The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Zombie or Post Apocalyptic themed fiction/stories.

Moderator: ZS Global Moderators

Sheriff McClelland
* * *
Posts: 596
Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:19 pm

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Sheriff McClelland » Sat Jan 18, 2014 4:18 pm

Is he dead ...
"Yeah, they're dead. They're all messed up. "

User avatar
MaconCJ7
ZS Donor
ZS Donor
Posts: 2251
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2011 7:28 am

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by MaconCJ7 » Sat Jan 18, 2014 4:29 pm

I was hoping Lucas would show up with Michael in tow, but that didn't happen. As banged up as he was coupled with the loss of blood, I find it difficult to think he could have pulled himself out of the cab, gotten through the fire, and out of the house before the collapse. At least not without making much noise and alerting the crew to his escape.
Image

User avatar
Halfapint
* * * * *
Posts: 3967
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:41 pm
Favorite Zombie Movies: all?
Location: Central Cascadia

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Halfapint » Sat Jan 18, 2014 6:24 pm

But..... But..... It's Michael.... He probably pulled himself out unable to make much noise because if the RDs around. Crawled to a tree nearby and fell asleep. He'd be safe from the zombies because the probably think he is one. So in the next update Michael will be just fine, he'll have regained his strength and got him self up to the hill with Mundy and the girls.

There I wrote the next chapter for you TB. Now elaborate on it. Or else.

Don't be the next JRR Martin :p
JeeperCreeper wrote:I like huge dicks, Halfapint, so you are OK in my book.... hahaha
Spazzy wrote:Tell ya what... If Zombies attack and the world ends I'll hook tandem toddlers to a plow if it means I'll be able to eat...

WendyPlains
*
Posts: 93
Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 8:06 am

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by WendyPlains » Sat Jan 18, 2014 7:43 pm

Ok so you seem to have killed off Michael and you definitely destroyed Goodnight House. *sigh*. I hate this modern idea of killing off the main character that we have followed so faithfully for so long. Even though this is the best story on this site I will definitely won't be as interested as I was before if this proves to be the case. I like Kat and Mundy et al but there will be a great chunk missing without Michael! :?

You're still a fantastic writer though!

User avatar
Tinderbox
* * *
Posts: 324
Joined: Wed May 15, 2013 2:56 pm

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Tinderbox » Sat Jan 18, 2014 9:31 pm

Thanks to everyone who has posted comments:
Mr. E. Monkey Groucho DTyra Nancy1340 GotMak selen
Murphman fourpaws the BOSS Boondock Manliest DannusMaximus WendyPlains Sheriff McClelland
dustycanuck Jsimmonsgr ZMace URBAN ASSAULT Qasim jeepinbandtrider Redsky Spazzy
TheOldDopePeddler fred.greek Langenator deadcat7382 Zimmy Mister Dark Yeti teotwaki
Okelly complex57 Guiltyofbeingtight Barnabus MaconCJ7 Steve Nuns Shellyann36
Azraelsjudgement vthunter Deathstalkertwo techmonkey DarkandShiny Gun_Nut_2k1 maldon007
jdavidboyd DAVE KI mariposa goodoleboy45 Zxc zephyrkyuubi dogbane dohnuts Delsaw
Halfapint goofygurl LarryCentaur Odd Man Out QuickLBZ 91Eunozs thebigstick airdrop
Diesel2 Aikibiker chenessfan mr_slappy75 JackOfVA Remedy Barr Akin synergyperf
Shadowfell shadows on the trees stalag17 Nature_Lover osagemarine KentuckyRifleman stickle
akraven KYZHunters Lurch ...

...and anyone else who has posted who I might have missed – Thank you. You’ve prompted me to go farther with this story than I otherwise would have. Thanks also to those who’ve read along without posting.

I'll call this the end of Part One. Now I've got to go back and smooth out (chisel away at???) the many rough edges.
"...the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire..."

Sheriff McClelland
* * *
Posts: 596
Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:19 pm

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Sheriff McClelland » Sat Jan 18, 2014 9:58 pm

Very fine job and thank you for a great ride ! :clap:
"Yeah, they're dead. They're all messed up. "

akraven
* * *
Posts: 305
Joined: Sat Aug 15, 2009 5:13 pm

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by akraven » Sat Jan 18, 2014 10:14 pm

TB are you thinking of publishing this? I think you should give it a try since you have done a great job. Are you planning on a part two that continues this story with these characters?
You have some characters you could develop and keep it going. Of course maybe you could even have them find Michael where he crawled out of the truck like Halfapint said :wink:
Either way I will look forward to whatever you decide to do. Thank you again!

