The Worst Tanks ever made

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Which Tank is the worst for it's time period

1. The Czar's Tricycle
1
11%
2.The Turretless Wonder
1
11%
3. The Fallout swimmer
3
33%
4. The Simpleton
0
No votes
5. The Reverse Zippo
1
11%
6. I will ride inside, you pull
3
33%
 
Total votes: 9

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The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by The Twizzler » Thu Nov 17, 2016 8:02 pm

So these are tanks that were actually built. Some saw fighting and some did not but all had made it past the drawing board at least.
1. The WW1 Russian Lebedenko Tank made in 1915. It was slow and to vulnerable even by WW1 standards. There was at least one made before it was scrapped after the Russian Civil War
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2.Gefechtsfeld tank(actual name is much longer)- made during the cold war 1974-1976 would have been used as a tank destroyer. It looks formidable but you can just crab walk your way to safety, no turrent. The barrels were also part of the side armor and even an Rpg hit on the side would render that side's barrel inoperable. This vs T-72 :shock:
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3. Chrysler VT8 Tank- USA-1950-56 It was a submersible tank and it was powered by a miniaturized nuclear reactor. It does however look cool.
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4.Bob Semple Tank- New Zealand -1940. Wow! This is the only tank to come from New Zealand I am aware of. It had no large bore gun but six .303 machine guns. It was also made from corrugated iron. Also it had a very high center of Gravity.
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5. St Chemonnd Tank-French WW1 tank 1916(?)- This tank got stuck a lot the font end overhangs the tracks by a lot (remember no mans land is full of mud, holes, trenches). The armor was light and since it was gasoline powered and the gas tanks were thinly armored and you got stuck a lot well you get the picture. This is the only tank taht performs significantly better if driven in reverse. Ironically the French later did just that and used them as quite decent resupply/transport vehicles.
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6. Izhorah Plant Point Tank- Russian Russo-Finish War tank -1939-40- 1 7.62 machine gun or a PTRD Anti Tank Rifle. Speed- As fast as you can pull it. Used in battle with poor results.
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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by quazi » Thu Nov 17, 2016 8:58 pm

The Twizzler wrote:2.Gefechtsfeld tank(actual name is much longer)- made during the cold war 1974-1976 would have been used as a tank destroyer. It looks formidable but you can just crab walk your way to safety, no turrent. The barrels were also part of the side armor and even an Rpg hit on the side would render that side's barrel inoperable. This vs T-72 :shock:
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Isn't no turret and shitty side armor the norm for a tank destroyer? Are you nominating it for worst because it was produced in an era where ATGMs had already made tank destroyers obsolete?

I don't really know much about tanks.

I do know that I don't want to have to drag one around.

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by The Twizzler » Thu Nov 17, 2016 11:13 pm

The problem was it could be taken out with a crew armed with RPG-7's which during the cold war the Soviets were sure to have. During the cold war the Soviets already had a huge advantage in tanks compared to the West. T-72 tanks would have been streaming through the Fulda Gap and would have mopped the floor with this supposed tank destroyer. It belongs in an earlier age and goes to show how far behind Germany had fallen after WW2. A good comparison might be the UK in the 30's vs Germany in the 30's. The British due to economic problems, imperial problems, and lack of domestic will had fallen way behind in air and land war material.



quazi wrote:
The Twizzler wrote:2.Gefechtsfeld tank(actual name is much longer)- made during the cold war 1974-1976 would have been used as a tank destroyer. It looks formidable but you can just crab walk your way to safety, no turrent. The barrels were also part of the side armor and even an Rpg hit on the side would render that side's barrel inoperable. This vs T-72 :shock:
Image
Isn't no turret and shitty side armor the norm for a tank destroyer? Are you nominating it for worst because it was produced in an era where ATGMs had already made tank destroyers obsolete?

I don't really know much about tanks.

I do know that I don't want to have to drag one around.
"Oh Bother!" said Pooh, as he drew his dagger...

