Zombie Squad Syndication

Please Donate to Assist US Midwest Flood Victims!

In June, river levees throughout the Midwest were breeched due to heavy precipitation which has caused severe flooding in Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Missouri, Minnesota and Wisconsin. The impact of the damages are still coming in as the flooding continues to destroy communities. To make matters worse, most of these floods came only a few days after a series of tornadoes tore through some of these same areas, including some Mid-Atlantic States. Our national disaster response charities are tapped out due the overwhelming need for relief aid. Some charities, such as the Red Cross, are reporting that they are now seeking loans to support its network of experienced workers and volunteers, due to their funds being depleted. The need your help more than ever.

Please donate whatever you can:
Donate to American Red Cross
Donate to Direct Relief International

Whoever you decide to give your money to, be sure to investigate them before you give.

If you are in the area or willing to travel, volunteers are always needed:
Volunteer for AmeriCorps
Volunteer with the Red Cross Disaster Services

A few images of the flood and tornado damage:

Feel free to spread the word with the banners below:

This edition of the ZSS Feed will showcase several recipes submitted by Zombie Squad members.

Each recipe is one that you can cook using a campfire or cook stove.

Okay, enough filler, on with the recipes.

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This recipe comes to us from IllicitDreams and is for Venison cooked over the campfire.

This is just one of many methods of preparing dinner on a campfire, but one of my favorites due to ease of cleanup.

The foil pack…

For this meal I prepared Venison Tenderloins, Potatoes, and Carrots.

I marinated the Tenderloins overnight in a chile and lime marinade, sliced the potatoes, and added baby carrots to the mix.

The potatoes and carrots were seasoned with butter, and creole seasoning.

Now for assembly.

Start by prepping the potatoes, I like leaving the skin on mine for extra flavor.

As you can see I used packages of baby carrots for ease of use.

Next rip off a piece of foil approx. 2.5 feet. Place large dab of butter (think half dollar coin sized) on foil, add potato slices, carrots (onions if you wish), and seasoning of choice.

As you can see the vegetables are placed towards one end of the foil.

Next add meat, you can use meat you’ve marinated, or use unmarinated it doesn’t matter.

Now fold the end of the foil over the food, and continue folding until you reach the end of the piece of foil you tore off. Roll the edges toward the food to seal the package. Unfortunately I forgot to take pictures of this step.

Then place the foil pack on hot coals, for approximately 15-30 mins per side (less depending on how well you like the meat done.), remove from coals, unwrap and enjoy… as always be careful the contents will be hot.

Clean up is a breeze just burn the paper plate, wad up the foil, toss it in your trash bag, wash your knife, and utensil.

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This recipe comes from Dogbane and is a simple hamburger and onion recipe cooked over the campfire. Sounds yummy and simple, lets give it a look.

I recently did a workshop in which I did some cooking with foil. My favorite was the hamburger cooked in an onion.

First, I hollowed out a yellow onion:

Packed one half with ground beef:

Put the other half on top:

Wrapped it in foil (shiny side in is supposed to make it slightly hotter–who knows?):

Cooked on open coals:

Then unwrapped it and ate it. Unfortunately, I was hungry and snarfed the thing down before I thought to take a picture of the delicious finished product. Some people cooked eggs in their onions, which turned out all right.

But here’s a picture of a nifty foil-and-stick frying pan that worked quite well:

Also, we made meatloaf on a stick, which was quite good.

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This next article comes to us from forum moderator NFA. Despite the fact that this recipe was cooked on a stovetop, I’ve included it because there’s no refrigerated items used in this dish’s preparation and all of the items are items that most survivalists have on hand in their pantry already. On with the recipe (which is delicious, I’ve tried this one myself)

I’m enjoying a snow-day at home with my son today, so when I started to get hungry, I explored our emergency food supply a bit to make a lunch for myself…

Canned black beans (15.25 oz), canned ham (5oz), olive oil (2T), garlic (3 cloves), Tabasco (about 10-12 drops)…all of these things live in my food supply closet in quantity…

Pour the oil into a frying pan, add the garlic (cut into both large and small pieces), fry over medium heat until the smaller pieces are just starting to brown a bit…

Next add the can of beans (don’t drain them, everything in the can goes into the pan)…once they begin to bubble, add the ham and break it up so the flavors can co-mingle nicely…once the soup begins to bubble, add tabasco to taste…

The finished product is yummy and filling and nutritious:

Beans - 3.5g fat, 24.5g protein, 66.5g carb, 385 calories
Ham - 15g fat, 22.5g of protein, 0g carb, 225 calories
Oil - 28g fat, 0g protein, 0g carb, 238 calories
Garlic - 0g fat, 1g protein, 0g carb, 13 calories
Tabasco - 0g fat, 0g protein, 0g carb, 1 calorie

TOTAL: 46.5g fat, 48g protein, 66.5g carb, 981 calories

nfa

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This next recipe was submitted by Woods Walker and though the ingredients list might be a bit long, the preparation is super simple.

Camp meal. Nothing special.

Here is my normal camp meal. It’s not mama’s cooking but is high calorie, lightweight, easy to pack and cheap. Goes without saying any stove would work but if using my wood stove for heat than that is my preference.

1. Lipton side dish. Beans and rice but other side dishes work. I tend to avoid anything with powdered cheese type sauce. These have a bit more calories but they tend to burn much easier.

2. Olive oil. You can use packets or in this case a few ounces in a small canteen

3. Granola type bar.

4. Powdered milk.

5. Coffee with two sugars or hot coco.

6. Spiced Cider.

7. Pack of cooked chicken. Beef jerky or anything like that is good too.

I fill the cook pot and cup with water and bring it to a simmer leaving enough room for the food to be mixed in.

Mix in the side dish and olive oil. I normally use ½ oz of oil.

Cut the chicken up and then add to the mix.

Keep cook pot at a simmer or boil and still occasionally. Normally it will be done in 7-12 minutes.

Let sit of another few minutes with lid for thickening than enjoy.

