Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Zombie or Post Apocalyptic themed fiction/stories.

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Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Fri May 08, 2020 10:41 am

I've spent some time on the Suspicious 0bservers web site. Ben is a man driven by a vision and it shows. With 400K subscribers, he has clearly hit a nerve.

While the Prologue may look like the classic "The Bomb" meme - it is NOT.

Keep reading,

I'm interested in the hive mind take on a possible future - one staring us in the face....I've found many here at ZS have active imaginations and value their take.

More to follow as more of the story is posted.

DEK
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by Wunderhund » Fri May 08, 2020 5:35 pm

This is a great start. I always love the details you put into your stories.

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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by Halfapint » Fri May 08, 2020 6:05 pm

Didn’t see the original sorry posted. Going to try and read it all tonight. Looking forward to more stores of yours Tacair
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Sat May 09, 2020 10:43 am

Wunderhund wrote:
Fri May 08, 2020 5:35 pm
This is a great start. I always love the details you put into your stories.
I do a lot of research for my books and this one is no different. The tax changes in the '50s to c4reate "non-profits' is fact - that Umba Tomb had anything to do with it is of course story telling.

Ditto for the Swiss shelter complexes. There are many "Cold War" era bunkers in the Eu that have been privatized it is mind numbing. In the US - not so much. About all we see in NA is the odd Titan silo or even older Atlas system silos coming on the market.

The US gov't never really spent any money on CD for shelters. And very little in the way of honest education for that matter. I will have to say the FedGov publication "Nuclear War Survival Skills" or NWSS, by Cresson Kearny, is an anomaly in that desert of information. That it wasn't published until 1079 is IMO, criminal.
As a kid during the Cuban Missile Crisis I was scared to death - as were most. This kind of information would have gone a long way to ease at least some of that 'terror'.

Anyway, this story looks that the next real threat and tries to examine what will lead up to the disaster and what might come after.

It looks at a shadowy group "The A and E Foundation" who trys to ensure the continuation of human knowledge in spite of the ultimate worst case scenario.

I draw fro Ben Davidson's work (Suspicious 0bservers et al) and other authors such as Talbott/Thirhhill (Thunderbolts of the Gods) and even Graham Hancock and his works covering Gobekli Tepe and "lost civilizations"

Mix in some solid, if conventional, anthropology publications, such as those for Buttermilk Creek TX and I get a fun mix of real stuff, speculation and storytelling. .All great fun for me.

That our planet's magnetosphere is growing weaker is not in dispute. That major solar eruptions will and have occurred is also not in doubt.

Mix a pole flip and a solar flare and everything is up for grabs....While this type of 'cataclysm' story has been done before - I think the "after' part is what will be different.

I hope other will come along for the ride. Besides, this is something fun to do on lock-down....since I've already put out a "killer virus" story several years ago, right here....
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Sat May 09, 2020 11:10 am

The first four chapters have been posted.

The story is basically in two parts - before and after.

Looking for comments on characters, development and if I've plunked too many meme in a row on this one.
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by 91Eunozs » Sun May 10, 2020 7:02 pm

Nice! Great to see your work again!

Quite a few typos, and the transitions between “scenes” so far seem a little abrupt/herky-jerky, but the tale and character development is first rate...great dialogue too. A couple times where I was afraid you were going to run down a rabbit hole (during Kyle’s “interview” when they were flying out to the ranch), but you saved it! LOL

Nice work...
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Sun May 10, 2020 7:57 pm

91Eunozs wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 7:02 pm
Nice! Great to see your work again!

Quite a few typos, and the transitions between “scenes” so far seem a little abrupt/herky-jerky, but the tale and character development is first rate...great dialogue too. A couple times where I was afraid you were going to run down a rabbit hole (during Kyle’s “interview” when they were flying out to the ranch), but you saved it! LOL

Nice work...
Yeah, I prolly went a bit overboard on the LSA stuff on the flight out. And Yeah - typos, I wrk up as much as I can then go back for the typos and the odd missing words (and to that) to fill in.

What scenes do you see the transition as too sudden?

thx
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by 91Eunozs » Sun May 10, 2020 10:13 pm

TacAir wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 7:57 pm
91Eunozs wrote:
Sun May 10, 2020 7:02 pm
Nice! Great to see your work again!

