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What will you choose?
Stapler-it's metal and I guess I could staple a paper to ur face 27%  27%  [ 8 ]
Keyboard- I get one good wack 7%  7%  [ 2 ]
Corded Mouse- garrote 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Cordless Mouse- distraction 3%  3%  [ 1 ]
Monitor/Deskstop- I crush you 20%  20%  [ 6 ]
secretary- eat her and spare me 43%  43%  [ 13 ]
Total votes : 30
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 18, 2016 10:38 pm 
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Okay, so you work in a typical office and the zombie apocalypse is upon you. These are your options men.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 18, 2016 10:43 pm 
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Garrote wont work because they don't breath man! I don't think any company still has CRT monitors any more, so the flat screens are kinda flimsy. Stapler is best choice. But I'd pick up the scissors because at least I could break skin with them.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 18, 2016 11:02 pm 
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Stapler.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHHZBmF8mk4

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 18, 2016 11:19 pm 
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While I believe more effective impromptu weapons could be found in a office environment, from your list..... I would take the keyboard and use it as a shield utilizing the cord to attach it to my forearm medieval bracer style . Then take the corded mouse and attaché the cord to the metal stapler for a improvised mace. none of this would last very long, but I only have to make it to my vehicle to gain actual weapons.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 3:09 pm 
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Scissors, pencil, screwdriver. IIRC, Zombie Go Boom was able to successfully shove all of them through the side of an test head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ESOupDFeck


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 4:20 pm 
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We have a paper cutter at the end of our row. It's a real old school one and this topic prompted me to examine it more closely. There are two bolts holding the swing arm, and they're only finger tight.

Swing arm machete for the win!

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 3:06 pm 
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I hope all of you BRAVE MEN are proud of yourself for being willing to sacrifice that poor secretary in order to save your own worthless skin! Just think of how she would reward you later on! :clap:


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 3:14 pm 
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5 lbs ABC fire extinguisher is my choice. Spray the eyes to confuse and whack them in the head with it. Fall back build a wall of file cabinets to funnel them away.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 4:02 pm 
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Mad Mike wrote:
I hope all of you BRAVE MEN are proud of yourself for being willing to sacrifice that poor secretary in order to save your own worthless skin! Just think of how she would reward you later on! :clap:


My admin is a male. Brave new world. And I wouldn't be interested in his 'reward'.

Poor Rob is still totally z-fodder in a him-or-me scenario, but that would be equally true with the AVP in the next row. Yeah, baby, yeah! :crazy:

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 4:07 pm 
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majorhavoc wrote:
Mad Mike wrote:
I hope all of you BRAVE MEN are proud of yourself for being willing to sacrifice that poor secretary in order to save your own worthless skin! Just think of how she would reward you later on! :clap:


My admin is a male. Brave new world. And I wouldn't be interested in his 'reward'.

Poor Rob is still totally z-fodder in a him-or-me scenario, but that would be equally true with the AVP in the next row. Yeah, baby, yeah! :crazy:



I'm sad you only had male admin/secretary in your office. :gonk: Mine was super cute & could have made the centerfold of Playboy! Definitely worth saving! :wink:


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 4:46 pm 
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Mad Mike wrote:
I hope all of you BRAVE MEN are proud of yourself for being willing to sacrifice that poor secretary in order to save your own worthless skin! Just think of how she would reward you later on! :clap:

Hey, she doesn't have to be faster than the zombies. Just faster than Mad Mike :wink:

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 4:49 pm 
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majorhavoc,
totally agree. We have one in the back of the office and I've often wondered how hard it is to get that thing off of there, you know, in case of zombies.
But given my options, I choose monitor because I've got two in front of me, duel wielding? :awesome:


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 5:17 pm 
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flybynight wrote:
Mad Mike wrote:
I hope all of you BRAVE MEN are proud of yourself for being willing to sacrifice that poor secretary in order to save your own worthless skin! Just think of how she would reward you later on! :clap:

Hey, she doesn't have to be faster than the zombies. Just faster than Mad Mike :wink:



What's that old saying about running faster scared...... :words:


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 5:48 pm 
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None of the above :) My office has it's own exit to the parking lot and my truck is no more than 5 metres away as I type :) Off to my BOL!

That being said, I do have a cart in my office for moving equipment around so I could at least use that to hold off a zombie or two while I get to the door.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:55 pm 
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Stapler + some duct tape, quarters, anything small and heavy and metal. Boom, functional club/sap.

But I'd take the arm from the paper cutter over that.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 8:00 am 
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2016 12:29 pm 
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Mad Mike wrote:
I hope all of you BRAVE MEN are proud of yourself for being willing to sacrifice that poor secretary in order to save your own worthless skin! Just think of how she would reward you later on! :clap:



Yeah...I'm a woman, so it was her or me; I win.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2016 7:21 am 
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Head for janitors closet, get one of those heavy duty mops they use, or the pushbroom. the handle makes a good fighting staff.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2016 2:08 pm 
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Anything I can find, and hope they are the slow moving zombies because if they are those running mothers it won't matter what you have, your Zombie tar-tar!

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 5:59 pm 
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Mad Mike wrote:
I hope all of you BRAVE MEN are proud of yourself for being willing to sacrifice that poor secretary in order to save your own worthless skin! Just think of how she would reward you later on! :clap:


Just depends. Is she a Helga/Beverly, or a Jessica/Lindsay/other hot chick name?

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 6:36 pm 
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uncleben03 wrote:
Mad Mike wrote:
I hope all of you BRAVE MEN are proud of yourself for being willing to sacrifice that poor secretary in order to save your own worthless skin! Just think of how she would reward you later on! :clap:


Just depends. Is she a Helga/Beverly, or a Jessica/Lindsay/other hot chick name?



Well, mine resembled Salma Hayek...... :awesome:


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 9:28 pm 
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Is this thread supposed to be titled "Rate your secretary for hotness"?

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 9:33 pm 
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ZombieGranny wrote:
Is this thread supposed to be titled "Rate your secretary for hotness"?




Nope, it's about choices.
I can't imagine sacrificing a woman (or a child) for my own safety.
The previous post was sarcasm, but I guess it didn't work too well. :oops:


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 9:42 pm 
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Yours wasn't the only one.
Several women have complained about the jokes lately. They get tiresome.

I had a hard time figuring out a tactful way of mentioning it... not sure I was successful.

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