sling and short sword/large human sized dagger with shield. since that's what Hobbits used. Bit of cordage... a bit of leather... and a few nice stones that I had in my pockets alongside the one ring, and I'm ready to shatter skulls at 100 yards or so.
If they get close I'm holding my heavy umbrella overhead while I cut some Achilles tendons and bring those over sized breathers down to a more comfortable level for me to work on 'em.

It's the blood in my veins of me of gaffer, Bullroarer Took. They say that once he hit a goblin upside the head so hard he knocked it right off and sent it through the air hundreds of yards where it landed in a hole. Killed the goblin and invented the game of golf at the same time, he did. :crazy:
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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by Asymetryczna » Fri Jun 09, 2017 11:59 am

I didn't vote, given the choices. I have a friend who thinks he is a wizard.
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by JeeperCreeper » Fri Jun 09, 2017 4:55 pm

I don't think Twiz is trolling... his threads are just "shooting the shit"... like barbershop talk.

It's like... Marry, Bone, Kill with celebrities... or which movie monster is better... or arguing about which superhero is better... or Ford vs Chevy... or Cake vs Pie...

It's not meant to be serious.
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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by flybynight » Fri Jun 09, 2017 5:39 pm

JeeperCreeper wrote:I don't think Twiz is trolling... his threads are just "shooting the shit"... like barbershop talk.

It's like... Marry, Bone, Kill with celebrities... or which movie monster is better... or arguing about which superhero is better... or Ford vs Chevy... or Cake vs Pie...

It's not meant to be serious.
Sofía Vergara ( any of the above ,kiss , marry , bone )Clint Eastwood, Godzilla , Hulk , Dodge and cake.
Seriously is there any other choices?

edited to add. ( in case it comes up ) Cyclops, lobster fork and 50% more sand.
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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by The Twizzler » Fri Jun 09, 2017 7:31 pm

I was trying trying to liven up the board a little with some water cooler talk. These are the kind of scenarios I tend to think about when bored. I find them fun and obsurd thought exercises, fun because I like to debate people and I choose absurd scenarios because they are less likely to make people mad, and they make me laugh. Not trying to troll, if it appears that way I apologize. :)

Hiroshima_Morphine wrote:
LowKey wrote:
The Twizzler wrote:Remember I said European bows, not African, Asian, or American, I also said they were hobbits not small humans. Those African pigmys are much stronger than a Hobbit would be. I would like to point out those pigmy bows are for small game hunting not anywhere near armored human opponents, lions, tigers, much less orcs.
There is no difference between African flat bows and European flat bows. The geometry is the same.
The pigmys take deer sized game with them, so more than adequate to take a human. If you meant English longbows you should have specified them, because there are more than a few types of European bows.
Finally, do you think all Hobbits suffer from myasthenia gravis or something similar? Otherwise there's zero reason to think the would be any less strong than a pigmy of equal height. They're actually likely to be stronger, as Hobbits are described as being a bit more robust of build, fat marbling not withstanding. The Took clan was particularly known for being rather physically strong.
I could have been very unfair and compared them to Chimpanzees for physical strength, even though chimps are even smaller than Hobbits..... an angry male chimp could tear your arm out of it's socket. :wink:
Why not compare hobbits to wookies?

(Since we are arguing about the battle capabilities of a fictional species, why not compare them to another fictional species?)

I keep telling myself I'm going to put Twiz on ignore because of how he trolls posts ridiculous quizzes and because of how he trolls argues with anyone who tries to have an 'intelligent' conversation with him concerning the parameters of his thought exercise. He takes being a troll pedant to new heights.

But on the other hand, I always read and almost always respond to his threads. I guess it's part of human nature- the same way we want to see the train wreck and the severed limbs on the side of the highway.
"Oh Bother!" said Pooh, as he drew his dagger...

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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by The Twizzler » Fri Jun 09, 2017 7:35 pm

Also, How many unarmed Hobbits could one unarmed Wookie defeat in a battle royal to the Death? I say 4. Thoughts?
"Oh Bother!" said Pooh, as he drew his dagger...

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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by Hiroshima_Morphine » Fri Jun 09, 2017 8:07 pm

The Twizzler wrote:Also, How many unarmed Hobbits could one unarmed Wookie defeat in a battle royal to the Death? I say 4. Thoughts?
:clap:

The average Wookiee-4

Chewie could take on 12!

:mrgreen:
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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by flybynight » Fri Jun 09, 2017 8:44 pm

Hiroshima_Morphine wrote:
The Twizzler wrote:Also, How many unarmed Hobbits could one unarmed Wookie defeat in a battle royal to the Death? I say 4. Thoughts?
:clap:

The average Wookiee-4

Chewie could take on 12!

