2017 Holiday Special. Prepper Claus!

Items to keep you alive in the event you must evacuate: discussions of basic Survival Kits commonly called "Bug Out Bags" or "Go Bags"

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Woods Walker
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2017 Holiday Special. Prepper Claus!

Post by Woods Walker » Mon Dec 25, 2017 11:31 am

This is the time of year when I deck the shelter in Holiday cheer to draw in Prepper Claus in the hopes of receiving prepping related gifts. But unfortunately He doesn't come to every heated tipi, bush shelter or tent. First he determines if you have been naughty or nice. Nice is prepping and naughty is not. Last year I did a bunch of prepping so he showed up with gifts. This year I have been slack.

1. 50 LB bag of rice.

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2. Some Glock mags gotten at a local flea market for 5 dollars each. It was a lucky score as didn't have any 10 round ones. I can't carry an extra 15 round per my state law so needed these.

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3. Watched a few Prepping videos on YouTube.

But I freely admit this is weak sauce in terms of prepping. There is never a guarantee Prepper Claus will show up. He is a bit squirrely by nature. Give this it's often necessary to draw in Prepper Claus beyond just being a good prepper all year. The following steps are highly recommended.

1. Decorate the shelter in Holiday cheer. Like Santa he is nocturnal in nature. I prefer using lights in festive colors as these will be easier to see from his mystic quad or snow mobile depending on local conditions.

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According to legend he comes down the stove pipe and out firebox door. I believe this is a bunch of malarkey as he would most likely use the shelter door but why risk it. No fire and door is wide open. If there is a fire allow the coals to totally burn down before turning in for the night.

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Santa Claus takes offerings of milk and cookies. It has never been determined if this is a quid pro quo or just a consideration. Prepper Claus wants ammo. Seeing how he is the ultimate prepper it's my feeling this a requirement. I have been slack this year so offered up this speed loader full of the legendary .357 Black Talon in the hopes the offering will be taken into consideration. I am desperate......

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What does Prepper Claus look like? Based on educated guess, wild speculation, innuendo, supposition and down right lies here is what legend says. He is dressed in a black trench coat with old school woodland camo pants. He wears camo gloves and has Crocs on his feet. Though I have never heard the sound Prepper Claus heralds his arrive with an old rusty cow bell taken from the heartland of rural America. Naturally all of this has never been substantiated in any way.

Full of apprehension over my lackluster prepping this year I turned in for the night praying for a miracle. I left the lights on overnight however the cold killed the batteries. I was really concerned over it.

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Then to my surprise the speed loader was gone and in it's place were these gifts!!!!!

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OMG!!! Exactly what I wanted!!!! But how could Prepper Claus know?

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A black G2 new in shop worn package isn't exactly something readily available but wanted one for a Malkoff LED upgrade. The Lii100 is available but not in the local B&M. The last one is the kicker. How could he possibly know about the Spalted Pecan Burl bearing block. I noticed it for sale on a forum but didn't have the money. Check again and it was sold. What a bummer....

https://bushcraftusa.com/forum/threads/ ... 17.212382/

Being totally shocked this exact one of a kinda item was gifted by Prepper Claus I looked again at the sales thread. I didn't post in that thread yet there were two post under my handle. I check my email and there was no PayPal invoice sent. I checked PayPal seeing an invoice but in a blink of my eyes that info vanished as if someone detected me opening the page then deleted it. I didn't order or pay for the item. I wanted it but money was tight at the time. I suspect that's how he knows what everyone wants. He hacks into your computer or mobile device to see what you're looking at. Not magic as Google does it all the time. He then uses that info to order the stuff you need using your accounts. As I didn't pay for these things he most likely hacks the money from terrorist groups or rich drug cartels. Like a prepping Robin Hood. Then all he needs to do is intercept the packages. Basically negating much the infrastructure Santa requires to do the same basic job. Prepper Claus is a crafty one!!!

Here is a video version of the above post.



Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays or whatever you're into!!!! The Walker.
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"There's no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing"
"Do not mess with the forces of Nature, for thou art small and biodegradable!"

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Re: 2017 Holiday Special. Prepper Claus!

Post by woodsghost » Mon Dec 25, 2017 12:36 pm

This was awesome. I'm still waiting on Pepper Clause. I think I heard him chatting on a 2 meter band radio. I'm hoping one fell off the quad....
*Remember: I'm just a guy on the internet :)
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Re: 2017 Holiday Special. Prepper Claus!

Post by Halfapint » Mon Dec 25, 2017 5:24 pm

Oh, maybe prepper clause hit my moms house, as my home address is rather OPSEC. I hope I hope I hope prepper clause came to visit me!
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Re: 2017 Holiday Special. Prepper Claus!

Post by Woods Walker » Tue Dec 26, 2017 12:04 am

I couldn't run the stove as a precaution (which turned out to be malarkey) in case he showed up. But now I can.

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"There's no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing"
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Re: 2017 Holiday Special. Prepper Claus!

Post by Halfapint » Tue Dec 26, 2017 2:06 am

Well, I obviously wasn't a very good prepped this year. Prepped clause did not not leave much for me, however he did leave me a quilt. While not much, a good quilt is a very good gift. Maybe next year prepped clause will get me more, however in the mean time. I'm very happy with my quilt.
JeeperCreeper wrote:I like huge dicks, Halfapint, so you are OK in my book.... hahaha
Spazzy wrote:Tell ya what... If Zombies attack and the world ends I'll hook tandem toddlers to a plow if it means I'll be able to eat...

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Re: 2017 Holiday Special. Prepper Claus!

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Tue Dec 26, 2017 1:19 pm

Prepper Claus and Tactical Claus must've bumped into each other at my place this year because I got an Ontario USA USAF pilot's survival knife and a Caldwell magazine loader.

I've always wanted one of the Ontario knives and I guess Prepper Claus has access to my Amazon wish list. Tactical Claus must hang out on YouTube because I've been watching review videos on the Caldwell mag loader (reviews are kind of mixed on it, but I like it.).

I feel bad for not leaving anything out for either of them, but now that I think of it, I am missing a lighter and set of ear pro. I guess Prepper Claus and Tactical Claus just grabbed a random item from my preps and called it a fair trade. :lol:

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Re: 2017 Holiday Special. Prepper Claus!

Post by Woods Walker » Thu Dec 28, 2017 11:40 pm

I didn't know there was a Tactical Claus but why not?
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"There's no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing"
"Do not mess with the forces of Nature, for thou art small and biodegradable!"

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