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by flybynight » Fri Nov 18, 2016 5:31 pm

I like em all. Even the anchor tank. I could drag it around behind my tractor. How cool would that be in the front yard ?
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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by raptor » Fri Nov 18, 2016 6:08 pm

I am going to go with the Chrysler VT8 Tank as the worst for the simple reason that they should have known better by then.
What could possible go wrong with a nuclear reactor in a tank getting shot at by other tanks?

The St Chemonnd Tank was early design and the german version was not much better. Reboot and try again.

Russian Lebedenko Tank is one of the WTF designs that looks like the designer was inspired by Jules Verne. I am not even sure it is a tank.

The Bob Semple and Izhorah Plant Point Tank were expedient "better than nothing" type designs. They were making due with what they had on hand though they were not likely to be effective at anything except building morale.

So that leaves the Chrysler VT8 Tank and the Gefechtsfeld tank. A nuclear powered drive train in a floating tank IMO is what has me nominating it for worst tank ever. I will bet the Gefechtsfeld tank at least had a functioning drive train.

It makes me think of this meme:
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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by quazi » Fri Nov 18, 2016 6:29 pm

raptor wrote:Russian Lebedenko Tank is one of the WTF designs that looks like the designer was inspired by Jules Verne. I am not even sure it is a tank.
I thought of Jules Verne when I saw the picture as well.

I know it was made for fighting the Germans, but looking at it got me thinking about its possible use as a psychological weapon to keep the serfs and kulaks in line. I mean, imagine if you were a rural farmer used to doing everything with horses and oxen and then that monstrosity rolls through your village. It would probably be taller than most of the houses. :shock:

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by absinthe beginner » Fri Nov 18, 2016 6:38 pm

I suppose Mexican cartel narco-tanks don't count, though they look distinctly Mad Max....

http://www.businessinsider.com/features ... nks-2016-1

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by flybynight » Fri Nov 18, 2016 7:34 pm

quazi wrote:
raptor wrote:Russian Lebedenko Tank is one of the WTF designs that looks like the designer was inspired by Jules Verne. I am not even sure it is a tank.
I thought of Jules Verne when I saw the picture as well.

I know it was made for fighting the Germans, but looking at it got me thinking about its possible use as a psychological weapon to keep the serfs and kulaks in line. I mean, imagine if you were a rural farmer used to doing everything with horses and oxen and then that monstrosity rolls through your village. It would probably be taller than most of the houses. :shock:

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by quazi » Fri Nov 18, 2016 7:38 pm

I guess H.G. Wells is appropriate as well. :lol:

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by raptor » Fri Nov 18, 2016 8:16 pm

quazi wrote:I guess H.G. Wells is appropriate as well. :lol:
I agree...that said it is still a WTF were thinking kind of machine. That and how much voldka did the person approving the final design consume. :lol:

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by flybynight » Fri Nov 18, 2016 8:27 pm

I still can't get over that sled tank. I can just imagine my wife pulling me around the yard behind the tractor while I shout out Поверните налево, вперед товарищи!!!!. Or I could park it out by the gate with KEEP OFF THE GRASS sign. So cool the possibilities are endless
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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by quazi » Fri Nov 18, 2016 8:34 pm

flybynight wrote:I still can't get over that sled tank. I can just imagine my wife pulling me around the yard behind the tractor while I shout out Поверните налево, вперед товарищи!!!!. Or I could park it out by the gate with KEEP OFF THE GRASS sign. So cool the possibilities are endless
I'd like to hook it up to a dog team, or maybe reindeer.

I wonder if the Finns ever pulled one up to the top of the hill, and then pushed it down towards the Russians below.

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Fri Nov 18, 2016 8:42 pm

quazi wrote:
flybynight wrote:I still can't get over that sled tank. I can just imagine my wife pulling me around the yard behind the tractor while I shout out Поверните налево, вперед товарищи!!!!. Or I could park it out by the gate with KEEP OFF THE GRASS sign. So cool the possibilities are endless
I'd like to hook it up to a dog team, or maybe reindeer.

