Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Zombie or Post Apocalyptic themed fiction/stories.

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Whiskey » Thu Dec 15, 2011 12:34 pm

Part four is where I am starting to have a bit of a breakdown... things just aren't flowing. Ill put it up when I'm at my computer tonight, see what you all think.

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Cascade Failure » Thu Dec 15, 2011 1:06 pm

Ok.

Worst case scenario ... it sucks.

Judging from what I've read, it won't.

Post what you have and I bet the responses will give you something to work with...

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Lex1785 » Thu Dec 15, 2011 2:43 pm

Dig it! you've got a really good grasp on small unit operations and the mentality involved with them. MOAR KEEP IT UP!
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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Rayven3801 » Thu Dec 15, 2011 3:08 pm

Story is going awesome, it's time like this I wish I hadn't found it at the beginning, now the torture of waiting begins.

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Whiskey » Fri Dec 16, 2011 2:37 am

PART FOUR- “De Oppresso Liber”

“Civilians, Sir.” Rock said, like I couldn’t see them myself. They were huddled together behind an overturned couch, as if that would stop the creatures we had been dealing with all night. The rest of the team moved in behind us, and Doc started to check out Robbins’ wound. I walked over to the civilians and tried to take stock of their situation. I slung my rifle, and flipped up my night vision. There were five of them, a man and a woman old enough to be my grand-folks, and a younger couple who were both holding tightly to a small girl, as if protecting her from us. They all seemed to be unhurt, surprisingly. I smiled, waved slowly, and decided to try out my very limited Spanish.
“Hablo English?” Like I said, my Spanish was limited.
“You are American?” The older man asked me, timidly, as if he couldn’t believe I was real. At least he knew a bit of English. I knelt down by him, trying to reassure him that I was, in fact, real.
“Yes, I am an American soldier. We are going to help you, but we need to know what is going on here. Are any of you hurt? We have a medic with us.” In the dark, I could only guess towards his age, but the lines in his face and his grey hair told me his life had either been pretty long or very difficult. He had a full bandolier of twelve-gauge shotgun shells across his body, making him look like an elderly Pancho Villa. The old woman who I assumed was his wife was sitting quietly next to him, but didn’t have any fear in her eyes at all. It looked like she had been through her fair share of hard times with this man. The younger family did seem afraid. By the look of them, they weren’t from around here. Instead of the simple clothing of a small town worker or farmer, the man was wearing a nice looking suit, and his wife had on a sundress, and heels of all things. The little girl looked curiously at me, and smiled back when I grinned and waved at her. All in all, these people seemed completely unhurt. The old man grabbed my hand, and held it between his two ancient hands, which at first seemed withered and frail, but held mine with a strength I didn’t expect.
“I locked us in when I heard the monsters. We were going to ride it out. We had food, water, weapons.” He looked down at the old double barrel break action shotgun in his hands.”We have been in here for hours, maybe even a day. I haven’t heard anything from my neighbors for a while, not since they tried to evacuate. Senior, what is happening?” His voice never faltered, and did not seem weak at all. Apparently, the old man knew English as well as I did. I filled him in on what I knew; leaving out the possibility that China was trying to end the world.
After reassuring him again we were going to do whatever we could to help him, I went back to check on my team. Robbins was putting the door back up and trying to brace it with some furniture. Remy was checking the barricades in the windows, and Doc had Jamesson up on a table, his aid bag open and his headlamp on. He was looking at a wound on Rock’s back, with a look of confusion on his face.

“What’s his situation, Doc?” The medic, who had stitched more people, saved more lives than anyone else I knew, shook his head and motioned for me to come take a look.

“The wound isn’t bleeding. I mean, it obviously bled, but it stopped before we even got in here. The flesh around it is completely necrotic already, but there is no redness, no swelling, and the skin around it is cool to the touch.” Rock, for the first time in his life, decided this was exactly the proper moment to start worrying.