User avatar
Mr. E. Monkey
* * * * *
Posts: 9106
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2007 11:38 am
Location: Utah

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Mr. E. Monkey » Sat Jan 18, 2014 10:26 pm

*deep breath*


Whooo. That was a hell of a ride, Tinderbox. A hell of a ride.

I've got mixed feelings about Michael's death. As much as most of us are probably not happy about it, I'm sure it didn't really come as much of a surprise. He was just reaching the end of his rope too quickly to hold on. And sure, he's been lucky, awfully lucky, a number of times that he probably should have died, and you might have been able to write in another miracle, but I think it would have been a disservice to your story, and to Michael, to make him some sort of death-defying superhuman. I think that realistic approach, the honesty that sometimes the good guys die, is part of what made your story great. Your characters are believable, and feel like real people. Had you written that at the last moment, Michael found the strength of "ten grinches, plus two," that would have been lost.

We will miss Michael. His story was the story of Goodnight house, which, sadly, has come to a close. But you have promised moar (calling this part one implies that there will be a part two, after all), so we will eagerly look forward to a continuation of your story. We will lurk. We will re-read. We will wait patiently.

For now. :twisted:
SMoAF wrote:'Tis better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
Beowolf wrote:Disasters are terrifying, but people are stupid.
wee drop o' bush wrote:THE EVIL MONKEY HAS WON THE INTERNETS! :lol: Image
Image

selen
* *
Posts: 118
Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2012 4:07 am

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by selen » Sun Jan 19, 2014 4:37 am

TB you are a very talented writer.Please publish this story because I would really like to have a copy of it:)We are looking forward to part two:)And Thank you very much for this great story :clap: :clap: :clap: :D

vthunter
* *
Posts: 108
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 10:12 pm
Favorite Zombie Movies: original "Night of the Living Dead"
Resident Evil series
Zombieland

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by vthunter » Sun Jan 19, 2014 10:08 am

WOW, just wow!!

What a classy way to bring Part One to a close!!!!! :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

I hope you have the energy and drive to continue this story in one direction or another.

As Mr. E. Monkey noted, "sometimes the good guys do die"...., and, even more so, that not every path is always so neatly tied up in 'real life', leaving doubt and uncertainty in its wake.

Bravo, TB, BRAVO, for a believable and tragic but, still hopeful, ending of one story, leading into another series of adventures for Lucas, Lux, Kat, Mundy & even Hya. You gave all those characters enough depth, without bogging the reader down, to spin up quite a few avenues to take your loyal readership onto further journeys, for LOTS more fun & games for us all!!

THANK YOU!! WHAT A GREAT RIDE................ all the way!! Hope you'll come back & give us MOAR!!!!!

User avatar
Halfapint
* * * * *
Posts: 3967
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 5:41 pm
Favorite Zombie Movies: all?
Location: Central Cascadia

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Halfapint » Sun Jan 19, 2014 12:01 pm

Well..... Since you confirmed it I'll say wow...... This is perhaps one if the best stories I've read in... Well.... Ever. Rework it, find a publisher, and get this to print. I'll buy a couple copies!

You've killed off a number of fantastic characters, which keeps the story rolling and gives it a bit if reality, showing that the characters aren't Rambos. Just ordinary people making the best of one shitty situation.

Every place you took us was perfectly described, you set the scene magically. From good night house, to the lake with military plane, to the resort with the models. You give great details but it still reads smooth.

I can't wait for the next installment, and if you have any tweaking or story updates please post them here. You have one hell of a loyal readership!

Thanks again for the ride it was great fun!

Moar!
JeeperCreeper wrote:I like huge dicks, Halfapint, so you are OK in my book.... hahaha
Spazzy wrote:Tell ya what... If Zombies attack and the world ends I'll hook tandem toddlers to a plow if it means I'll be able to eat...

User avatar
TODP
* *
Posts: 254
Joined: Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:53 pm
Location: intermediate

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by TODP » Sun Jan 19, 2014 2:07 pm

Wait... it's over? Time to re-read the entire thing then.