Sometime during the later stages of cooking the main dish check the cup. It should be boiling or at the very least simmering. Or if using a normal camp stove put the cup on as the main dish thickens.

Make your cup of coffee, coco, tea or spiced cider. Whatever floats your boat. Side it off to the warming tray or ground if you don’t have one.

This meal will not win any awards at the country fair but sure beats Mountain House or MREs in my view. The downside being this takes more time and work.

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This next series of recipes comes from Horror Chic. Although there’s no pictures, some of these recipes appeared in yummy food form at Zombie Con this year and deserve to be mentioned here.

English Muffins

1 c warm water
½ c warm milk (or use 1 ½ c warm water with 2 T powdered milk)
2 t sugar
1 t salt 2 t yeast (or 1 package) dissolved in 2 T water

Mix all ingredients, then add in 2 c flour. Beat well. Allow to rise until it collapses on itself. Then gradually work in 2 c more flour. Roll dough out ¾ inch thick, cut into rounds, and allow to rise. Bake on preheated, greased griddle, turning once, until golden brown.

Griddle Scones

2 c flour
A pinch salt
3 t baking powder
2 T butter
2 T sugar
1 egg beaten with enough milk to make 2/3 cup

Mix flour, baking powder, and salt, then rub in butter. Mix in sugar. Add egg/milk mixture and mix (BRIEFLY!) to form a soft dough. Knead 1 minute. Divide into three parts. Roll out each piece to a ¼ inch circle, and cut into four wedges. Bake each piece on a griddle for 3 minutes on a side, turning once.

White Bread (this works really well as a base for cinnamon rolls)

6 c flour
1 t salt
2 T butter
2 t (or 1 pkg) yeast
1 t sugar
2 c warm water

Mix flour and salt, and rub in butter. Sprinkle yeast on ¼ c of the water, with the sugar added. Let proof 5 minutes, then add, with the rest of the water, to the flour mixture. Mix well, knead ten minutes, then put in bowl and let rise until doubled. Knock down dough, shape into two loaves and let rise until doubled. Bake at 450 degrees until brown, approx. 30 minutes.

Spoon Bread

5 eggs
¼ c cornmeal
1 T sugar
½ t salt
2 c milk
2 T melted butter

Beat eggs. Stir in cornmeal, salt, milk, and butter. Bake until top is golden brown and puffed up.

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Our last recipe comes to you from Erik and isn’t for the faint of heart. Be sure to put the kids to bed, bar the doors and for the love of all that is sacred, keep this man from ever making another recipe again.

I present to you: Brain Sammiches

Hello, ZS! Tonight I once again whipped up one of the local favorite dishes, which I also love. Brains! Here are step by step preparation instructions with photos.

Step 1: Get a can of pig brains. They are readily available at the small grocery stores in my area. They are precooked and aren’t bad if you don’t mind the 1080% cholesterol per serving. They run about $1.69.

Step 2: Open the can of pig brains. Look at them in revulsion or with hunger, depending on the person.

Step 3: Here’s a closeup of a nice larger brain chunk. Don’t be a pansy, pop that chunk right into your mouth.

Step 4: Break four eggs into a frying pan.

Step 5: Add brains and scramble.

Step 6: Admire your delicious scrambled eggs and brains. Looks tasty now, doesn’t it?

Step 7: Put between slices of toast. Makes one sandwich per egg.

Step 8: Enjoy! I had a craving for these all week. Brain sandwiches are actually *very* filling! Yum!

-Erik

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That’s it for this edition of Cooking with the Zombie Hunters. If you’d like to visit some of the threads on the Zombie Squad Forums and contribute to the discussions, don’t hesitate to visit our Eats and Drinks Forum. Thanks for reading!

Hey Everyone:

This article was originally written by Zombie Squad forum member Jeffery. I’m just the editor, so be sure to direct all comments, praise or death threats his way. This article and the information contained are both simple and easy to follow and constitute a vital resource for protecting your valuable data.

On with the article:

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Use TrueCrypt to encrypt the data on your USB storage device.

This guide will cover the steps taken to create a secure, encrypted container on your removable, USB storage device. The process here is tailored to the Microsoft Windows operating system. This software is available for Linux and Mac OSX. If you are using either of those you will need to refer to the documentation contained on the TrueCrypt homepage. However, many of the the processes here will still apply. Enjoy!

TrueCrypt’s Website Link

1. Download TrueCrypt for your platform of choice.

TrueCrypt’s Download Center

2. Double click the installation file to begin setup

The first screen will be a license agreement you must accept to continue. Read it if you like, I didn’t. This program is 100% free and contains no adware or spyware. After agreeing to the license, it will ask you to install or extract. You will probably want to do both, more on this later but for now, choose Install and click Next.

The default installation path is C:\Program Files\TrueCrypt which can be changed to your liking. I used the default path.

On this screen there are some more options:
Install for all users - This will place shortcuts on the start menu for all users on your system.
Add TrueCrypt to the Start menu - This is up to you but realize it will nullify the previous option if not checked.
Add TrueCrypt icon to desktop - I did this and immediately moved the shortcut to my QuickLaunch, YMMV.
Associate the .tc file extension with TrueCrypt - I recommend this option. It makes it easier to open your encrypted volumes by simply double-clicking.
Create System Restore point - Certainly Windows specific, and I do not use it. TC is not going to break your system.

Determine your appropriate options and click the Install button.

3. Complete Setup

Once installation is complete, you may be prompted to read the tutorial. This is advised although my thread here should get you up and running for the purposes of a secure portion of a USB stick.

Click Finish on the Installation log screen.

4. Run TrueCrypt and create a new volume.

Double-click the desktop icon or click the shortcut on your start menu to run TrueCrypt. It will present a screen with a bunch of free drive letters and many options. Insert your removable drive into a USB slot. Next, click the button labeled Create Volume.

You will now see the TrueCrypt Volume Creation Wizard. You can use this to create an encrypted container for your sensitive data. The first option is what we will use however note the other choices and their descriptions. This program is way more robust than our needs require it to be and you may find it useful for other tasks.