“It was just a scratch, Doc! What’s going on?” There was more than a little tension in Rock’s voice. He knew something was wrong. I started to pull Doc away from his patient, hoping not to get him any more excited. Remy went over and put a hand on Jamesson’s shoulder, and started talking to him quietly. Master Sergeant Williams must have decided we were in a safe enough position, because he let the wounded man break out a Marlboro cigarette and light up. Rock held the smoke in his lungs for a few seconds, and slowly exhaled, the red light from Doc’s headlamp giving the smoke a haunted house look.

“I can’t go out like this, Sarge,” Rock said quietly to Williams. “I got a girl back home, and we were going to get married…” Rock talked slowly, not sounding in pain, but not sounding like he was really with us anymore. He went on talking about his girlfriend, Maria, for a few minutes, even though Remy already knew everything about her, and the wedding plans. Of course, the whole team had planned to be there. Dunn was going to be the best man, although he constantly complained that Maria was forcing us all to shave for the event. Remy gave me a subtle nod, letting me know he had it under control. Doc and I walked to the opposite corner of the room.

“Whatever it is, Boss, he’s probably got it. He must have gotten bit when that thing tried to take him out from the top ropes. The biological agent is thought to be passed by bodily fluids or bites, like rabies. I can’t even begin to guess how long he has, and if it’s going to kill him, or make him one of them.” I can only imagine what the expression looked like on my face.

Doc continued, “Sir, at the risk of sounding Section Eight, I think I know exactly what we are dealing with.” He paused, obviously trying to decide if he was going to sound crazy or not. “I’ve always been a fan of horror films and comic books. This is just like the movies, Sir, except in the movies nobody ever seems to have seen a horror film themselves.” I shook my head, not tracking whatever the Doc was trying to say.

“Spit it out, Doc.”

“Zombies, Boss.” I’m pretty sure that’s when the night went from bad to somewhere off the map of insanity. Still, I couldn’t accept that we were dealing with some evil, undead army. I had fought Al Qaeda, the Taliban, and countless other no name insurgents in my career. However, none of them had gotten their debut in comic books or old black and white movies.

“Doc, I hate to shoot down your diagnosis here, but zombies aren’t real.” He looked at me like I had told him the sky wasn’t blue, or that maybe Bigfoot was just a dude in a monkey suit.

“Sir, you gotta follow me on this. Everything fits. Bite wounds that don’t bleed. People acting like rabid animals, that don’t show up on thermals, and don’t quit after having claymores blown danger close. Just because there is no voodoo involved, doesn’t mean they ain’t zombies. It could easily be an engineered viral strain.”

I had to give it to him there. None of it was adding up, and at least he had a theory. It sounded impossible, but so had a lot of things before that night. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

“Okay, since you seem to be the resident expert, what are we dealing with?” As I asked him

There is one thing I will never do again to this day, and that is ask Doc about zombies. It seems that he had seen every zombie movie ever made, even the crappy low budget ones. He had read every book there was on the subject of the undead, and he was even a member of an online group that devoted itself to surviving the zombie apocalypse. Normally, I would have given him a hard time for being a total geek, and tell him he needed to get laid more often. That night, though, his knowledge was a gift from God. If only the government would have taken his report seriously, we may have avoided so much of the hardship that came after the Outbreak. Although, due to the slight feeling of impending doom, I had to cut him off around the time he was describing the perfect fortress to defend against the horde.
“… but as I was saying, you have to hit them in the head. Their hearing is probably really good, and they will swarm to the sound of another zombie’s moan. I should have figured this out sooner…” I patted him on the back, assuring him that, surely, nobody had ever expected zombies to happen in real life.

As that old cartoon said, “Knowing is half the battle.” Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be the case here. Shooting these monsters was easy, but that wouldn’t matter if we ran out of bullets. There was a good possibility that we had an entire village of undead tangos outside our door. Then toss in the fact that I had a wounded soldier who could become a reanimated people-eater any minute. I was completely at a loss, for the first time in my career. There is only one thing a military officer can do when he is that far up that creek, lacking the required issue of paddles. He consults his senior non-commissioned officer.

