Shhhhhhhh

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Spazzy
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Shhhhhhhh

Post by Spazzy » Thu Apr 27, 2017 8:27 am

You'll disturb the crickets...
Overheard at my USN retirement ceremony....
"So he's not a team player then?"
"You mean Spazz...? Hes not even a fan of the team."

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TacAir
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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by TacAir » Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:04 pm

OK, Spazz

You can help me here. I need a segment that showed where Roscoe had to take a major risk to bail out Fluffy. I need an ending (not THE ending, but an ending) - with several ways to go..... You can help.

Sunny Days, Scary nights

The weather had finally turned cool and my search for Dad had come up with Zero. Actually, minus Zero, as none of the folks in the ag communities where I stopped had even heard of my family. The Union is a big place, the Northern tier of communities are small, isolated and frankly none too friendly to out-of-towners.

I suppose being seen as rancid scooter trash, trash carrying an ugly dog around hadn't helped. By now, I was used to a chilly reception most anywhere I landed. But honest-to-John, some of these people were just…assholes. None of my worry, with a tank of fuel in Rosie, I could be shed of the worst of them. What did the bible say? Shake dust or some such thing.

To be fair, I didn't get hassled, but getting a full time cold shoulder could get unnerving over time. If I ever can find them, I wanted to drop a load of Ducats into their kitty. I was lucky enough to get some Skool time growing up, the younger kiddos would be lucky to have basic reading skills by now, given the time we were living in these days. It had been too many years since we broke up as a family, so they could be anywhere.

With the cool weather, it was time to head back South in an effort to find someplace warm I could hang with Fluffy. I don't need to work, I do need to find someplace off the wall where we could fade to black so to speak. Parts of the Settlement Lands are warm, have few people and are pretty laid back, in their own way. It was something to shoot for anyway.

Things were great until a pig pulled us over just outside of Moscow. Moscow, old Idaho. Land of industrial strength potatoes farms, big rivers and not too many people. So I thought. Waiting for another shakedown, I was mentally counting up my cash on hand when the oinker walked up. Hand on pistol, of course.

Having been down this road before, I used my standard opening line. "Is there a problem, Officer?" No snark, the dude had a piece. I didn't. Not at hand anyway.

"Maybe and maybe not, Citizen."

Not full on asshat, but not the normal shakedown opening either.

Pointing, he asked "Is that your dog?"
Fluffy had heard my alert word and burrowed his head into the tank bag. All you could see was his fuzzy butt. Made sense to me, flying along on a scoot, a normal dog would want to protect itself from the unrelenting wind blowing over the display screen as we traveled.

This stop was now officially off the charts. I'd never been asked about Fluffy, let along by a pig. I went to full polite mode in an instant. No sense on pissing this guy off.

"Yes, Sir. This is my dog. Is there a problem?"

"No. That is a no - if… I need to see your animal's last two vet reports, notarized certificate of inoculations and some kind of proof you haven't come up from the Oregon coast area." He smiled.

All of this took a few seconds to process. I should have processed some more before I opened my trap.

"What in the fuc..." came out before I was able to catch myself. "What is the function of all this paperwork, Officer? If you don't mind my asking. This is all very new to me."

Dude must have called for reinforcements before blue-lighting me. A second cruiser pulled up on the other side of the road as we talked. That pig stayed inside, for now.

"Good question, Citizen. There has been some trouble with rabies recently, traced back to the Oregon area. The local ranch owners are quite upset, as you can imagine."

Since the Ag Corp management types were willing to waste anyone poaching their Chow, these pigs must have had The Man halfway up their ass, if this was true. I still couldn't rule out a shakedown. The second pig, a possible witness, argued against that – for now.

"Well then, lucky for us, I've just come from the old oilfields area up North. I can show you a receipt for fuel I bought in Wynndel, just this morning." I always kept the last couple of fuel receipts, just in case the pigs claimed I was drive-away thief. I've had that tried more than once.

"Not good enough, Citizen. I need to see the vet papers." Now there was a hard edge to the tone – a bad sign. Okay, maybe time to pony up some dough.

"As you might imagine, Officer, that paperwork isn't something I normally carry. If there is a veterinarian in town…"

Now the piece was out of the holster, the second pig was climbing out of his rig. Two to one and I still didn't have a gat.