With the first option selected, click Next. The following dialog will let you choose from a standard or hidden volume. A hidden volume may be warranted if someone is holding a gun to your head asking for a password. This is unlikely, considering we are simply securing things like scanned copies of driver license and birth certificates. Choose the standard volume option and press Next.

You will need to specify the location to place your secure container. This will look like a file with the .tc extension. My USB stick shows up as G: in Windows Explorer. You will need to check how yours is referenced. Next you need to decide on a file name. Personally I did two things here. First I created a new folder on my USB stick named Crypt. Then I used this dialog to specify a file name for my encrypted container based on what is inside. You may have more stuff than just personal documents such as field manuals, first aid guides, etc. Long story short, create a folder for your encrypted containers and pick an appropriate file name. Click Next

The following dialog will allow you to choose your desired encryption and hash algorithms. I could write a book about the possibilities but for simplicity and good security, choose AES and SHA-512 then click Next.

You will then need to specify the size for your container. Realize that this is a fixed size. The container will not grow or shrink based on what is inside. A few images may only take a few megabytes. In the interest of scalability, I would go with a few hundred for each container you make. This will obviously depend on the total amount of space available on your USB stick. Enter your desired size and click Next

5. Set a password for your volume and shake your mouse a lot.

Next, create a password that will protect your volume. This needs to be STRONG. It should consist of a mixture of numbers, symbols, lower and uppercase letters. It should be at a minimum, 12 characters long. TrueCrypt will recommend at least 20 characters. Remember, the space bar counts as a symbol so you can use an entire sentence if you like. Again, volumes can be written about password strength and if you need guidance, check Google or Wikipedia. Oh and, don’t write it down or share it, this would defeat the whole process we are undertaking. Don’t worry about the keyfiles option. Choose a good password, verify it, then smash the Next button.

The following dialog is the most fun part. You get to randomly shake your mouse around thus increasing the cryptographic strength of your volume. Don’t sit there all night but do move the mouse randomly for a minute or so. You can select the format and cluster size although the default settings will do just fine. When finished, depress the button labeled Format. Depending on the speed of your computer, this step may take a few moments to complete. Click Exit on the following dialog.

6. Mount your TrueCrypt volume and fill it with porn, I mean, important information.

If you look at your USB stick in Windows Explorer, you will find your newly created, encrypted volume.

Double-click this file. When the TrueCrypt screen pops up, choose a free drive letter from the list (I picked Z) and click Mount. You will be prompted for your password. Enter it and click OK

Your encrypted volume is now mounted as a new drive in Windows and ready to have information added to it. Treat it just like any drive. The stuff you copy to it will be contained and secured inside the .tc file in the location you have specified on your USB stick. When you’re finished accessing the container, click Dismount

7. Daily usage.

Step six is the basic outline for how to use this volume when you need to read or modify the files within. In short, insert your USB stick, browse to the .tc file of your choice, double-click to open in TrueCrypt and mount the file as a drive letter. Dismount when finished.

Appendix A

Otay, otay, at this point you should be able to secure your data but you may still be wondering about the install versus extract thing from step one. The installation file you downloaded will allow you to install TrueCrypt on the computer. This is what we did so far. The other option will allow you to run TrueCrypt from your memory stick directly.

First, double click the setup file as previously described. Agree to the license terms and then select the Extract option instead of Install. It will then ask where to extract and you will want to type in or browse to your memory stick. To keep things clean, specify a new folder name and click Extract. This will install a standalone version of TrueCrypt onto your USB stick and prevent you from needing to install it on the PC you are using.

You will need to run TrueCrypt from the memory stick first and then double click your .tc file as usual.

In summary, putting scans of your personal stuff on a portable device is a great way to keep it with you at all times. Of course, if you lose it your information could be compromised. Employing strong encryption will ensure your data will not be read by unauthorized persons. Realize that TrueCrypt is not the only software tool for achieving this goal but after trying many, it is my choice.

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If you liked this article, feel free to comment/contribute on the Zombie Squad Forums by Clicking Here. Thanks for reading.

How I Spent the Week Before My Summer Vacation Started

Surviving…

1. cross-country torture by the employees of United Express Airlines (twice!)
2. Zombiecon 2008

I hated one of these endurance tests more than seems reasonable or fair, and loved the other to the same extent…here’s the story of the one that I loved (with a bit of bitching at the end about the one that I hated)…

Zombiecon is a get-together of (this year) about 60 members of the world’s foremost non-stationary cadaver elimination outfit, Zombie Squad, that is held a few miles from the Walmart in Desloge, MO…

NOTE: to protect the innocent (along with the not-so-innocent), and because I won’t remember all of the names of the people that I was lucky enough to meet last week, I am not going to use any names in this blog entry

I arrived in the afternoon on Wednesday, and hauled a couple of loads of my (way too much) crap up the hill in the afternoon heat…given the slope and lack of soil, I was glad that I brought my Hennessy Hammock to sleep in, and soon found a spot to set up my home for the week…

I drank more than my fair share of water during the course of Zombiecon…this picture shows the water facilities…Berkeley filters and jerrycans of pee-water hauled up from Manbath and some Clorox to kill off whatever the filters don’t get…hauling water up the hill a couple of times during Zombiecon was easy enough, although after some of the intensive Manbath sessions, I was a little leery of the end product of the filtration system…I survived drinking gallons of the stuff though, so no worries…

I saw this coyote-poop just outside of Manbath, during one of the 6,483 trips up and down the steep nugget of pain that is the hill to Zcon Central…

Once I got my HH set up, and the rest of my camping gear/clothing stashed under the tarp, I headed down to the central canopied area to eat (very little, I’m a polar bear, and Zcon felt like the Sahara to me) and drink (too much…cold beer likes me, and the feeling is mutual) while howdying people and enjoying the sunset…