Quite a few typos, and the transitions between “scenes” so far seem a little abrupt/herky-jerky, but the tale and character development is first rate...great dialogue too. A couple times where I was afraid you were going to run down a rabbit hole (during Kyle’s “interview” when they were flying out to the ranch), but you saved it! LOL

Nice work...
Yeah, I prolly went a bit overboard on the LSA stuff on the flight out. And Yeah - typos, I wrk up as much as I can then go back for the typos and the odd missing words (and to that) to fill in.

What scenes do you see the transition as too sudden?

thx
Just the change from the prologue to chapter one... You fill in the blanks nicely with your rather detailed (in a very good way) character development, but there’s little context to the meeting with the President. Not a problem, I just personally prefer a bit of setting the stage before the act begins.

Can totally see Trump in that scene btw! Great work with the platters of burgers!

The move to the “present” with the eloquent/succinct line “Two children and a lifetime later” even though more stylistically abrupt was actually not as jarring to me as the shift from the prologue to chapter one...primarily because I felt like I knew the characters a bit already and it was just a move forward in time.

That really is a great transition as the lead-in line for a separate chapter btw...the soul of wit and all. So much said and implied in just a few words.

The typos were almost all word substitutions that a plain spell check wouldn’t catch...I do that a lot when typing on an iPad or if autocorrect is on. Hate the new iPad update in that regard btw.

Regardless, great beginning to another great tale...keep it coming!
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Mon May 11, 2020 12:19 pm

Spell checkers is not your friend on Word 2010....

Thanks for the kind words.

The prologue to present day is a bit of a jump, but then, prologues tend to be stand alone intros to a story line.

The two children and a lifetime later - this was not the original bit - I had "Fours years later" but then the math with the kiddos didn't work, unless Lucy was already very pregnant. That could have worked, but it was easier to just change the subtitle...

The next set of story will jump ahead about 200 years and I'm still struggling with how to make that transition less abrupt - while avoiding a "Meanwhile, back the at Ranch" sorta prologue. I've targeted this at about 50K words more or less and as such, am forced to take some short cuts.

At least I have the cover art this time...
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by 91Eunozs » Mon May 11, 2020 7:24 pm

Well, there’s your problem... A TacAir story needs to be At least an order of magnitude longer! :lol:

Going that far into the future will be very interesting... A Canticle for Leibowitz-like timeframe for the follow-on installments perhaps?
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Tue May 12, 2020 6:41 pm

No - I want the 'future' to be a look at what might evolve as a society (or entire civilization) is crushed and the survivors come out into the larger world.

This is why I specially had reference to both GobeliTepe (S Turkey) and to the Amazon dark earth. The Terra Preta "could" have happened naturally - after all, the Great Plains was thousands of sq miles of "rich dark earth" a natural Terra Preta. Bu tthe bones and pottery fragments say otherwise.

So, in this future the "graybeards" are keepers of what's left of civilization. They tell wild story/fairy tales of men flying, and even walking on the Moon!

After 200 hundred years - after the massive fires caused by the induced eddy currents, the big cities might look like

Image

just graveyards and bits & pieces left....
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by 91Eunozs » Wed May 13, 2020 9:44 am

Very cool... Now I have to start some research of my own to build a better framework for the mental pictures I'm already painting. :lol:

What a great twist, and dare I say theory of our own history.

Really looking forward to moar now!
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Thu May 14, 2020 6:33 pm

https://www.youtube.com/user/Suspicious ... d?filter=2

I just taking the stuff Ben has been putting our for time now and drawing some (to me) logical conclusions on this will turn out - and for the vast majority if Humans. the answer is "badly. Very badly"

I may have to relocate to MO to live underground...
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Fri May 15, 2020 10:15 am

Chapter 5 posted.

Call this 'the end of the beginning if you like.

We meet Ric, Kennik and Oscar, the graybeard. The notion of an Omo - Odd aAn Out is explored.