“Sergeant Williams, a word?” I sent Doc back to Robbins, and prepared to brief my acting team sergeant, hoping he may have a good idea. As I filled him in, his lack of surprise astounded me. He raised that one eyebrow, like he was a little bit intrigued about the news that we had spent the last couple of hours shooting people that had recently come back from the dead.
“Well Sir, seems we have only one option. Take these civilians and bug out. The Big Army is going to have to come in and contain this before it gets any further.” He shoved some Skoal in his lower lip, and offered me the can. I shook my head, and he shrugged, obviously thinking that cancer of the face should be the least of my worries. It still astounds me how cool he was about the whole situation. I don’t think there was ever a better man to have by your side when stuff went off the deep end.

“Check the map for me, Remy. I need a good LZ, the closer, the better. I’m going to call higher and try to get us a bird out of here. Maybe there is something they can do for Robbins.” The old master sergeant nodded, and pulled the maps out of his cargo pocket, while I pulled out my sat-phone and dialed up the General.

“It’s about time, Captain. Report.” It’s about time? Surely the good General wasn’t getting an attitude with me.

“Sir, I have been dealing with a biological weapon that makes anthrax look like a joke. We have come to believe that whatever we are dealing with reanimates dead flesh after the infection kills the host. We currently have one infected, and now have five civilians on our hands. We need a ride out of here.” There was nothing but static on the line for a moment.
“Captain, what exactly do you make of the situation on the ground?” Amazing. The end of the world might be happening, and the General wanted my professional opinion.

“You have to get in touch with the Mexican government. This has to be contained. My medic says if this stuff, whatever it is exactly, hits a major population center… Well, we are talking the end of the world as we know it. It will spread faster than we could possibly imagine.”

“We thought this might happen. Soldier, you are going to have to bug out on foot, and do it fast. The protocol for this calls for strict containment. I’m sorry, son, but you are on your own. I have calls to make. Good luck.”

That was it, and he managed to say “I’m sorry” like he had accidentally bumped into me in the subway terminal. I could almost bet he had already come up with our cover story, what he would tell our families when we didn’t make it home. I slammed my fist into the nearest wall. This isn’t how it is supposed to be! They can’t just count us out already!
There are times when being in charge really blows. This was one of them. I felt betrayed. I wanted to give up right then and there. Unfortunately, leaders aren’t allowed to think or act that way. I had my team’s lives in my hands, and I couldn’t let them die out there. I wouldn’t let them die anonymously, just a number in someone’s top secret report. It was on me to make sure my soldiers made it home to their loved ones. That was the burden of command.

On top of that, I had a new trouble with the civilians. The older ones and the little girl would slow us down. There was no way I was going to leave them though. As I started to think about it, they may even be useful. I walked back over to the old man with the shotgun.

“You said the people of this town tried to evacuate. What do you mean tried? Where were they trying to go? What route?” The old man held his hands up, trying to stop the questions. He slowly collected himself, and started his story, sometimes pausing for a second to find the correct word. His voice was soft, but had a force to it that demanded you listen.

“Earlier this week, everything was normal. This is a small market and farming town, and where everyone knows each other. A few days ago, a stranger appeared. He was a rancher or a farmer, and said he was from many miles away, although he was not dressed for travel. He came to see about medicine, and to see the priest. I worked here, with Father Gonzales.” In the dark I had not noticed the rosary beads around his neck, or the Bible he kept next to him. I guess the shotgun in his hands had told me all I needed to know. He was the protector of his family, the most important of his flock. The old man took a breath, and continued.

“He spoke of monsters, demons attacking in the night. He had lived on the outskirts of his village, and had heard the commotion as the creatures started to attack livestock and people on the other side of town. He grabbed his rifle, thinking they were dealing with coyotes, or maybe bandits. What he described, that night, I will not say. It is my burden to bear. However, he escaped with his life, only slightly wounded, and it was self inflicted. Out of bullets for his rifle, he punched one of the demons in the mouth, knocking it over and giving himself time to run. And that sealed the guy’s fate. Punching one of these things in the mouth would have broken the skin in the fist, and transferred the disease. Poor guy probably started the infection here. The old man looked at me, and must have guessed what I was thinking.

