College kids

A place to discuss special considerations involved prepping and reacting to a disaster with children, pets and other family concerns.

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lailr
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College kids

Post by lailr » Fri Nov 22, 2019 12:58 pm

So I've made the leap to empty nester, with kids now in a metropolitan area 4 hours away. One has a car, and the other is at a campus 30 minutes away, and a freshman with no car. If the worst day happens, has anyone else thought through useful advice for kids either returning home, and/or retrieving them? Honestly, this has caught me flatfooted amongst the hustle of college essays, scholarships, and move in's. Like -if I have to go get them, and communications are down, they know to leave directions of where they are going.

But are there anymore tips folks have thought through for their grown kids?
Last edited by lailr on Fri Nov 22, 2019 3:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: College kids

Post by raptor » Fri Nov 22, 2019 2:55 pm

Set up a communication plan with multiple contact points.
Social media could be useful in this instance as well as text, voice and email.

The actual event obviously should dictate a response but I would certainly suggest agreeing upon Plan A meeting point and a Plan B meeting point in the event of the loss of communications. The meeting point(s) should preferable be along the route to or from home/university.

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Re: College kids

Post by Asymetryczna » Fri Nov 22, 2019 5:46 pm

Everything Raptor wrote.

Assuming that you've taught them about the big, bad world, keeping their head on a swivel, keeping a letter opener nearby and all that, my first thought is that you shouldn't worry. But, as a parent, of course you do... (also, for daughters, don't accept open drinks, that any male can act like a pig, etc...). I've been in the same situation and on the opposite end. Mine went/are out of state a bit further away. Plus, I travel great distances some.

First, let me say that I taught at a university within your 4-hour radius. If you take alcohol out of the equation, I'd say that it is one of the safest places possible to live and this with the fact that as soon as the sun went down, Friday night ride-a-longs' with LEO friends demonstrated how many of the crack and meth heads came alive and liked to operate around the metro area. I can speak for campus security for 3 campuses within your radius that I found extremely squared away. I checked in detail where my kids attend/attended as well and what I found really impressed me.

In terms of extreme events, I lived through the worse ice storm I've ever experienced while I was a prof there. It came fast and shut off power for the entire city for 5 and in some areas 10 days. The university has its own power plant. Power never went off. No utilities of any kind went out on campus.

Texting was not a big thing then; however, now, any kind of campus alert can reach the entire student body in about a flash. Student are quick to point out hazards and the word spreads. Often this causes problems as well. ROTC spotted carrying drill rifles have caused lockdowns for hours...
Perhaps, make friends with people on their campuses. A prof, campus policeman, etc. Ask if you can buy them a coffee. Get their business card and you have another point of contact when you can't make contact with your own. I always had parents call me and I made certain to always reassure them that all was well. If all comms are down, the two groups I mention will likely be the first to have them back up. And so, what I am telling you mainly is that the campus is one of the safest places they can be, and as the most important asset to the university business model they should try to remain within its protection.

There are exceptions. A former Marine with a brain tumor took up space on top of bldg at a Texas University once. Another nut job committed unspeakable acts in a classroom at Va Tech. And there others. These are sick people with no value of life. Exceptions.

The bigger danger is a spoiled, statistically white male in a Greek fraternity. (One of my children joined the Greek system but I provided no financial support for that). Last 2 weeks for example: https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/13/us/frate ... index.html

In terms of total breakdown of society, I still recommend that they stay put on campus until they feel they can no longer do so. Go to them. Make a list of those points between your castle and theirs where they are safe should they have to move. They can develop their own link up spots - mine are all family or families of men I have served with. Each of these are another point of contact for safety and/or leaving messages.

Hope you find this reassuring. Glad if I can help.
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Re: College kids

Post by RoneKiln » Sun Nov 24, 2019 4:37 pm

I can't really speak from a parent's perspective. When I first moved several hours away from my parents with two major cities between us, I very clearly told them not to come after me if the worst happened. Due to my youth, I was by far the stronger, faster, more durable, and far more dangerous of my family. I told them to focus on helping those we cared about that were nearby, and I'd show up if I could.

I also told them I may choose to stay put and help those I cared about in my new home instead of risking crossing two major cities to get to them.

My Mom had trouble with that concept, but my Dad seemed to accept it.
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Re: College kids

Post by lailr » Mon Nov 25, 2019 3:29 pm

Asymetryczna wrote:
Fri Nov 22, 2019 5:46 pm
Everything Raptor wrote.