"I'm afraid not, Citizen. If you were alocal, maybe. But since you are from out of the area, we'll have to impound the animal. Once you bring the required paperwork, your animal can be released." He waited until pig number two was standing next to his rig, weapon out. Then he added, "You'll have two full days to produce the paperwork before the animal is destroyed and incinerated. I'm sure you can see that this situation is a matter of public health. "

The bastard smiled when he threw out, "No charge for the incineration, of course. Impound fees are 600 credits per day. Now, if you'll step away from your machine, I'll collect your animal…"

Shitshitshitshit…SHIT. I hate being jammed into an impossible situation. If they got a real good look at Fluffy, he was as good as dead. I could get my ass locked up as well for transporting a NEO.

With nothing to lose, I tossed out - "Look. Officer. Fluffy gets…upset around strangers. When he gets upset, he tends to..ahhh act out. I really don't want him getting hurt or to inconvenience you. Would it be possible to follow you into town and I put Fluffy into the kennel myself?" I started running my hand down the mutt's back, just to let him know I was still in the game.

From past experience, like in Fresno last winter, I know if he gets cornered, Fluffy would rip out their throats first chance he got. That would get us both shot. Being dead was always a bad ending.

Things hung in the balance - it seemed like forever. Finally, the oinker surprised me by saying "I don't see why not. You've been cooperative, Citizen. I appreciate your cooperation and I see that you are concerned for your dog." Then in a hard voice, he finished with, "Just ensure you follow me into town. If you don't, I can't be responsible for what could happen – to you or the dog."

"Not a problem, Officer. I can see that you are just doing your job."

In spite of my, our, good luck, all I'd managed to was to buy some time. How the hell was I going to get us out of this one?

*** *** ***
From the stench, the 'kennel' had to be located next to the local sewer processing station. The Ag Corps paid good money for humanure, but removing the stink came out of someone else's stack. The pig rolled up to a set of wire fence pens. No light poles, no nothing. I guess they didn't get many strays – those usually got potted on sight.

The entire time we rode in, I kept telling Fluffy again and again, "I'll get it sorted out, little dude, just be cool."

The oinker opened the gate and waved with a thumb for me to deposit Fluffy. I walked all the way to the end of the pen before setting my buddy down. "After dark, pay attention. That's when I'll have to make our move. Got it?" That netted a huff, so I stood to walk out.

"You forgot your little helmet." The oinker wasn't smiling, but at least his piece was still in the holster.

"Yeah. Look, it's something familiar to him. If he wears it now, he'll know I'll be back for him. He won't howl all night long if he has his helmet." I shrugged. "You know how it is…"

The cop was having none of it. "No, I don't. I have a cat at home."

That was when I noticed there were no food or water containers in the pens. These sons of bitches were just going to let any animal penned up go without. Heartless bastards.

"Hey, would it be okay if I leave Fluffy's water bowl with him? I mean, it is his…" When the cop nodded, I knew I now had a chance. It took a minute to fish the mutt's little bowl out of Rosie's bag. While I was doing that, I was able to stick an IR flasher to the inside of the bowl. I carried it and a water flask to the pen. It only took another minute to fill the bowl, flip out the IR emitter and retreat.

The pig shut the gate and made a show of locking up the pen using an oddball padlock Tapping the lock, the oinker made a big deal of telling me "Lock gets cut and an alarm comes in. So don't even think about it."

I couldn't trust myself to say anything, so I just nodded. Climbing onto Rosie, I saw Fluffy busy watering the gate before he walked back to the far end of the pen and lay down. He didn't respond when I waved, and that hurt just a bit as I rode off, two oinkers right behind.

I stopped at a gas and puke on the edge of town. Sure as rain, one of the pigs stopped and watched as I topped off Rosie and went inside to grab some eats. With bag in hand, I walked up to the cruiser. When the window hit bottom I said, "Thanks for making sure I didn't get lost. It's going to take a bit for me to make to Spokane and return with the vet paperwork. See ya day after tomorrow…"

Not waiting for a reply, I got on Rosie and left town, heading back north. The effer followed me until I hit the turnoff. Once I was headed west, he turned around. I had to assumed heading for home or the bar. I didn't care. Gone was all I worried about.

Getting back to fluffy would be dead simple. Getting back to Fluffy without going through town was a different problem. Leaving town, I considered setting fire to an empty building. This to draw off the cops as a way to ensure I would be alone when springing the mutt. Too risky, for too many reasons.


OK Spazz
Where do we go from here?
TacAir - I'd rather be a disappointed pessimist than a horrified optimist
**All my books ** some with a different view of the "PAW". Check 'em out.
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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by AeroRat » Thu Apr 27, 2017 11:51 pm

What if I don't wanna shhhhhhh? :?

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91Eunozs
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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by 91Eunozs » Fri Apr 28, 2017 6:11 pm

Fluffy!