Despite the slope and height and swarms of rabid wolverines and loose rocks on the hill, almost everyone brought coolers (at least 1)…some with wheels…there was no shortage of food or drink at Zcon, and I found everyone happy to share with everyone else…there were both great and terrible food and drink items that passed my lips during the week…thanks to everyone for them all…

The canopies and tables in the central area of camp made everything easier, especially in the heat and sun of the spectacular weather that we generally had during Zcon…

This picture shows a meeting of the minds of some members of the ZS power structure…yup, Kyle is actually drinking his morning coffee from a goblet/chalice…

On Thursday morning, a bunch of us climbed the rest of the way to the top of the hill, and enjoyed an interesting seminar on (mostly) Ham radio communication…it was a super presentation, and made me dust off the downloaded set of questions that I printed out for my technical test…I’ll try to get to the test sometime this summer…

Once the bulk of the seminar was delivered, we actually communicated with ham operators from all over the country…this portion of the seminar was the reason for having it hosted on top of the hill, and for the huge antenna poking the heavens in the ass…

Manbath…the name alone invokes fear and lust and shame and (strangely) thirst among anyone who has experienced Cthulhu’s wading pool…it was an important part of my Zcon experience for a number of reasons: I drank gallons of “purified”water wrung from it’s depths; I cleaned the slime and scum and sweat and blood off of my carcass every day in the same spot that water carriers filed the jerrycans; I drank lots of beer (and booze, including some banana liqueur some sick fuck brought to the party) while standing in its thrall, ignoring the angry Sun overhead (and the growing burns on my pink parts); I tried to ignore/forget the baleful and exultant cries and naked manparts that escaped from its gravity well…

I loved and hated Manbath…it both cleansed and sullied me on many levels…

We had another seminar up at the main gathering area, this one on 1st aid and 1st aid kits…

This was another great seminar, rich with information and suggestions about improving methods and techniques and supplies for when people get broken or spring leaks…

After the 2nd seminar, most people seemed to head back down to Manbath…enough, in fact, that they ended up holding the 3rd seminar of the day down in Manbath once it was clear that few would be able to escape its eerie pull…

The numerous waterfalls that feed Manbath may have something to do with it not becoming a toxic wasteland during the course of Zcon…there were fish when we arrived, and I saw them still swimming on my last morning swim on my way out of camp…

The application of suntan goop was an ongoing social activity (mating ritual?), and you could tell those who were unlucky or unmindful of the Sun by their bright red hides and ouchy whining the next day…

The 3rd seminar was on ZS fund-raising and charity activities, a huge part of what ZS does (since the zombocalypse is ever over the horizon, and we can focus on more immediate/likely disasters)…the original ZS chapter (in St. Louis) members had lots of great advice for people interested in starting new chapters all over the place (we had Zcon attendees from as far away as Wales) or just running a charity event to help out people in need…

Some ZSers love Manbath beyond all (readily apparent and/or sane) reason…

Eventually, the sun slunk behind the hill, and people started to think about dinner (either due to hunger, or as a base for further drinking later in the evening)…Zcon cooking is all done over one big central fire (which saved me bringing my stove…yay!), and promotes a friendly atmosphere of sharing and potluck-ing…

Everyone settled into campchairs, or on top of coolers, to enjoy dinner, and the coming of cooler air as the day gave way to night, and we got ready for the movies…

Every night at Zcon, we watched 2-3 zombie movies…some good, some bad, some indecent…my favorite (to my everlasting shame) was “Special Dead“, and I would have trouble picking a least favorite (although I’d rather snort hornets than watch “Wild Zero” again…ever)…

Friday we headed out in convoy and went over to Cherokee Landing to do a river float…

It took a while to get everyone and all of the boats and gear to the put-in location, but we a fun time waiting and sharing out/redistributing the MREs and components that ZS had given us for lunch (I got Chicken with Thai Sauce, and it was awesome!)…

Eventually we head off, wary and mindful of the clouds overhead, and the thunder in the distance…

We all moved at different speeds, but would occasionally pull over on a sandbar to prevent excessive spacing out along the river…

It was a gorgeous river and a fun trip, although there were numerous places where we had to get out to drag across shallow stretches or over downed trees…it did start to rain and thunder after a while, and my canoe partner and I got down to business and paddled hard to the Cherokee Landing headquarters to wait for everyone else…we surprised the outfitters with our time down, and had a bit of a wait until the last people pulled in, wet and cold and tired, but having had a fun day on the river!

It may be a law (natural, unnatural, or otherwise) that any time more than 3 ZSers get together and it’s not over 95 degrees, at least one of them will start a fire…there was a welcome application of the law in this case, as it was a little cool and a little windy for the wet bodies that had just gotten off of the water and cooled off after paddling (drifting, drinking, sleeping) in the rain for hours…

Saturday was the range day, and we convoyed for an hour or so over to the range, and set up the canopies (thank God, it was blazing hot all day) in 3 areas: rifles, shotguns, and handguns…after a brief safety refresher talk, we started shooting…it was a fun time for me, as I had never seen lots of the guns there, and everyone was more than willing to teach and share and let me shoot…

It was great to not know almost anything about handguns, ask for, and get, a tutorial, and then have people come up and offer to let me shoot their handguns…I had fun with all of the firearms that I shot on range-day, but the 45-70 was a ridiculous favorite of mine (you gotta be ready for zombie-robot-trex-alypse!)…

There was no shortage of ammo or variety in the types and sizes of firearms available…

There was lots going on over on the rifle range as well…shooting and instruction…

Mil-surp to high-tech

Someone gather about 30 pounds of brass during the course of the day for reloading purposes…

The shotgun shooting was fun, a clay-thrower and various shotguns and personalized instruction from a member of the US shooting team…not too shabby…

A picture of Brash blasting away with the 45-70 revolver…

Range-day ended with a pistol match…4 zombie-targets: 2 shots into the first 2 targets (center mass shots acceptable, but headshots preferable), change out magazine, 2 shots into the next target, and 3 shots into the final target (at least 1 in the head)…

I’d never seen this type of match before, and it was cool to see people close-in target shooting and accomplish the magazine changes while being timed…

As had been the case each night, there were some cries of “MEDIC” once people got back to camp, got fed, and noticed the bloodtrail they had been leaving behind them all the while…luckily, ZS is chock full of people with the gear and training to handle most medical issues likely to come up…

The first movie of Saturday night was, “Night of the Living Dead in 3D“, 60 people clinging to their drinks and the side of a mountain in the middle of nowhere while wearing 3D glasses and watching such a miserable piece of shit as this movie is nothing short of awesome!