Assuming that you've taught them about the big, bad world, keeping their head on a swivel, keeping a letter opener nearby and all that, my first thought is that you shouldn't worry. But, as a parent, of course you do... (also, for daughters, don't accept open drinks, that any male can act like a pig, etc...). I've been in the same situation and on the opposite end. Mine went/are out of state a bit further away. Plus, I travel great distances some.

First, let me say that I taught at a university within your 4-hour radius. If you take alcohol out of the equation, I'd say that it is one of the safest places possible to live and this with the fact that as soon as the sun went down, Friday night ride-a-longs' with LEO friends demonstrated how many of the crack and meth heads came alive and liked to operate around the metro area. I can speak for campus security for 3 campuses within your radius that I found extremely squared away. I checked in detail where my kids attend/attended as well and what I found really impressed me.

In terms of extreme events, I lived through the worse ice storm I've ever experienced while I was a prof there. It came fast and shut off power for the entire city for 5 and in some areas 10 days. The university has its own power plant. Power never went off. No utilities of any kind went out on campus.

Texting was not a big thing then; however, now, any kind of campus alert can reach the entire student body in about a flash. Student are quick to point out hazards and the word spreads. Often this causes problems as well. ROTC spotted carrying drill rifles have caused lockdowns for hours...
Perhaps, make friends with people on their campuses. A prof, campus policeman, etc. Ask if you can buy them a coffee. Get their business card and you have another point of contact when you can't make contact with your own. I always had parents call me and I made certain to always reassure them that all was well. If all comms are down, the two groups I mention will likely be the first to have them back up. And so, what I am telling you mainly is that the campus is one of the safest places they can be, and as the most important asset to the university business model they should try to remain within its protection.

There are exceptions. A former Marine with a brain tumor took up space on top of bldg at a Texas University once. Another nut job committed unspeakable acts in a classroom at Va Tech. And there others. These are sick people with no value of life. Exceptions.

The bigger danger is a spoiled, statistically white male in a Greek fraternity. (One of my children joined the Greek system but I provided no financial support for that). Last 2 weeks for example: https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/13/us/frate ... index.html

In terms of total breakdown of society, I still recommend that they stay put on campus until they feel they can no longer do so. Go to them. Make a list of those points between your castle and theirs where they are safe should they have to move. They can develop their own link up spots - mine are all family or families of men I have served with. Each of these are another point of contact for safety and/or leaving messages.

Hope you find this reassuring. Glad if I can help.

That's awesome! Thanks! One's at NCSTATE Majoring in Aerospace Engineering, and the little one is at UNC Chapel Hill, planning on attending med school after. I've spoken with both campus' police trying to make connections, as I'm LEO myself.

And I've tried to teach them about the big bad world, and as one's a girl, I've had boy's are trash talks too.

Still worry though

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Re: College kids

Post by egghunter » Tue Dec 03, 2019 5:00 am

In case we are out if something happens..we will try our best to really go to our meet up spot. We did set a time for that. Let's say something happens at 1:00pm then we have until 6:00pm to reach our spot.

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Re: College kids

Post by Dabster » Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:26 pm

Would it be possible to give them a cheap HAM radio and maybe a bit of practice, maybe even a HAM license?

I've tried to keep my kids nerdy, I might be able to talk them into something like this.
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Re: College kids

Post by lailr » Thu Dec 05, 2019 4:46 pm

Dabster wrote:
Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:26 pm
Would it be possible to give them a cheap HAM radio and maybe a bit of practice, maybe even a HAM license?

I've tried to keep my kids nerdy, I might be able to talk them into something like this.
That's a good idea, and the engineer would probably go for it

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Re: College kids

Post by Evan the Diplomat » Thu Dec 05, 2019 5:38 pm

A lot of good advice has already been given. I will add a little more which I hope will be just as valuable. Make sure the carless child has a bicycle.

If they have room for it in their apartments or dormitories, the basic camping gear of hiking boots tent or tarp sleeping bag and suitable clothing.

I would work out a plan for the two of them to get together in a difficult situation. It will be easier for you to recover the two of them from one spot then going from point A to point B then point C.
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Re: College kids

Post by MPMalloy » Fri Dec 06, 2019 12:24 pm

Bike. Yes, a bike. Excellent idea!

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Re: College kids

Post by lailr » Mon Dec 09, 2019 10:05 am

Evan the Diplomat wrote:
Thu Dec 05, 2019 5:38 pm
A lot of good advice has already been given. I will add a little more which I hope will be just as valuable. Make sure the carless child has a bicycle.

