Destroying a staircase.

Discuss those "what if" or "what would you do" scenarios you've been wondering about.

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Destroying a staircase.

Post by Marxist » Sun Dec 22, 2013 4:34 pm

So the zompoc is here, all your food and supplies are upstairs, so. according to max brooks, you need to destroy your staircase.

My question "How would someone go about doing that effectively?"

He stresses that you need to do so, but never explains how.
(I understand that the book was written as comedy)

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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by Boondock » Sun Dec 22, 2013 6:16 pm

Axe and sledgehammer oughta work on wood stairs.

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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by Rednex » Sun Dec 22, 2013 6:27 pm

Basic in house stairs to a second floor has 3 stringers then the treads and risers. Take out the stringers and the rest comes down, well the middle stringer then knock out the treads and risers ( the steps them selves) so like Boondock said Axe and Sledgehammer should work.


Edit to add do not use fire.
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Sun Dec 22, 2013 6:33 pm

Rednex wrote:Basic in house stairs to a second floor has 3 stringers then the treads and risers. Take out the stringers and the rest comes down, well the middle stringer then knock out the treads and risers ( the steps them selves) so like Boondock said Axe and Sledgehammer should work.


Edit to add do not use fire.
*puts out torch*

Ok, so no fire. :oops:

For me I think axe and sledgehammer would be the best.

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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by Sworbeyegib » Sun Dec 22, 2013 7:23 pm

I've done some demo work here and there. In my demo tool set I have a crow bar, sledge hammer, full metal framing hammer, prybar, as pair of heavy work gloves, bolt cutters, and a sawzall. I have an axe too, but keep it with my yard stuff. I feel pretty confident I could tackle most things with these.
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by RoneKiln » Sun Dec 22, 2013 7:54 pm

Don't believe everything you read on the net. Fire will work wonderfully!

Just let me finish making my popcorn so I can get settled in to watch.
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by MacAttack » Mon Dec 23, 2013 10:25 am

Serious;y

if its mindless Zombies why not just block up the stairs with upstairs furniture thrown onto the stairs?
If they can't walk up easy or rip through easy they will just move on.

If your worried about the Bad guy type of Zombies then a busted up set of stairs will tell them exactly were your hiding. Give them a minute to get that ladder out of the neighbors house. If you fight back to hard they will just use fire and watch you jump out or the windows into their waiting arms.


if its psycho ass mad ragers like in WWZ then your just screwed. They will rip through walls and climb on top of each other just to nibble on your toes. No use spending time ripping up the stairs.


How about putting your supplies and a small platform at the top of a large radio tower and living up their for a month or two? If its high enough and far enough from main roads no one will even see you. And it will be easier to defend from climbers.

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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by wamba » Mon Dec 23, 2013 4:21 pm

Tearing down stairs leads to eventually having to rebuild stairs, & I'm too damned lazy for all that work. :wink: My plan is to just cut plywood to size & screw it to the stairs creating a large slide. If there's a railing I'll try sheathing it in plywood also so the zombies can't pull themselves along it. If they're really persistent I'll look into coating the floor & sides of my creation with grease. It may not be perfect but what it lacks in effectiveness it makes up for in entertainment. :clap:
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by Iowa_guy » Mon Dec 23, 2013 5:07 pm

wamba wrote:Tearing down stairs leads to eventually having to rebuild stairs, & I'm too damned lazy for all that work. :wink: My plan is to just cut plywood to size & screw it to the stairs creating a large slide. If there's a railing I'll try sheathing it in plywood also so the zombies can't pull themselves along it. If they're really persistent I'll look into coating the floor & sides of my creation with grease. It may not be perfect but what it lacks in effectiveness it makes up for in entertainment. :clap:

Seems like something from Home Alone.

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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by raptor » Mon Dec 23, 2013 5:15 pm

Why does everyone want to demolish stairs?!

Seriously if you demo stairs you have to deal with issue of you reduce mobility.

I do not believe zombies are a serious risk but based upon Hollywood zombies here is what you do.

1) Evacuate to the top of the shopping mall...it has to be a mall if is a hollywood ZPAW.
2) Lock the emergency stair well doors (the security guard will have the keys...you know the protagonist security guard.)
3) Put a barricade at the top of the escalator. One low enough you can climb over it.
4) Go downstairs...avoid the zombies and find some full filing cabinets. Place them at the front of the escalator.
5) Go find chairs in the food court and place then upside down (legs up) on the escalator all the way up to the top barrier.
6) place additional furniture on top of the upper barrier.

Viola no need to take out stairs or escalators. :clownshoes:

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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by RESCUE-K9 » Mon Dec 23, 2013 9:52 pm

An 8lb maul will do a fine job
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by Mr. E. Monkey » Mon Dec 23, 2013 11:23 pm

raptor wrote:Why does everyone want to demolish stairs?!
Stairs are just a metaphor; nobody really believes in them. :awesome:
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by MacAttack » Tue Dec 24, 2013 7:18 am

Mr. E. Monkey wrote:
raptor wrote:Why does everyone want to demolish stairs?!
Stairs are just a metaphor; nobody really believes in them. :awesome:

I think they read it in a book or seen it in a movie.


A better idea would be hide in the attic with those pull up stairs. Then you still have them to get back down later. And you might even be able to hide them from passing eyes.