While we were watching the movie, some of the ZS board members made and delivered fresh-made popcorn for us to enjoy…it was a wonderful experience, and a nice followup to the excellent grilled dinner that they had made for us earlier in the evening…

My shoulder bag from CountyComm was a lifesaver, both at Zombiecon and in transit to and from the St. Louis airport…it kept all of my important gear and papers close and organized, and allowed me to keep my sanity while United Express fucked me over repeatedly…

A brief rant about United Express:
I was supposed to fly out (to DC and then on to STL) Tuesday afternoon, but they cancelled my first flight…they switched me to Chicago to STL, which was then delayed until it was impossible to make the connection, so they switched me back to DC to STL in the morning…I made the first leg the next morning, but the second leg was cancelled, so I had to go to Chicago and then onto STL, both legs delayed, and wait for 2.5 hours until my bags caught up with me…

On the way back they delayed my first flight for so long that it should have been impossible to catch the next leg, and the alternative they offered was cancelled, but staying true to their nature, the original second leg of the flight of the flight was delayed by 2 hours more than the first had been, and so I made it to ALB eventually, although I again had to wait for my bag to get there (even though I ended up taking the flights that I had been ticketed for…go figure)…

Lessons Learned From Zombiecon:

1. bring less gear and clothes
2. buy less food
3. buy more ice for beer
4. get Sun-pocalypse tested suntan goop, and apply it all the time
5. Hennessy Hammocks rock, I slept better at Zcon than I do at home
6. ALWAYS maintain eye-contact while in Manbath, looking down can only result in therapy
7. drink more water
8. ticks like warm and wet and crinkly pink parts, so check everyday, and then get a friend to check the hard to reach spots…Lyme Disease sucks!
9. Canadians like Walmart
10. if the end of the world comes, I want to go through it with a group of people like the ones who attended Zombiecon this year…nice and funny and knowledgeable and defective in the same ways that I am…

Thanks to everybody who made Zombiecon possible, fun, and also a learning experience!

Jamie - nfa

Snagged from nfa’s blog: http://myzombieblog.blogspot.com/2008/06/zombiecon-2008.html

You can find a forum discussion about everyone’s adventure here: http://zombiehunters.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=30821

Due to recent circumstances, Zombie Squad is collecting funds for the dual relief of the citizens affected by both the recent Cyclone Nargis in Myanmar as well as the recent devastating earthquakes in China.

The funds for this drive will be donated directly to Save the Children via check at the completion of this fund drive, which will last 30 days. Save the Children are actively giving aid in both the country of Myanmar and Sichuan Provinces. Save The Children is one of the few charities that are being allowed into the country by the Burmese military to give aid to their people.

Zombie Squad’s mission is not only to prepare for disasters, but to help communities cope with them when they do occur. To accomplish that mission, we are collecting funds to donate for disaster relief in these areas.

Details for donating are here: http://zombiehunters.org/myanmar-china.php

There is a forum discussion going on about this drive which may answer some questions you may have here: http://zombiehunters.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=30039

If you don’t feel comfortable donating to the ZS fund then please don’t let that stop you from donating directly! However, be sure to investigate before you give. http://www.give.org/

Everyone celebrates and honors our fallen U.S. military men and women in different ways. Some eat BBQ and drink beer... some go camping in midwest rain storms. Our Zombie movie expert, Ashnack, reviews some rather awful zombie horror films. This is the service he provides.

This four reviews this year are Days of Darkness Review, Of the Living Dead review, Boy Eats Girl Review, and Zombiegeddon. The links to discussion threads in the forum are located after each review. Feel free to join in!

Days of Darkness Review

Time for a new movie review. Rather than choose a successful film, or at least one that made the theater, I have chosen Days of Darkness for this endeavor.

As always there will be spoilers because lets face it the plot is what makes these movies funny.

The basic premise of this cinematic masterpiece is that a comet drops a big chunk of itself into Earths atmosphere releasing Zombie Spores (not sure what else to call them). Overnight the majority of the population is turned into flesh eating zombies.

Our heroes and I use that term very very loosely, are 11 of the most dysfunctional people that could ever bee assembled. There is the newly retired porn actress and her virgin daughter, the out of work b-movie action star who is a coward (I find it funny that a movie with no names you will ever see again has two failed actors as characters) there is the young couple and a few other random losers thrown in for fun, even the standard religious zealot who may be a bit gay.

We soon find out that not only do Zombie Spores (Trade Mark Ashnack Inc.) make you into a zombie but soon after a males boy parts fall off and alien human hybrid critters start growing down there in this gross little sack. Now zombies I can take but alien Zombie Spores (soon for sale at Wal-Mart) that castrate you are just not cool.

As our band of rugged losers fight on and their numbers begin to drop they also learn that the 2 young virgin girls appear to be pregnant (the boyfriend assumes his girl had cheated on him 3 months before).

Needless to say we learn that Zombie Spores (don’t let them near your daughters) don’t zombiefy young girls but instead give them alien hybrid babies and attack tentacles for their privates.

It was at this point I started to wonder why the director kept messing with people’s privates; I mean come on dude that’s just mean.

To wrap up this fine cinematic venture we find out the cure for zombies.

Drum Roll

BOOZE :D

Yes Zombie Squad the cure for zombies is booze. It flushes Alien Babies out of girls, it makes Zombie Heads Explode. Yes if your town is infested with Zombie Spores (Approved by Madd) then you should drink and be merry.