“He was not the start of our troubles; he was a good man who gave us warning of terrible things to come. He… passed away… shortly after coming here. I was the last one to see him on this earth. However, he told us of what was to come, and the mayor held a meeting of the townspeople. The man had told us that our village was in the direct path of the creatures, and that we would need to escape, and let the government know what was happening.” He smiled sadly. “If this had started up in Mexico City, the police and Army would sweep in like saviors… but out here, nobody pays us attention. The Cartel is the government here, and they were the first ones to leave. We were on our own. We decided to take two routes; one north, towards the border, and one east towards larger cities. Many of the younger men took up arms to provide protection.”

I checked my maps. There weren’t many good passes out of this valley, certainly none that would provide protection, and none that would be very easy for children or elderly people. I looked at him and asked what routes they took.
“The mountains here are full of old mines, and some caves. Many people used one of the larger mines to go north. The other route was by the main road out of this town. Some thought that the big cities would be the safest places to go, that they would find help there. That is where I first heard gunfire. I was in the bell tower here, trying to see what was coming. I saw fires start, and then saw a mob of people moving through the city. There was the sound of guns firing, and screaming. I was terrified, but I could not leave this place. I promised the Father I would look after his church, the church that had been looked after, maintained, and defended by my family for as long as anyone can remember. So I brought the rest of my family here and sealed the doors.I made a terrible mistake. Senior, can you help us, please?”

I took a second to take stock of my situation again. Five civilians, six operators, one of which was wounded, and an unknown amount of undead tangos standing between us and our emergency exfil point. It definitely was not looking good for us, but if our job was always easy, everyone would do it. It was time to rally the team, and start making tracks.

“Sniper One, this is Red Fox Six, come in,” I called over my radio. After a few seconds, I didn’t get a response, and I called again. That is when I noticed an unusual amount of static on the radio. I clicked the manual push-to-talk button on the side of my radio, and didn’t get the usual squelch tone that told me I was sending.

“Team, check your radios. I think we have a hot mic somewhere.” Everyone looked over their radio systems, and made sure nothing was holding their push-to-talk buttons on send. One by one all of my operators gave me a thumbs up. I was lucky to have such a small group, and that we were all in one room. When I was in Afghanistan the first time with the regular Army, someone in our convoy had accidentally transmitted something that sounded a lot like elevator music for about fifteen klicks, until our platoon sergeant pulled over the whole convoy and personally checked every single vehicle.

“Could it be one of the Mexican soldier’s radio, Sir?” Robbins asked. I thought about that and shook my head.

“No, I used the radio after the strike on the building, and after Charley discovered the Mexican machine gun teams.” As soon as I said that, it hit me. Charley’s radio. I couldn’t reach him because his radio was stuck on transmit. He was too disciplined as a soldier and as a sniper to make such a rookie mistake, especially for this long. I got on the radio again, and this time I was being as loud as I could without giving away our hiding site.

“Dunn, come in damn it!” I hissed into the radio, trying to break into the channel between frequency hops. I still heard nothing but static. I told Remy to keep monitoring the frequency as I switched channels.

“Ares Two-Five, this is Red Fox Six, come in.”

“Fox Six, this is Ares. Good to hear from you, how did fire mission work out for you?” The radio man for the gunship seemed completely nonchalant, probably easy to do when you are orbiting a firefight, instead of down in the thick of things.

“Ares, I need you to take a look at a grid for me, ASAP.” I sent them the grid for Charley’s last known position.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And that's what I have so far. Its definitely not a chapter yet... I just hit a block. I am wondering if I need to go back and deal with Charley a little earlier, or if now is a good time.

Zombie Squad readers, help me determine a man's fate, if you will.

All other comments are welcome, as always.
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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Manliest » Fri Dec 16, 2011 9:41 am

I think hearing the sniper's panicked screams over the net would be too cliche, though it's chilling in person, I don't think that feeling would translate well into writing.

