New Zombie Species Discovered

[Heem]

Dateline - Peoples Republik of Kalifornika, June 19, 2525
Report by Zager & Evans

New Species Discovered - Ecology of the "New Whacked Out Zombie"

Zombie hunters from around the globe are meeting over the weekend to hear about a new strain of recently identified zombie. For purposes of brevity they're called NWO Zombies. These NWO Zombs have mutated to the point that they dangerously resemble everyday people, except they are slow . . . both mentally and in their movements. There is a spacey look in their eyes accompanied by a musky body odor consistent with other zombies. They tend to mingle in with normal people very well and are hard to spot if not actively looking for them which is a real issue. One thing to look for is the mismatched clothing, almost like someone is trying to look human, but not quite pulling it off. Be careful once you do spot one! Don't approach it and question it's mindless existence, you'll just piss it off causing it to attack.

The reason for the designation "Whacked Out" is that although they can mingle quite harmlessly with humans, once they know they have been identified . . . they will attack quite viciously. This is the dead give away you are dealing with an NWO Zombie. Snarling, hissing ,spitting, they will come right at you without warning. They rely on confusing their potential victim with shrill noise and strong underarm body odor. Your stomach will churn and heave, be prepared to retch. If they have a drink in their hand it will be thrown in your eyes.

Like all zombies, their goal is to turn normal people into helpless zombies like themselves.

As a side note, an infestation of these NWO creatures has been identified on this very website by Zombie Watch International. You should be able to tell who they are by the protests that will more than likely follow in this post. ZWI predicts some hissing.
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"Evil unchecked grows, evil tolerated poisons the entire system."
- Jawaharlal Nehru

[Lono]

Yep, I totally agree - liked the Zager & Evans reference.

[Mangangali]

camouflaging zombies, that mingle instead of attack? OH you mean LURKERS?

[DJOokami]

I see...Exactly what are the cognitive limitations of these new zeds? You say they can mingle into everyday society discretely, but what does that mean? If a physicist working on the Large HADRON Collider was infected by this new breed would anyone notice? What is the cognitive capacity of these things? Does their intelligence stem from natural ability or immitation? Please let me know- the sooner the better. I dont like to be out of the loop on important zombiology breakthroughs.

And always remember to prioritize your targets- the closer the zeds, the sooner they need to die.

Whitney

[PistolPete]

Why Heem, if you are intelligent and clever, it seems as if you are trying to use a zombie metaphor to speak commentary on politics.

Or maybe you are just making up a silly story. Either way, I look forward to your future contributions.

[whateverdude]

Hmm these almost sound like German tourists, some have pretty good English but they're just a bit off, and the dead giveaway is socks with sandals. NWO zombies could hide perfectly well as German Tourists. Beware!

[Heem]

Update :::: June 20, 2525

I'm back from the worm hole, back from the past, October 21, 2010 to be precise. It's amazing to see the gestation of these things in real time of prehistory. I spent the past year and a half back tracking these NWO Zombies to their origins, or close to it in space warp time. The infestation is so vast in certain urban areas as to make them seem the norm. I don't hold much hope for the real people of that time, they don't seem to see the danger standing in front of them. I brought back an example of mass zombie attacks from a news report posted on a primitive form of communication called the internet:

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/protest ... nd-greece/

Oh the humanity! Who cries for the zombies!

[carolinafan]

Hmm these almost sound like German tourists, some have pretty good English but they're just a bit off, and the dead giveaway is socks with sandals. NWO zombies could hide perfectly well as German Tourists. Beware!

Don't forget the capri pants and little backpacks!

[Jeriah]

liked the Zager & Evans reference.

I appreciated that as well.

[Electricity]

I spent the past year and a half back tracking..

Is that anything like back tracing?

[Bricona]

It's like guerilla warfare!

[Jenny]

Those sound like Lurkers. They sneak real close before attacking. They use stealth. They are as nasty as Iron Maidens. Only worse.

[DarkAxel]

I'd say this belongs in the Art section.

Anyone else agree?

[Heem]

Damn wormholes - You can get into a situation coming out of one of them where time stutters and you're in two places at once - I hate when that happens.

Anyway, here is a photo of a French NWO Zombie attack from the article I linked above. You can't make this stuff up! I just noticed it has a drink in its hand - dead give away & look at that shirt! Those zombie hunters in the photo knew what they were up against and are using their shields to stop the fluid attack which almost always comes first.