That Ric is an Omo drives the coming story line,.

over to you for comments.

dek/DEK
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by FlashDaddy » Fri May 15, 2020 5:12 pm

I love Sunburn! :clap: :clap: :clap:

Just thought I get that out, up front. The first chapters had a small time jump, but Chapter 5 blows us way out 10 generations, which is like what, 200 years? I liked the characters in Chapter 4 and I hope we get to time travel back and see how they did in the early years after the initial burn(s?).

The Chapter 5 characters are pretty well fleshed out. I really enjoyed the social engineering aspects and that the grandfather of all had foreseen many problems and had planned for them, by some kind of as yet unspecified instruction manual. Family clans sound like a reasonable development a historically correct for isolated farming communities. I was amazed that two hundred years out the main machine in use is apparently a wheelbarrow. Maybe we will see more in the ranger's cave. Without an manufacturing, mining, drilling or refining, it would be hard to keep making electricity, or anything, after 200 years. My solar cells seem to wear out after ten years max.

The dialogue is fun, as English has had a few changes in how sentences are structured, over the long elapsed time. It must have been fun to decide how to create the new sentence structures.

And life is all about farming and having a family? No mention yet of the blacksmith who must be making and repairing the barrows, tampers, shovels, hoes, etc. It is just the first chapter for this new world, so you are only whetting our appetite, most likely. Maybe there is such a huge warehouse full of tools and simple machines that the graybeards trade them for food. Nobody seems to be carrying a weapon or hunting tool. So no outside enemies or predators left. The clans could have had had a big battle, but did not. So it must take a pretty big problem to get to the point of fighting. No police mentioned, so everyone seems to be policing their own folks.

So, in short, I am going to be very happy to see more chapters, especially any that time jump back to the burn. I want to learn more about this new world. I wish I knew enough about writing to give you some constructive criticism.
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Fri May 15, 2020 5:56 pm

Now at a full keyboard.

Thanks for the kind words

Let me comment on some of you points.

About the wheel barrow - at some point you will see they are two types -, long-haul cargo barrows of the "Chinese wheel barrow" and the more conventional Western type. Here is an excellent article that describes the So-called Chinese versions as a "half cart" in response to a deteriorating road system in post-Imperial feudal Chines. https://www.lowtechmagazine.com/2011/12 ... arrow.html

Image
the long haul cargo version were often fitted with sails.and operated as 'trains' to move grains and such long distances.

About the language used - you will se an even biiger change when Ric runs across his first non-village humans.
The reason English - at least in North America and Canada seems faily standard is IMO - owing to networked mass media - radio and television. Networked broadcast radio make the first and biggest impact back in the late 20 and 40s in eradicating so-called "regional dialects' found in English speakers of the time. People of rural Appalachia spake in entirely different sentence structures and used words with - to them - had different meaning.
When - or even if - you learn to read and write before wide-spread implementation of publicly funded schools the most common book used to teach from was the family Bible. I see that even just 50 years on paper will have all but disappeared unless special, acid free, "archival' paper is used for a publication. The maps Ric references are etched into titanium sheets, an idea I freely admit I ripped off from the co-called golden bible of the mormons.
You still see the remnants today of regional dialects when referring to food items - shake vs frappe and soda vs pop or even RCcola/Nehigh

About the blacksmith - such a person would need:
* a venue that could support the specialty - enough foodstuffs to support a non-producer.
* meta. With no mines, or smelters, where would this come from? Even if scrap steel was procured from the remains of urban areas - how would the Smith know how to deal with the multitude of alloys - some of which are dangerous when heated...
* coal or charcoal. The background for this is that massive fires swept the world owing to a massive solar event, then very high UVA/UVB radiation levels killed out when plant life that might have survived.

There is evidence of Contentment-wide wild fires in the past - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Younger_D ... hypothesis
to continue - where would the Smithy get his tools and so on?

The story is progged at about 50K words, too short to do anything but explore the notions of language and cultural changes in two villages brought about by the Burn.

Not to worry, just as the World of the Chernyi started as a 750 word dialog exercise, and now is 6 books (with three spin-offs in the wings) - this offers a new Universe of possibilities. After all, didn't Uriah fund different Seeds in the Eu and NA areas?