Maybe pay someone to fake the paperwork?
Molon Latte...come & take our coffee order
Doctorr Fabulous wrote:... It's fun to play pretend, but this is the internet, and it's time to be serious.
zengunfighter wrote:... you don't want to blow a tranny in the middle of a pursuit...
woodsghost wrote:... A defensive gun without training is basically a talisman. It might ward off evil, but I wouldn't count on it.

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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by TacAir » Sat Apr 29, 2017 12:17 am

91Eunozs wrote:Fluffy!


Maybe pay someone to fake the paperwork?
Won't work. Roscoe has to stick his neck out to save the Rufster.....

Still waiting to hear from Spazz
TacAir - I'd rather be a disappointed pessimist than a horrified optimist
**All my books ** some with a different view of the "PAW". Check 'em out.
Adventures in rice storage//Mod your Esbit for better stability

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Spazzy
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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by Spazzy » Tue May 02, 2017 10:40 am

Just got back to the forum, give me a bit to ponder LoL, who knows maybe I'll actually come up with something. :D
Overheard at my USN retirement ceremony....
"So he's not a team player then?"
"You mean Spazz...? Hes not even a fan of the team."

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Spazzy
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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by Spazzy » Tue May 02, 2017 2:17 pm

Sent you a PM.
Overheard at my USN retirement ceremony....
"So he's not a team player then?"
"You mean Spazz...? Hes not even a fan of the team."

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Halfapint
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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by Halfapint » Tue May 02, 2017 4:12 pm

Spazzy wrote:Just got back to the forum, give me a bit to ponder LoL, who knows maybe I'll actually come up with something. :D
Welcome back! To bad our favorite fiction writers seem to have abandoned us! :(
JeeperCreeper wrote:I like huge dicks, Halfapint, so you are OK in my book.... hahaha
Spazzy wrote:Tell ya what... If Zombies attack and the world ends I'll hook tandem toddlers to a plow if it means I'll be able to eat...

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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by TacAir » Tue May 02, 2017 11:12 pm

For the record, Spazz came up with a wonderful bit that I will work into the second part. When I'm done, I'll post it up..
TacAir - I'd rather be a disappointed pessimist than a horrified optimist
**All my books ** some with a different view of the "PAW". Check 'em out.
Adventures in rice storage//Mod your Esbit for better stability

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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by AeroRat » Wed May 03, 2017 12:24 am

Halfapint wrote:
Spazzy wrote:
Welcome back! To bad our favorite fiction writers seem to have abandoned us! :(
The grand tragedy of having a job and obligations and stuff. Probably.

Or zombies.

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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by Spazzy » Wed May 03, 2017 5:46 am

Job and stuff, the stuff mostly being kidney stone surgery...
:gonk:
Overheard at my USN retirement ceremony....
"So he's not a team player then?"
"You mean Spazz...? Hes not even a fan of the team."

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91Eunozs
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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by 91Eunozs » Wed May 03, 2017 3:24 pm

Whatever y'all come up with, it should involve taking Rosie off some sweet jumps!
Molon Latte...come & take our coffee order
Doctorr Fabulous wrote:... It's fun to play pretend, but this is the internet, and it's time to be serious.
zengunfighter wrote:... you don't want to blow a tranny in the middle of a pursuit...
woodsghost wrote:... A defensive gun without training is basically a talisman. It might ward off evil, but I wouldn't count on it.

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Spazzy
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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by Spazzy » Thu Jun 08, 2017 7:11 am

Someone sprayed the yard and now even the crickets are dead...
Overheard at my USN retirement ceremony....
"So he's not a team player then?"
"You mean Spazz...? Hes not even a fan of the team."

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Halfapint
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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by Halfapint » Thu Jun 08, 2017 1:05 pm

Spazzy wrote:Someone sprayed the yard and now even the crickets are dead...
Careful or you'll wake the zombie crickets!
JeeperCreeper wrote:I like huge dicks, Halfapint, so you are OK in my book.... hahaha
Spazzy wrote:Tell ya what... If Zombies attack and the world ends I'll hook tandem toddlers to a plow if it means I'll be able to eat...

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Spazzy
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Re: Shhhhhhhh

Post by Spazzy » Tue Jun 13, 2017 2:51 pm

Halfapint wrote:
Spazzy wrote:Someone sprayed the yard and now even the crickets are dead...
Careful or you'll wake the zombie crickets!

At least they will only want your grass clippings... :mrgreen:
Overheard at my USN retirement ceremony....
"So he's not a team player then?"
"You mean Spazz...? Hes not even a fan of the team."

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