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"Give a man a fire and he will be warm for a night. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life."

[damienundeaddeader]

is this for real...i dont believe people can believe this?? zombies are real and yall are making them seem like a friggen joke...the cdc has a zombie apocalypse section...it can and will happen but there are no zombie outbreaks that we yet know about...or will ever hear about...if this site is dedicated to the killing of zombies then im all for it cuz its what i was born to do but this is ridiculous...looking at pictures of some drunk guy with water in his hand isnt exactly proof..zombies have necrosis of the skin and all have very limited functions...please people recognize real zombies before you end up murdering drunk tourists...

[Heem]

Update:::: April 1, 2525

Zooooooooooooo....WOMP - The time transporter worked perfect this time, not like when I last posted.

Yes DamienUnderUdder, this is real.

Since I was last here almost a year ago, things have gotten much worse than I could have ever imagined in such a short period of time. The Zombie contagion has spread like a nuclear explosion fueled fire storm in a fireworks factory. It has already jumped the ocean to the USSA - I've been corrected at times that it is the USA, and yes it is in your time. But in the year 2525 it is now the USSA - The United Socialist States of Amerika - a world wide entity that is in total power on the Earth. The NWO Zombies have taken over and now farm what is left of the human population, making them slaves to work and produce for the ruling class non-working Zombie population. Anyway, here's an example of what I found on returning (you may want to read below before playing the video, for recognition)::


BREAKING NEWS::: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s78RiYt0Lgk


Did you see the Zombie indicators in the "people"? Those are NWO Zombies. Many, many indicators here::

Check the NWO Zomb at 0:02 with the florescent green skullcap (still the image)::

1) A mindless fascination in his eyes - you can tell that if you waved a shiny object in front of him, he'd be transfixed in place for hours.

2) The apparel. - classic (see the 1st post)

3) Notice how he follows inane requests willingly. A live human would not do this.


Check the Zombie Dance at 0:20, that is good stuff::

1) Notice the intensity.

2) Again with the mindless following of orders from superior Zombie handlers.

3) Pack mentality.

4) Again, the apparel.

5) Something I've never witnessed before . . . notice how the dance morphed into ape-like movements - fascinating.


At 0:40 - the drumming::

1) NWO Zombies, like all Zombies, are mesmerized by the simple consistent beat of a drum. If you see a preponderance of repetition drumming by a group of mouth breathers, you are looking at NWO Zombies.


Also::

At 2:00 notice the short easy sentences being used and the obvious satisfaction in the use of limited inane thought. Classic NWO Zombie indicators. The Zombie is right though in saying "We are everywhere".

At 2:20 you can see these NWO Zombies getting whipped up into a frenzy. Time to vacate the infected zone.

[Fletch]

I fail to see the funny.

[PistolPete]

Let's keep the political commentary out of the zombie mythology stories please.

[MacWa77ace]

is this for real...i dont believe people can believe this?? zombies are real and yall are making them seem like a friggen joke...the cdc has a zombie apocalypse section...it can and will happen but there are no zombie outbreaks that we yet know about...or will ever hear about...if this site is dedicated to the killing of zombies then im all for it cuz its what i was born to do but this is ridiculous...looking at pictures of some drunk guy with water in his hand isnt exactly proof..zombies have necrosis of the skin and all have very limited functions...please people recognize real zombies before you end up murdering drunk tourists...

Necrosis of the skin may be a tell tale sign on the classic undead, but there is more than one Zed type, some of which have yet to be discovered. And the best way to recognize and dispose of these types are, definetly, proper discussion here. Have you seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers or Invasion? Its just DDDZ [different day different zombie]. Keep your eyes open for the not so obvious or you'll be one of the first removed from the hunt.

[Projo]

LOL, awesome. The snarling, hissing, spitting of the NWO made me think of this.

[Heem]

LOL, awesome. The snarling, hissing, spitting of the NWO made me think of this.

[TrackerJax]

Can we get this thread deleted by a mod please? It seems to clearly violate at least a couple of the basic ZS forum rules.

[Miss Nothing]

Hmm these almost sound like German tourists, some have pretty good English but they're just a bit off, and the dead giveaway is socks with sandals. NWO zombies could hide perfectly well as German Tourists. Beware!

Don't forget the capri pants and little backpacks!

Fannypacks too!!