Again, thanks for reading along and sharing your time to make comments. All are quite valuable to me in crafting these stories.

dkr/DKR
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Sat May 16, 2020 11:19 am

PING to flag prior post.
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by Albert » Sun May 17, 2020 6:18 pm

As for the Cuban Missile Crisis, and information to relieve some of the terror, we came much closer to global thermonuclear war than most people realize during that crisis. Basically, it was avoided through shear dumb luck and an accident. One of the Soviet submarines, B-59, had been detected by the American fleet, and the Americans started dropping training depth charges, to let the submarine know that it had been discovered. The captain of the Soviet submarine was convinced that the depth charges were real, and decided to fire their "special" weapon at the American fleet, a T-5 torpedo, which was tipped with a 5 kilo-ton nuclear warhead. The political officer on board the submarine concurred. If the torpedo had been launched, a large portion of the American fleet would have been destroyed, and would, almost certainly, have prompted a nuclear response from the Americans.

However, Captain (later Vice Admiral) Vasily Arkhipov was the submarine flotillas commander, and was aboard B-59. As such, the captain of B-59 was required to get his permission to launch the "special" weapon, and Arkhipov refused to grant permission, thus, very probably preventing a nuclear WW3. By some accounts, Arkhipov wasn't supposed to have been on B-59, but, rather, was supposed to have been on another submarine in the flotilla, but had been delayed arriving at the naval yard, such that the submarine he was supposed to have been on had already sailed, and he took a position on B-59 instead. If he hadn't been on B-59, then Captain Valentin Grigorievitch Savitsky, almost certainly, would have launched the special weapon, and ignited a nuclear WW3.

Meanwhile, the Americans were so sure that a nuclear war was imminent that a friend I used to work with had spent the 13 days of the missile crisis locked in an underground bunker, while refining equations of orbits for nuclear warhead, as more detailed targeting information became available.

So, yeah, the pucker factor was a LOT higher than most people realized.

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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by 91Eunozs » Sun May 17, 2020 8:38 pm

Great addition... and concur on the fun to read dialogue! Where can I find me one of them Cougars?

Oh yeah, she’s sitting in her leather recliner across the room from me! :lol:
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Mon May 18, 2020 9:10 am

So, not an Omo, but a DOM? (dirty old man)
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by FlashDaddy » Tue May 19, 2020 3:17 pm

Would love to see Chapter Six!

I decided to read some of your other stuff while I’m waiting. Yesterday I got done reading First Strike!. Now I’m reading Going Home. It looks like a terrific series.

Still, reading Sunburn’s Chapter Six would be nice.
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Tue May 19, 2020 10:02 pm

Spent all weekend doing gardening stuff. Potatoes won’t wait.
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by TacAir » Wed May 20, 2020 10:24 pm

FlashDaddy

Thanks for getting the books!

You might want to try the Fisher People next. Set on the Gulf coast, it has a lot of action on the water + a lot of Texas History thrown in.

dkr/DKR
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Re: Sunburn COMMENT Thread

Post by FlashDaddy » Tue May 26, 2020 6:22 pm

Still reading book two of the fantastic Chernyi series. But still thinking about Sunburn. The current chapter ends with:

“So, you wish to continue to the cave of the Rangers?"
"Lead on, I follow".”

And I keep thinking about what the cave of the Rangers will be like. There will be more metal maps, maybe some metal books, from practical subjects like farming, engineering and genetics, to be sure, since we see these being practiced. Did any nonfiction make it? Shakespeare? Religious texts of any kind?

Will the cave have power? Probably not. But maybe some well designed, pre-burn lighting, like quartz tubes through the rock, bringing in daylight. I wonder what they use for lights? No animals seen yet, so no animal fat to burn. Bees needed for bees wax. Plant oil? Maybe. We know they at least have apple trees, so maybe just wood fires.

What will the new ranger mission involve? Seems like heading out to see what’s out there, perhaps completing his brothers mission. Or maybe something more interesting has popped up in the intervening years? I’m sure we will find out ... when we find out.

I’ve now watched a few videos, including a TED Talk and also read about Gobekli Tepe. Really mysterious and fascinating to be so far out of how we assumed civilization came into being. So it’s not like I need another chapter of Sunburn. Wait, I do. I really do.

Edot fur spalling arror
- Flash

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