And to prove the good use of booze the final scene has our final survivors polishing off a bottle of Rot Gut while shooting the walking dead.

Discussion:http://zombiehunters.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=29935

Of the Living Dead review; Or how to make a movie for $20

Ahh the joy of low budget Zombie films.

But how low can a budget go?

Meat Market claimed to be filmed for about $7,000 and a lot of actors having their own guns etc?

If that seems a bit expensive for a zombie film then I at least have one reason to recommend “…Of the Living Dead”. If this movie cost more than $200 to make I would be surprised.

The plot, what little plot there is, is that 2 friends with various family members are trapped in a mobile home by the living dead. There are also 2 friends driving around after finding their homes destroyed by a hurricane and a jogger who really pisses of a warlock by running through his séances.

The zombies are being caused by one of several reasons as reported on the news:

1. Monkeys bit some people 27 days earlier
2. Rednecks using toxic chemicals to make moonshine
3. Children playing with dead things
4. A virus released in squirrel city
5. Evil séances
6. Toxic chemicals discovered in a warehouse
And a few others I don’t remember.

The Zombies in this movie are really dumb too. One is fooled into leaving the trailer by a note saying “I went out side” and the rest start leaving the trailer alone when they read a note saying “Humans are in the woods, Knocking is annoying House, Signed House”.

When our inventive directors needed to create a government man in a bio suit (I think) they took an actor (and boy do I use that term loosely) and duct taped silver tarps all around his body.

We also find out that the natural enemies of Zombies are Ninjas (heavy set Ninjas) and the enemy of Ninjas is the Red Zombie (take actor add Red Hoodie).

The DVD cost of this movie probably represents a noticeable portion of the total budget so I don’t know what to say.

I did laugh a few times and for all of how bad it was it still kicked any Troma films butt.

Discussion:http://zombiehunters.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=29988

Boy Eats Girl Review; not Porn

I guess the Memorial Day weekend review a-thon shall continue.

Today’s second movie was the Irish Epic Zombie Film Boy Eats Girl.

As always spoilers will be all over the place.

The basic premise of the movie is simple.

Boy Likes Girl, Boy is going to ask girl to date him, girl shows up late, boy later thinks girl is giving school lead jock a BJ, Boy drinks and contemplates suicide by playing with a noose in his room in front of the door, Mom opens door, Boy dies, Mom reanimates Boy with ancient Voodoo spell.

Ok so it is not too common a theme, or is it? The entire time I was watching it all I could think of was the really bad Zombie movie My Boyfriends Back.

In this fine movie after being reanimated our hero pisses of the girl he loves and then bites a school bully at the end of semester Disco (those wacky Irish).

School bully comes back as a regular zombie, and proceeds to add to the shambling horde one bite at a time.

It takes half the movie to get there but we finally start getting some great bloodshed, decapitations, poor use of lawn equipment, and even new uses for lawn lights.

Our heroes mom finds out that her son can be cured by the bite of a snake that just happens to live in the same crypt as the zombie book. Thank goodness for that because as I recall Ireland HAS NO SNAKES, some saint we all like to drink to took care of them.

Well in the end half the senior class as well as a good portion of the town end up dead, but our hero gets to be a real live boy again.

The zombies moved a bit fast and no one way to kill them was ever settled on. Also no guns in the entire movie. I mean this is Ireland; don’t they all have guns there so they can fight the Brits? Also the Boy NEVER EATS A GIRL, talk about false advertising (they do have one oral sex joke based on the movie title but it is not very good).

It seems this movie was a rewrite of a bad American movie and just tried to up the gore so they could make a few extra bucks off the Shaun of the Dead phenomenon.

I can’t wait to see what fun I will watch next.

Discussion:http://zombiehunters.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=29942

Zombiegeddon Review; or why we should all hate Troma

Ok the final (hopefully) review for Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend 2008.

Zombigeddon AKA A Troma Piece of Garbage.

Those of us who try to watch every Zombie film that comes out (I am looking at you here Kristan) sometimes have to view garbage that would choke a maggot. To quote a buddy of mine this movie stunk so badly it would knock a buzzard of a crap wagon.

Now it is not the worst Troma movie ever; but trying to categorize how bad a Troma movie can be is like trying to compare if being analy assaulted by Thor or Gundown is worse. They are all bad.

I guess I should at least touch on the plot. Zombies are being sent by Satan to take over the world. The only person who can stop them is the blood descendent of Gods zombie killers. He is a super corrupt cop who does drugs, kills innocent people and according to one person “rapes prisoners both male and female”. Bad special effects ensue.

There are a few topless women and ohh yeah they let Tom Savini play Jesus (like he needs that going to his head.

The zombies are basically demons and there is no infection. They can move fast, do Karate, and talk. They just look ugly. In reality Zombiegeddon does not even really have zombies.

And to add insult to injury they claim to have Ron Jeremy in the Movie but he is only a voice cameo on a radio show for like 2 seconds.

In conclusion DO NOT EVER SEE THIS MOVIE.

Ohh yeah and Lloyd Kaufman and Troma SUCK.

Thank you

Discussionhttp://zombiehunters.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=29949

It’s almost that time of the year again when Zombie Squaders from around the globe meet up and double the population of Irondale, MO.

Registration ends on May 15th. Don’t miss the greatest Zombie Survival event in North America! Details are here: http://zombiehunters.org/zombiecon2008.php

What is Zombie Con?
Zombie Con 2005
Zombie Con 2006
Zombie Con 2007

For this session of my IFAK Essentials Series, I’d like to touch on the Asherman Chest Seal (ACS). Every serious trauma bag should include an ACS, and IMO, every bug out First Aid Kit (FAK) should include at least one instance of the same. The Asherman Chest Seal is a mainstay of the US Armed Forces and after reading this article, you’ll understand why having one or two is vital to your survival FAK.