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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by Mr. E. Monkey » Tue Dec 24, 2013 7:42 am

MacAttack wrote:
Mr. E. Monkey wrote:
raptor wrote:Why does everyone want to demolish stairs?!
Stairs are just a metaphor; nobody really believes in them. :awesome:

I think they read it in a book or seen it in a movie.
Yeah. That's Hollywood for ya. :|
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by Niblick » Tue Dec 24, 2013 4:03 pm

MacAttack wrote:
Mr. E. Monkey wrote:
raptor wrote:Why does everyone want to demolish stairs?!
Stairs are just a metaphor; nobody really believes in them. :awesome:

I think they read it in a book or seen it in a movie.


A better idea would be hide in the attic with those pull up stairs. Then you still have them to get back down later. And you might even be able to hide them from passing eyes.
But if they chase you into a room and you climb into the attic, they will most likely remain there for eternity. A better option would be to destroy the staircase and keep them from the second story. That way you can still escape via window after your supplies are depleted.
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by Rednex » Tue Dec 24, 2013 4:44 pm

Mr. E. Monkey wrote:
MacAttack wrote:
Mr. E. Monkey wrote:
raptor wrote:Why does everyone want to demolish stairs?!
Stairs are just a metaphor; nobody really believes in them. :awesome:

I think they read it in a book or seen it in a movie.
Yeah. That's Hollywood for ya. :|

I just like destroying stuff.
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by Dawgboy » Tue Dec 24, 2013 5:34 pm

Rednex wrote:I just like destroying stuff.
Have you considered a career in the Army? :mrgreen:
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by MacAttack » Wed Dec 25, 2013 12:12 am

Niblick wrote:
MacAttack wrote:
Mr. E. Monkey wrote:
raptor wrote:Why does everyone want to demolish stairs?!
Stairs are just a metaphor; nobody really believes in them. :awesome:

I think they read it in a book or seen it in a movie.


A better idea would be hide in the attic with those pull up stairs. Then you still have them to get back down later. And you might even be able to hide them from passing eyes.
But if they chase you into a room and you climb into the attic, they will most likely remain there for eternity. A better option would be to destroy the staircase and keep them from the second story. That way you can still escape via window after your supplies are depleted.


Not all attics are closed off confined dens of death.
You can normally easily break through the ceiling into another room. Try it one day.
Outside walls and roofs are surprisingly thin and take little more than a good sledge or axe to get through. So you can almost always break out just fine with a little planning.

And if a Zombie is camped out watching your hiding hole you have a far bigger problem than just getting out. Or just reach down and club the Z in the head.

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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by mantis » Wed Dec 25, 2013 3:26 pm

Marxist wrote:So the zompoc is here, all your food and supplies are upstairs, so. according to max brooks, you need to destroy your staircase.

My question "How would someone go about doing that effectively?"

He stresses that you need to do so, but never explains how.
(I understand that the book was written as comedy)
The best way to use that book as a survival tool is to burn it for kindling or use it as ass-wipe. At the very most, take whatever advice it gives and do the exact opposite.
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by wamba » Thu Dec 26, 2013 3:47 pm

Iowa_guy wrote:
wamba wrote:Tearing down stairs leads to eventually having to rebuild stairs, & I'm too damned lazy for all that work. :wink: My plan is to just cut plywood to size & screw it to the stairs creating a large slide. If there's a railing I'll try sheathing it in plywood also so the zombies can't pull themselves along it. If they're really persistent I'll look into coating the floor & sides of my creation with grease. It may not be perfect but what it lacks in effectiveness it makes up for in entertainment. :clap:

Seems like something from Home Alone.
You know now that you mention it it kind of does. Suddenly I'm not nearly as tickled with my self anymore. :(
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by Doctorr Fabulous » Thu Dec 26, 2013 3:49 pm

wamba wrote:
Iowa_guy wrote:
wamba wrote:Tearing down stairs leads to eventually having to rebuild stairs, & I'm too damned lazy for all that work. :wink: My plan is to just cut plywood to size & screw it to the stairs creating a large slide. If there's a railing I'll try sheathing it in plywood also so the zombies can't pull themselves along it. If they're really persistent I'll look into coating the floor & sides of my creation with grease. It may not be perfect but what it lacks in effectiveness it makes up for in entertainment. :clap:

Seems like something from Home Alone.
You know now that you mention it it kind of does. Suddenly I'm not nearly as tickled with my self anymore. :(
You'll need a hand-cranked grammophone with "Yakety Sax" ready to go.
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by mantis » Thu Dec 26, 2013 7:57 pm

Doctorr Fabulous wrote:You'll need a hand-cranked grammophone with "Yakety Sax" ready to go.
ROFLMAO!

Doc Torr wrote:"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who see them coming a hundred yards away."
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by Mrselfdestruct » Mon Apr 28, 2014 5:32 pm

MacAttack wrote:
Mr. E. Monkey wrote:
raptor wrote:Why does everyone want to demolish stairs?!
Stairs are just a metaphor; nobody really believes in them. :awesome:

I think they read it in a book or seen it in a movie.


A better idea would be hide in the attic with those pull up stairs. Then you still have them to get back down later. And you might even be able to hide them from passing eyes.

I read a girl's diary in high school, where that ended really badly.
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Re: Destroying a staircase.

Post by ausher » Mon Apr 28, 2014 8:12 pm

I would just toss a queen or king size mattresses down the stairs along with a couple dressers full of clothes. Ever try moving a 120 pound mattress up or down stairs by yourself? Pain in the ass! I don't think a zombie would be coordinated enough to do it and they would get stuck trying to get through that mess. And I'd toss all the coat hangers in the middle of it all.

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