I think this method of segue (?) is great, but I feel like maybe throwing in a call to the sniper that goes unanswered prior to this point would be the best bet. Distracted by the civilians, medic, and the whole revelation that they're in a zombie movie, the TL finally reaches out to the sniper again, only to get the hot mic.

I love this.

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Cascade Failure » Fri Dec 16, 2011 10:11 am

Not knowing where the story is going it is real hard to give you advice. Maybe the mic is stuck in the maw of some flesh eater. Maybe our valiant sniper REALLY had to drop a deuce and the mic is between a rock and a ruck. Maybe its not a hot mic but someone above is fucking with the team.

Outline the story and when your happy with it fill in the details. For example, does the team bug out with the civvies or make a stand? How does that decision play out? Charley could be a side story where he is surviving on his own but later interacts with the main story. If you go that route, don't let the side story overpower the main unless you were clever enough to write in that direction from the beginning.

Take your time, write your story. We'll find you if you don't finish it.

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Lex1785 » Fri Dec 16, 2011 10:39 am

I like it a lot so far, I think you should leave Charley's situation just the way it is for now, unknown it adds to the suspense and you can tie it in later when the team makes its break from the village in a mulititude of ways.
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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Laager » Fri Dec 16, 2011 4:05 pm

My first thought is that higher up was jamming, but now with them being able to contact Ares, I'm wondering if they are fixing to write them all off as in one huge training accident.
“Complacency kills. Paranoia is the reason I’m still alive.” If we do happen to make contact, I expect nothing less than gratuitous violence from the lot of ya.

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by survivaljoe » Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:08 pm

Laager wrote:My first thought is that higher up was jamming, but now with them being able to contact Ares, I'm wondering if they are fixing to write them all off as in one huge training accident.
I don't think the guys are going to get written off per se, because it sounded to me like they were sent there on purpose, with a mission of making contact and possibly bringing back the virus to study. The higher ups had knowledge of rumors, these guys got the short straw to go in and verify those rumors.

The mention of "protocols" and " strict containment" also got me thinking that the higher ups what these guys out of the city before they send the choppers in. Ares will stand by for support though.

As for where I think the story is going...well, I think that these guys eventually lose comms with command and end up walking back to the US of A. Only to find ruins and undead. And then book two starts :D

Btw, HBO called, and they want their mini series back!
...It's been a while...

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Whiskey » Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:06 am

Funny you say that... I've got a follow on story already. Thank you guys for your feedback. You all had good points, and I'm going to work them in. I think its interesting nobody called shenanigans on my danger close AC130 strike ;)

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Mister Dark » Sat Dec 17, 2011 11:33 am

Love the story, keep it up!

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by mossy5zs » Tue Dec 20, 2011 3:27 am

This is fantastic!!!! Write more soon please!!!

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by akraven » Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:47 am

Good story so far. I will be interested to see where you take it.

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Cascade Failure » Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:52 pm

And........................?

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Re: Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Whiskey » Thu Dec 29, 2011 6:05 pm

akraven wrote:Good story so far. I will be interested to see where you take it.
So will I.

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Manliest » Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:39 pm

Any luck on that MOAR? B-)

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by bad_karma00 » Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:52 am

Very nice. Looking to be a bang up job. And a realistic Zombie story which is a rarity. Keep at it!
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Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Ike » Tue Apr 03, 2012 7:56 am

When can we get some moar?

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by nathat » Thu Aug 30, 2012 1:57 pm

yeah, I was sad to see this one stop.

edit: wow, why did this show up? I Necroed it, but it was at the top for me already...

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by ShieldWolf » Sat Sep 01, 2012 12:01 am

Great writing man, please continue

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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Griffworks » Mon Sep 03, 2012 3:08 am

Fantastic writing thus far!

MOARPLZ? :?:
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Re: Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by DAVE KI » Wed Oct 24, 2012 11:24 pm

looks like they didn't make out.Guess they are zombie poop by now.
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Alpha Team, Part 1,2, and now 3

Post by Whiskey » Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:07 am

My computer went down. I may be taking what I have written here and starting over, unless I'm lucky.


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