If they have room for it in their apartments or dormitories, the basic camping gear of hiking boots tent or tarp sleeping bag and suitable clothing.

I would work out a plan for the two of them to get together in a difficult situation. It will be easier for you to recover the two of them from one spot then going from point A to point B then point C.
Great Idea, thanks!

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Re: College kids

Post by Stercutus » Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:19 pm

And so, what I am telling you mainly is that the campus is one of the safest places they can be, and as the most important asset to the university business model they should try to remain within its protection.
I'm not so sure. College campuses are one of the most likely places a woman will be raped. It is also less likely when a woman is raped on a campus that her attacker will ever see justice. Hence the first part.

My kids all received scholarships to the same school and live on campus near each other. They all have cars and they all have a GHB.
Texting was not a big thing then; however, now, any kind of campus alert can reach the entire student body in about a flash. Student are quick to point out hazards and the word spreads.
If you have kids enrolled in our college than you may sign up for the campus alert system and receive the same emergency texts that the students receive. Their campus has already had one mass shooting so while they have learned some thing, another one certainly can't be ruled out. The campus is not too far from the ghetto either. Occasionally bullets impact on the buildings and vehicles on campus from off campus.

I am not so sure in case of civil arrest that violence would not spill over on to the campus. As always you need to evaluate what your actual concerns are before coming up with the best way to address them.

The actual event obviously should dictate a response but I would certainly suggest agreeing upon Plan A meeting point and a Plan B meeting point in the event of the loss of communications. The meeting point(s) should preferable be along the route to or from home/university.
That might work. However keep in mind that if a city wide or regional catastrophe is occurring than all the roads might well be jammed.
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Re: College kids

Post by sql_yoda » Mon Dec 30, 2019 7:59 pm

lailr wrote:
Fri Nov 22, 2019 12:58 pm
they know to leave directions of where they are going.
You're already doing better than me friend

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Re: College kids

Post by MPMalloy » Thu Jan 02, 2020 3:34 pm

Stercutus wrote:
Tue Dec 10, 2019 10:19 pm
However keep in mind that if a city wide or regional catastrophe is occurring than all the roads might well be jammed.
Just watch the unfolding bushfires in Australia.
1. Roads jammed, w/some drivers waiting up to 10 hours in traffic jams.
2. No fuel, no supplies available.
3. Mass evacuations, w/no place to go.

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Re: College kids

Post by Stercutus » Sun Mar 01, 2020 8:42 am

I don't think jammed roads are going to be an issue with the pandemic unless there is some kind of panic to run from.

Bless the wife. She was off work and went to visit the kids and took them grocery shopping to stock up their pantries in case things go sideways and there is some kind of sudden internal travel ban.
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Re: College kids

Post by lailr » Mon Mar 02, 2020 9:54 am

I just had them make a supply run this weekend. Stinks on the Credit Card statement, but oh well

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Re: College kids

Post by moab » Thu Mar 05, 2020 10:02 pm

When my son left for college in NY (we live in CA). I researched all the local and state laws. And found out what weapons I could send him with. And what not to send him with. It ended up being he could carry an original (PSK?) Leatherman multi tool. As it wasn't a lock blade. Wasn't over the wrong length. And it's also kind of camouflaged in it's multi-tool housing. Meaning it doesn't look like a 14" bowie knife or a switchblade - if it happened to be seen by someone in the dorms. Highly possible. And I made sure he kept it in his survival kit as much as possible.

I also sent him with a small survival/bug out kit. That literally was smaller than a standard shaving bag. It was Condor and had snapped loops on the back of it. So it could be fastened to any belt or pack or what have you. I consulted with everyone hear. And made up a list of contents that I thought might help him for a while at least. It's not like he was going to be able to easily bug out to home. ;) I don't recall the list. But I included the tiny paperback version of the SAS Survival Manual. I also put in standard meds - ibuprofen, imodium, Benadryl etc. etc. Celox. Water purification tablets. 550 cord. Matches in a sealed ziplock. A Bic lighter. And a firesteel. Ductape. Clean gauze. (So he can make his own bandages.) 2 button compasses. A map of NY or maybe his county. Not sure. Small ziplock with rubber gloves and an alcohol wipe (I had it on hand. What the hell.) A good survival blanket. The foil looking kind? Except I found a good quality one.

Anyway that's all I can think of off the top of my head. You can research kits here on the forum. And get a comprehensive list. And put one together for each of your kids.