In the event of an end of the world scenario, the likelihood of suffering a Gun Shot Wound (GSW) or other serious chest trauma is magnified. By adding a $10 Asherman Chest Seal to your FAK, you significantly improve your patient’s odds of survival in the event of a sucking chest wound or deflated lung.

WHY YOU NEED AN ACS:

Open chest trauma often results in a Tension Pneumothorax (collapsed lung). This is due to the introduction of air into the Pleural Cavity which, after only a few breaths, deflates the lung rendering it useless. With only one functional lung, your patient is now in serious trouble as his body fights for a lack of oxygen.

^Xray of a left side Tension Pneumothorax.

^Cross section of a left side tension pneumothorax.

^Illustration highlighting (in blue) the Pleural cavity.

^Illustration highlighting (note the very edge of the lungs) pleural cavity.

The ACS fixes this condition by allowing only blood and air to escape through the flutter valve shown below. With each breath, the patient will force air from the Pleural cavity and in doing so, will re-inflate his lung on his own, allowing more oxygen into his blood system.

Collapsed lungs can also place undue pressure upon the heart and circulatory system thusly putting your patient in further danger.

HOW TO USE THE ACS:

Simply open the package, use the provided 4×4 of Kerlix (see images below for detailed pictures) to cleanse the wound site as much as possible, expose the adhesive on the ACS and place the ACS directly over the wound site.

^The problem.

^The solution. (Shown here is a properly placed ACS which has resulted in expulsion of air from the Pleural cavity allowing the lung to re-inflate)

DETAIL PHOTOS OF THE ACS

ACS removed from one of my medical kits.

Back of the package which is made of a rather sturdy transparent plastic. Some medics have reported using this plastic on occasion to secure another chest bandage, though I haven’t been able to find any evidence of same.

Package opens from a fold/over corner.

Back of the ACS out of the packaging.

The back of the valve is covered with a small 4×4 of Kerlix type gauze which should be removed and used to wipe away any excess blood from the adhesion site in order to help the ACS stick to the patient properly.

Top of the ACS showing the flutter valve which is essentially a large set of rubber lips (no jokes).

To expose the adhesive side of the ACS simply flip it over and grasp the small circular pull tab. The wax backing will peal off entirely and should be discarded.

Wax backing and exposed adhesive.

Closeup of exposed adhesive with patient end of the flutter valve.

Top of the ACS after exposing the adhesive.

ACS’s AS CARRIED BY ZOMBIE SQUAD MEMBERS

zXzGrifterxZx’s Trauma Bag

NFA’s Trauma Bag

SARFool’s Medical Roll

Gunny’s Stretcher Bag

EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES:

Army Study Guide

Thoracic Medical Journal Publishing

ICVTS Review of the ACS as used in clinical trials

EXCELLENT US Army PDF on pneumothorax injuries. Must read for any medic

WHERE TO BUY

Expect to pay between $11-$15 for each unit.

SUPPLY CAPTAIN
GOLDEN HOUR MED
PACIFIC RESCUE
GALLS
EBAY

Thanks for the read everyone. As always, if you’d like to comment on this article, please feel free to visit us on Zombie Squad’s First Aid Forum.

I would like to talk to you today about something that is less conservation oriented, but none the less relevant PAW information. You may have receive an e-mail or been told by a friend warning you about cleaning the top of your soda can because contamination from rat or mouse urine could kill you. Well like most e-mails, rumors, or wives tales only a grain of truth resides in it. While hygienically good, it is mostly false. The widely circulated story is apparently designed to warn everyone to clean the outside of a can before drinking.

The rumor says, for those uninformed reading this, a person (from Maui, Ohio, etc etc) had been exposed to rat droppings in a contaminated area. A couple days later the man is described as feeling something like the stomach flu, achy joints, headache and nausea. Within two days he was weak, ill, had yellow jaundiced eyes, and low blood sugar. He was the, allegedly, rushed to the hospital to the emergency room where he died within hours. According to the story nobody connected his death with the droppings until doctors asked whether the clerk had been in a warehouse type setting, or exposed to rat droppings depending on the version you hear.

Both TruthorFiction.com and Snopes.com has searched the news stories and death records and has not found anything to corroborate these stories. As I said before, like many rumors, it has some truth in it but not enough to link it to a specific name, place, time, or date. The most commonly forwarded rumors are the ones containing health warnings. We mostly care for those we send them to and when we hear something that might be a threat to them we pass them along. The problem with many of these is mostly they hold not provable facts, and have been fabricated to substantiate a person fear.

It’s possible that this rumor was the result of a very real concern over what is called Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome (HPS). According to the CDC Center for Disease Control, this condition can occur in humans and usually results from breathing FRESH, not ingesting dried as the rumor goes, of very specific mouse droppings; such as, deer mice, cotton mice, rice rats, and the white footed mouse.

An outbreak of the HPS took place in 1993 in the four corners area of the United States (the area of the US that Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, and Utah meet for our international readers). The CDC emphasizes that it is not spread by ordinary house mice or common rats, nor can be contracted by breathing dry fecal matter, or injecting dried matter.

As said before it’s a good idea, hygienically to clean your can.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hantavirus_pulmonary_syndrome

http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/raturine.asp

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/r/raturine.htm

Your Personal Evacuation Plan, collecting the proper gear for your Bug Out Bag, and First Aid Training are only parts of the whole Zombie Squad philosophy of being prepared for anything. A good Physical Fitness plan is also a key component to your survival. After all, you can have all the training and gear in the world, but if you can’t run more than a half a block without weezing and throwing up, you’ll be nothing but a Flesh Twinkie for the undead in a Zombocalypse.

A while back, Blogger The Slackmistress created The Post-Apocalyptic Workout, a blog dedicated to her inspiring journey to transform herself into a finely tuned instrument of survival against the shambling hordes. With the ultimate goal of not ending up on the menu of the walking dead, The Slackmistress is training herself physically and mentally, and she’s sharing her progress through videos, updates, and personal challenges to her readers. She shares her incredible story with Zombie Squad’s favorite whipping boy, Kyle, who interviewed her via email:

What exactly is the “Zombie Workout” or “Post-Apocalyptic Workout” and where did the idea come from?