I wonder if the Finns ever pulled one up to the top of the hill, and then pushed it down towards the Russians below.
And now I have the mental image of a group of Finnish soldiers riding a tank down a snowy hill while firing at some hapless Russian soldiers. :lol:

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by The Twizzler » Fri Nov 18, 2016 9:01 pm

Although more a reconnaissance tank there was
The Kugel Panzer- German WW2 built 1945 it means ball tank. Armed with two or one 7.92 mm machine guns. It was a recon/scout vehicle that had only 5mm of armor. The worst part was it was a scout vehicle with a top speed of 4.9 miles per hour.

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by The Twizzler » Fri Nov 18, 2016 9:14 pm

I could fill a small book with the disasters Britain's homeguard fielded in the beginning of the war. They were the old men that were left home and supposed to fight off the Nazi invasion when they landed. Among other things they were issued these.
The Leo Villa Tank- UK -1940-Improvised tractor tank- equipped with either a 303 MG or a 45 caliber Tommy Gun. They were armored as available soooo there was that. You might get one armored with Tin and wood.
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another
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Army :Here's your tank Corporal.
Corporal: That's a car with a tea catcher on the front.
Army: Right you are sir and ready to win the war, She is.
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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by raptor » Fri Nov 18, 2016 9:32 pm

The Northover Projector is my favorite UK Home Guard weapon. Fortunately for it's crew it was never used in combat.

Then there is the Panjandrum ... :wink:

As for the Kugel Panzer it makes perfect sense if you are building a kamakazee type weapon and not a recon vehicle.

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by The Twizzler » Fri Nov 18, 2016 10:17 pm

A Kamikaze weapon at 4.9 miles per hour? That top speed is on level ground hard to come by in Berlin in 1945.
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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Fri Nov 18, 2016 10:39 pm

That Kugel Panzer tank looks like someone in the Wehrmacht took a look at a child's yo-yo and thought "How can we make a weapon out of this ?" and came up with that thing.

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by quazi » Fri Nov 18, 2016 11:04 pm

12_Gauge_Chimp wrote:That Kugel Panzer tank looks like someone in the Wehrmacht took a look at a child's yo-yo and thought "How can we make a weapon out of this ?" and came up with that thing.
Alternate theory: They saw the Finns sledding their tank down a hill and were like, "You know what would be even more fun? Rolling a tank down a hill."

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Sat Nov 19, 2016 1:18 am

quazi wrote:
12_Gauge_Chimp wrote:That Kugel Panzer tank looks like someone in the Wehrmacht took a look at a child's yo-yo and thought "How can we make a weapon out of this ?" and came up with that thing.
Alternate theory: They saw the Finns sledding their tank down a hill and were like, "You know what would be even more fun? Rolling a tank down a hill."
That's probably a more likely theory.

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by raptor » Sat Nov 19, 2016 8:15 am

The Twizzler wrote:A Kamikaze weapon at 4.9 miles per hour? That top speed is on level ground hard to come by in Berlin in 1945.
If you read the history on the tank you will see that it was part a technology transfer to Japan. Japan had all manner of kamakazee weapons planned from simple lunge mines to boats to submarines. Speed was not always an element of these weapons. In addition putting this "tank" in an ambush position in an urban setting does not require speed.

Hey I am not saying it is good design at all, only that being assigned to one was likely a one way mission.

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by gun toting monkeyboy » Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:05 pm

I think number 6 will likely be the gift tank this year for World of Tanks. It can't be any worse than the German one they gave away a few years back...

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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by taipan821 » Wed Dec 07, 2016 7:53 pm

I have to say number three 'the fallout swimmer' would be something I'd avoid like the plague.

all the other tanks if destroyed is just one tank, the VT8 would take out a division if that reactor is hit.
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Re: The Worst Tanks ever made

Post by TacAir » Wed Dec 07, 2016 9:41 pm

Is smaller better? Nah.

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Produced by France from 1932 to 1940, the French Renault UE Chenillete is considered to be the smallest tank ever made. It was just under six feet long

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Less a tank than a gun carrier. The Bren was much better.


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Bob Semple Tank - Tractor-Tank prototype.


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Armored bike.


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The Tortuga Tank was designed in 1934 and, like the Armored Quadricycle, was armed only with a machine gun. It was intended to scare the neighbors....


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Italian of the interwar period. Talk about small...
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