They really do need at least a minimum of survival tools. As the likelihood of having to spend a night or two out before you could make it home. Might be high. And if nothing else when they call Mom about the diarrhea their having. You can direct them to the Imodium that Dad so kindly packed for them. ;)
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Re: College kids

Post by FlashDaddy » Sat Mar 07, 2020 10:15 pm

Why the impact of coronavirus could be particularly bad on college campuses
By Catherine E. Shoichet, CNN
Updated 12:08 PM ET, Sat March 7, 2020

(CNN) “Universities across the US are places where students live and work in close quarters -- and where international partnerships are a point of pride. But now, the same details that are selling points in campus brochures have become focal points of a different sort as colleges brace for a possible pandemic...”

Much more at linky->

https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/07/health/ ... index.html
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Re: College kids

Post by Asymetryczna » Wed Apr 08, 2020 7:37 am

Hey lailr, I know those campuses well, but I taught at the other one... With the most recent national issue, our graduate is following the rules where she lives/works in Raleigh and the others left their campuses as soon as the notice was given and relocated with the closest relatives, in each case no more than 3 hours away. I think that even my extended family now sees why I was always asking questions early and had several plans in place.

One cannot prepare for every possible scenario, but one can always prepare. Best to you and yours. Be safe.
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
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Re: College kids

Post by lailr » Wed Apr 08, 2020 9:15 am

Asymetryczna wrote:
Wed Apr 08, 2020 7:37 am
Hey lailr, I know those campuses well, but I taught at the other one... With the most recent national issue, our graduate is following the rules where she lives/works in Raleigh and the others left their campuses as soon as the notice was given and relocated with the closest relatives, in each case no more than 3 hours away. I think that even my extended family now sees why I was always asking questions early and had several plans in place.

One cannot prepare for every possible scenario, but one can always prepare. Best to you and yours. Be safe.
I have them both home safe, working remotely......my house is a wreck, and my grocery/power bill stinks again, but oh well, the little things :D :D :D Seriously, it's good to have them home and know they're as safe as possible.....and suddenly, Dad's prepping doesn't seem nearly as stupid. From the Garden all the way to Lil' bit wanting some trigger time

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Re: College kids

Post by Stercutus » Wed Apr 08, 2020 12:16 pm

lailr wrote:
Wed Apr 08, 2020 9:15 am
Asymetryczna wrote:
Wed Apr 08, 2020 7:37 am
Hey lailr, I know those campuses well, but I taught at the other one... With the most recent national issue, our graduate is following the rules where she lives/works in Raleigh and the others left their campuses as soon as the notice was given and relocated with the closest relatives, in each case no more than 3 hours away. I think that even my extended family now sees why I was always asking questions early and had several plans in place.

One cannot prepare for every possible scenario, but one can always prepare. Best to you and yours. Be safe.
I have them both home safe, working remotely......my house is a wreck, and my grocery/power bill stinks again, but oh well, the little things
And what the hell is the deal with 40 minute showers? I could barely get them to shower when they were in high school and now they think that is ok? I never thought I would see our 80 gallon water heater run empty....

But yeah, better here than elsewhere. :D
You go 'round and around it
You go over and under
I go through

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Re: College kids

Post by lailr » Wed Apr 08, 2020 2:07 pm

Stercutus wrote:
Wed Apr 08, 2020 12:16 pm
lailr wrote:
Wed Apr 08, 2020 9:15 am
Asymetryczna wrote:
Wed Apr 08, 2020 7:37 am
Hey lailr, I know those campuses well, but I taught at the other one... With the most recent national issue, our graduate is following the rules where she lives/works in Raleigh and the others left their campuses as soon as the notice was given and relocated with the closest relatives, in each case no more than 3 hours away. I think that even my extended family now sees why I was always asking questions early and had several plans in place.

One cannot prepare for every possible scenario, but one can always prepare. Best to you and yours. Be safe.
I have them both home safe, working remotely......my house is a wreck, and my grocery/power bill stinks again, but oh well, the little things
And what the hell is the deal with 40 minute showers? I could barely get them to shower when they were in high school and now they think that is ok? I never thought I would see our 80 gallon water heater run empty....

But yeah, better here than elsewhere. :D
Four freaking baths a day! I started calling her the Hippopotamus, because she's spending most of her time in the water.... 'Lil bit, obviously is less than thrilled with that moniker.....says she's stuck with showers on campus.......She's dropped more bath bombs than we dropped over Berlin in '44

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