Literally, this is how it came about:
http://www.zombieworkout.com/2008/03/intermission-fo.html
My husband and I were sitting on the couch on Christmas Day, drinking beer and eating cookies and watching the remake of Romero’s “Dawn of the Dead.” I started to think about Post-Apocalyptic Movies and how most everyone had some sort of skill or plan. When I got right down to it, my plan was “stay put until help arrives” or “scream loudly.”

The workout is to get myself into fighting shape for the zombie revolution and the post-apocalyptic world. Everything from being able to grow food to firearm use to RUNNING FOR MY LIFE. I was thinking of this as a year-long project but jokes aside, this is really a lifelong project. Which can be kind of overwhelming, when I think of it. Which is why it’s broken down into eight-week chunks.

What sort of reaction do you get from your friends and family in regard to this workout plan? Have they started whispering about you or putting more space between you and them? Have you motivated any of them to follow your lead towards getting prepared?

They think I’m crazy. Not Asylum-Crazy, but “isn’t it cute, she’s preparing for the Zombocalypse” ::pat pat::. First of all, my family is a bunch of smartasses, and so are my friends, so I popped out of the womb prepared for razzing. However, most of my family is sort of Post-Apocalypticly Useless (see: http://slackmistress.blip.tv/#700164 ) so THEY WON’T BE LAUGHING WHEN THE ZOMBIES COME, WILL THEY?

Alas, I have not motivated any family, but Internet Friends and Blogreaders have stepped up to the task. Sadly, none of them live nearby so I can’t slack off and then count on them when the proverbial poop hits the fan.

I do tell my husband that I love him, but he’s got a brain and opposable thumbs so I’m saving the dog and he’s on his own. Honest communication: a key to a happy marriage!

What are some of goals and training classes you have planned for your Post-Apocalyptic Workout?

I’ve already taken Basic First Aid and Infant, Child, and Adult CPR at the Red Cross. I’m going to learn lockpicking and firearms during this challenge, and I’ve got growing food, storing food, foraging, water purification, starting a fire sans matches, climbing/buildering, and orienteering. Of course, all of these skills aren’t a do-once-and-you’ve mastered them so even after I’ve learned them, I’ll continue to hone them with practice.

Physically, I’ve been doing a lot of running. I started out not being able to run longer than a minute and now I run 45 minutes a day, three times a week. I’m working on increasing my endurance and some basic muscular endurance and strength training. I’m also trying to pare about 10-15 pounds off my frame to make me a little faster (or to make me look like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2.)

What has been your favorite part about this training regimen so far?

The people I’ve met and corresponded with have been incredibly generous with their time and knowledge (that includes you Zombie Hunter folks!) If all y’all are representative of who’s going to restart civilization and begin a new society, I’d say let’s get this Apocalypse over and done with already.

It’s also given me a new perspective on personal responsibility and physical fitness. Clearly I’m not a one-woman Post-Apocalyptic Action Hero. I may never be one. But I’m thinking of health and welfare in a broader perspective - more than “wow, I need to lose fifteen pounds to fit my ass into a size 2″ and more “I need to get in shape to be able to outrun something that thinks I’m food.”

Is there anything in particular that you’ve learned during your training journey that surprised you or changed your opinion on the way you felt about something?

Hunting. Mind you, I haven’t done it yet, and I don’t know if I can or could. I wrote about it in a blog post (http://www.zombieworkout.com/2008/01/day-19-hunt-the.html) :

“It’s not the act of killing that scares me. It’s the idea that animals seem innocent. Hapless. Minding their own business. If I knew that Mr. Deer was a jerk who cut people off on the freeway on the way home from his job at the puppy-kicking factory, I’d be picking venison out of my teeth as I type this.”

People wrote about their hunting experiences - compared to how most meat is raised, hunting is way more…kind? Maybe that’s the wrong word. Humane? I eat meat, and even though I search out grassfed and organic and cage free and free range and all that garbage, I don’t think I could pick out my lunch and kill it. I am the first to admit that I am the most annoying kind of dirty hypocrite.

New Zombie Squad members often report that they find themselves spending more time analyzing their surroundings throughout the day to decide how they would survival a zombie out break or other disaster if it happened at that moment, while at the grocery store, work, school, laundry mat, etc. Have you noticed any new found obsession with this since the workout started?

YES. Now I’m 35, so I took Driver’s Ed back in the spring of 1988. They showed us all of these groovy films (yes, FILM!) on driving safety and such, and one of the films was ALWAYS LEAVE AN OUT, meaning always leave yourself an escape route when driving in case a madman comes barreling onto the freeway. Whenever I go somewhere new, I always think “where’s my out?” This is also why I think Buildering - scaling buildings - would be an awesome zombie-evading skill to have, because it gives you “up” as an escape option.

Your blog focuses on your individual development in preparation for the coming zombocalypse. Recent training films have showed us that sometimes working as a team can be more effective than remaining on your own. What steps, if any, have you taken to create a team of like-minded people who can be relied upon in an TEOTWAWKI* situation?

Working as a team is way more effective, I think. I must admit that I have taken no steps, minus putting out the blog. So, um, when the zombies come, I can just give you guys my number, right? Hello?

Your goal of conditioning yourself to be able to run away from zombies is great. Have you also given thought to where you will run and how you will survive once you get there?

Yes! Orienteering, building shelter, foraging, food growing and water purification are all Yet To Come. I also play a MEAN game of charades.

When are you going to start preparing for robots and aliens? We all know those are the real threats to our way of living.

Robots: I already worship at the Altar of my MacBook, so I’m pretty much screwed here. Aliens? There’s an anal probing joke to be made here. Just imagine I made it.

You guys rule, and I promise to stop in more often. I am always in need of people to help me out with the Post-Apocalyptic Workout, so if you’re in the Los Angeles area, look me up!

http://www.theslackdaily.com
http://www.zombieworkout.com