:mrgreen:
Chewie has both arms
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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by drop bear » Sun Jun 11, 2017 7:35 am

Image

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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by Abuhin » Tue Jun 13, 2017 3:32 am

Well, this inspired a weird thought.

What if a Hobbit took an elf longbow and used it lying down?

Image

Do dedicated footholds need to be added, or should it be fine as is?
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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by The Twizzler » Wed Jun 14, 2017 8:26 pm

Honestly, that could work. I mean aiming would be hard and you'd probably only get one chance but possibly you could out range all the other enemies as they could not duplicate your technique and fully extend their legs and lock their knees. I award you 300 cool points for this idea. :D


Abuhin wrote:Well, this inspired a weird thought.

What if a Hobbit took an elf longbow and used it lying down?

Image

Do dedicated footholds need to be added, or should it be fine as is?
"Oh Bother!" said Pooh, as he drew his dagger...

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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by Abuhin » Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:45 am

The Twizzler wrote:Honestly, that could work. I mean aiming would be hard and you'd probably only get one chance but possibly you could out range all the other enemies as they could not duplicate your technique and fully extend their legs and lock their knees. I award you 300 cool points for this idea. :D


Abuhin wrote:Well, this inspired a weird thought.

What if a Hobbit took an elf longbow and used it lying down?

Image

Do dedicated footholds need to be added, or should it be fine as is?
Set up early as a first strike to thin the herd.



:D

This seems to work best with a partner. So Merry lies down and pulls while Pippin loads the arrow.
But they'd still need weapons for when the fighting gets up close. Hmm... I vote small pole arm, I guess.
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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by JackBauer » Fri Jun 16, 2017 11:57 am

Hiroshima_Morphine wrote:
LowKey wrote:
The Twizzler wrote:Remember I said European bows, not African, Asian, or American, I also said they were hobbits not small humans. Those African pigmys are much stronger than a Hobbit would be. I would like to point out those pigmy bows are for small game hunting not anywhere near armored human opponents, lions, tigers, much less orcs.
There is no difference between African flat bows and European flat bows. The geometry is the same.
The pigmys take deer sized game with them, so more than adequate to take a human. If you meant English longbows you should have specified them, because there are more than a few types of European bows.
Finally, do you think all Hobbits suffer from myasthenia gravis or something similar? Otherwise there's zero reason to think the would be any less strong than a pigmy of equal height. They're actually likely to be stronger, as Hobbits are described as being a bit more robust of build, fat marbling not withstanding. The Took clan was particularly known for being rather physically strong.
I could have been very unfair and compared them to Chimpanzees for physical strength, even though chimps are even smaller than Hobbits..... an angry male chimp could tear your arm out of it's socket. :wink:
Why not compare hobbits to wookies?

(Since we are arguing about the battle capabilities of a fictional species, why not compare them to another fictional species?)

I keep telling myself I'm going to put Twiz on ignore because of how he trolls posts ridiculous quizzes and because of how he trolls argues with anyone who tries to have an 'intelligent' conversation with him concerning the parameters of his thought exercise. He takes being a troll pedant to new heights.

But on the other hand, I always read and almost always respond to his threads. I guess it's part of human nature- the same way we want to see the train wreck and the severed limbs on the side of the highway.
I had my little difference with Twizzler on his tank survey thread. Having worked on tanks in the army I responded thoughtfully and with backed experience and when he naysayed my choice it devolved to a stupid little forum internet argument.
He took the debate to "well you're on a zombie form board so everything we say here is based on make believe anyway". You really can't debate or discuss intelligently with someone who does that.

So on threads that discuss realistic prepping etc., I would ignore Twiz's arguments because he seems to speak out of whatever end he finds convenient to support his side or just to promote argument/debate.

But regarding fantasy threads advertised as such, I agree with what others have said. It's all in fun. In that case I would choose "Sting' as a weapon.

However keeping with what I believe is more realistic, educational tone intended for survival Discussion, survival Equipment, ZS sectional forums I strongly recommend the Moderators consider moving the numerous Twiz 'fantasy' 'silly theory' polls to a section more appropriate to their fantasy content.
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Re: So you are a hobbit enlisted in a war band, weapons?

Post by yossarian » Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:54 pm

JackBauer wrote: Lots of stuff.
The forum has wrestled with how seriously to take itself for a number of years. Historically the judges have generally ruled "meh, we'll allow some latitude". That's what kept this place from becoming a den of elitist dickbags and turned it into a place where people could bullshit a bit but expect to be called out by genuine experts when they were really blowing smoke.

In this era of the forum, if Spideychunk showed more cleavage, he'd have been banned long ago.
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