Thank you, Tinderbox. That's great entertainment right there.
I am, and ever will be, a white-socks, pocket-protector, nerdy engineer -- born under the second law of thermodynamics, steeped in the steam tables, in love with free-body diagrams, transformed by Laplace, and propelled by compressible flow.
Neil Armstrong (2000) The Engineered Century. The Bridge 30-1: 14-18

ambulanceman
ZS Member
ZS Member
Posts: 79
Joined: Thu Jan 02, 2014 1:03 am
Location: Salem, VA

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by ambulanceman » Sun Jan 19, 2014 4:05 pm

Not done reading yet but I just wanted to say I really love this story. And I wanted to share my favorite scene so far..

"As night descended, the small brushfires beyond the fence merged to become a spark-spitting blaze that encircled much of the house, silhouetting the frenzy of the dead. Lucas sat hunched forward, watching it all, his eyes buried deep in the vision of hell before him, but his thoughts were a thousand miles away."

Love that imagery!

Samson101
ZS Member
ZS Member
Posts: 175
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 7:21 pm

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Samson101 » Sun Jan 19, 2014 4:09 pm

great story! publish it, id buy it to read again!
I do hope you continue to write, following Lux and the other group

osagemarine
*
Posts: 73
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2013 8:04 pm

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by osagemarine » Sun Jan 19, 2014 11:19 pm

WOW!

Murphman
ZS Member
ZS Member
Posts: 922
Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2013 4:10 pm

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Murphman » Mon Jan 20, 2014 8:27 am

I have loved every minute of this. Thanks you.
"If you are prepped for pandemic flu, you are more than prepped for Ebola. And pandemic flu is hella more likely, that's the one that scares me, personally." - Duodecima...and she's a freaking doctor. What are you?

User avatar
Barnabus
* * *
Posts: 446
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:05 pm
Location: Jefferson County, Alabama

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Barnabus » Mon Jan 20, 2014 4:39 pm

when you look for a publisher, send them a link to this thread so they can see how much everyone liked it. Also, let us know what pen Name you are going to use.
"If you are prepared for a shambling horde of walking corpses that are trying to eat you alive, you will be prepared for just about anything."
Image

mariposa
* * *
Posts: 474
Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2011 11:57 pm
Location: Texas

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by mariposa » Mon Jan 20, 2014 9:16 pm

Great story, although I will miss Michael. I guess Mundy has become the leader. I hope Kat's face heals well and Hya is able to stay with the group from now on.

User avatar
KentuckyRifleman
* * *
Posts: 330
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 5:57 pm
Location: Kentucky

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by KentuckyRifleman » Tue Jan 21, 2014 11:57 am

Great story! I like the ending - gives closure on Goodnight House and a preview of the adventures for the survivors.
Insert clever quote here

Manliest
* * *
Posts: 513
Joined: Thu Dec 23, 2010 9:35 pm
Favorite Zombie Movies: Zombieland.

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Manliest » Tue Jan 21, 2014 2:40 pm

Publish it now so I can buy it.

If you start writing the sequel, perhaps it'll distract me from coming to avenge the death of a fictional character.

User avatar
Mister Dark
ZS Member
ZS Member
Posts: 1106
Joined: Sun May 02, 2010 7:09 pm
Location: Midlands SC

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Mister Dark » Tue Jan 21, 2014 7:32 pm

I dont want it to be over. But, like all great stories, it has to end.


Great ending, to a GREAT STORY!


Thank you.

User avatar
Groucho
* * *
Posts: 324
Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2010 3:10 pm
Favorite Zombie Movies: original Dawn of the Dead
Location: MO

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Groucho » Fri Jan 24, 2014 2:18 am

A marvelous story. I enjoyed it very much.
Three men and a woman trapped in a building, send help. If you can't send help send two more women. Groucho Marx-Duck Soup

USAF SP 72-77,US Army reserves 84-92

User avatar
Steve Nuns
*
Posts: 34
Joined: Fri Jan 28, 2011 1:24 pm
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by Steve Nuns » Fri Jan 24, 2014 6:30 am

Thank you so much, TB. I have loved reading this story and look forward to seeing it in print.

Michael's (apparent) death was disappointing but it added some realism. I am glad that Mundy, Kat and Hya are still okay - and Lucas too.

A sequel would be amazing. In the meantime I will have to be satisfied with watching The Living Dead - which is great but not as great as the Dead at Destitute Mountain.

Till next time.

User avatar
bodyparts
* *
Posts: 162
Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2014 9:25 am
Favorite Zombie Movies: land of the dead
Location: sw , mo

Re: The Dead at Destitute Mountain

Post by bodyparts » Sat Jan 25, 2014 9:38 am

long time lurker , first time poster . had get registered so could say" Tinderbox thank you for a great story !!"

Post Reply

Return to “Fiction”