strangest thing you have ever seen

[meatshieldChris]

my life is like YT's, whacky things happen weekly so I can't remember them, it's all overload.

one comes to mind (it was fairly recent, and no it's not the kid with the SAK getting piss beaten out of him). I was in the near by gas station at about 2 pm getting some snacks, and there was a guy infront of me, scrawny, dirty sweat suit, ratty OD canvas backpack, with headphones on, with a cassette walkman type thingger on his waist. I used to listen to so much metallica in highschool I can pick out a song from the first 10 seconds of the intro, and usually within the first few beats. Four horsemen is one of those. I recognised the drum track of four horsemen tweeting out of his headphones, so I go "hey man, cool, four horsemen".

he spins around, slaps the headphones off of his head, grabs the side of his head with one hand, sticks his other hand in his bag and screams "AAHHH! FUCK! AAAHHH ASSS! AAHHHH AAAAHHHH AAHHHHH! I thought I was safe from you fuckers in canada!", pulls out a ball cap covered in tin foil, jams it on his head, and rushes out of the store leaving his wallet and newly purchased goods on the floor. Best I figure, he thought I was reading his mind and knew what he was listening to.

and somehow, this guy managed to get through the border crossing.

more to come. great thread.

[razi]

my life is like YT's, whacky things happen weekly so I can't remember them, it's all overload.

one comes to mind (it was fairly recent, and no it's not the kid with the SAK getting piss beaten out of him). I was in the near by gas station at about 2 pm getting some snacks, and there was a guy infront of me, scrawny, dirty sweat suit, ratty OD canvas backpack, with headphones on, with a cassette walkman type thingger on his waist. I used to listen to so much metallica in highschool I can pick out a song from the first 10 seconds of the intro, and usually within the first few beats. Four horsemen is one of those. I recognised the drum track of four horsemen tweeting out of his headphones, so I go "hey man, cool, four horsemen".

he spins around, slaps the headphones off of his head, grabs the side of his head with one hand, sticks his other hand in his bag and screams "AAHHH! FUCK! AAAHHH ASSS! AAHHHH AAAAHHHH AAHHHHH! I thought I was safe from you fuckers in canada!", pulls out a ball cap covered in tin foil, jams it on his head, and rushes out of the store leaving his wallet and newly purchased goods on the floor. Best I figure, he thought I was reading his mind and knew what he was listening to.

and somehow, this guy managed to get through the border crossing.

more to come. great thread.

ha!

[Zombie Reaper]

Wow, just, wow!!!

Tell my brother that mom wants her cap back.

[thepaleman]

Its a little out of context but it's still mind boggling. A group of English guys chase a cheese wheel down a steep hill into the waiting arms of a rugby team. A yearly event. Cheese Rolling.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1246877/c ... mpetition/

[Slugg]

One time I walked outside at night to wave down a friend I had on the phone. He was picking me up. I leaned on a decent size tree and if fell down. There was a guy in a white gorilla suit in it. I didn't know who he was and he was in my yard. He stayed in the trees till I left. Then I saw him run away holding his arm.

[Arch]

This definitely is NOT the strangest, but its one of the stupidest:

Naked fat people walking around my college campus painted in primary colors (everything was painted one color). We called them the "Crayola Kids"...except...they all looked like Chunk on The Goonies +50 pounds

EDIT: Forgot to mention...it was Fall Semester....and it was cold. Sorry guys....it wasn't work'n for da ladies.

I've seen too many strange things to list.

EDIT 2: I'm married.

[Arch]

Here's a strange, but true story....

My uncle was a WW2 & gun nut so when I was 10 he took all of my life savings and bought me an AR15. He, I, and his friends would dress up and hike around this WW2 vet's farm. This old guy is a weird story in of itself (6'-2" tall, blond, blue eyes, German name, German accent, etc..........but.........."he served under Patton during the war"......). Anyway, we would go to this old man's house....dressed in camo, field gear & bearing military rifles........he'd open the door with a single barrel shotgun...see it was us...let us in. He'd then proceed to tell us weird stories about conspiracies, aliens, etc. Then he'd tell us to run off anyone tresspasing on his substaintial property. We'd head out, in full gear, and walk around his farm at night. One night, my uncle's best friend decided to spy on the old guy. He crawled up to a window with the light on, and came back 1/2 scared and 1/2 laughing. He wouldn't tell us why. We crawled up to see for ourselves....

The old guy was standing in front of a mirror, naked...and....saluting, while striking a nazi salute and saying something in German.

I never took chewing gum from him again (he always gave us each a pack of Juicy Fruit gum).

I did feel sorry for him (his wife was long gone, and he was clearly lonely), but the whole nekkid nazi deal was too much.

He did give me a copy of the book "WEIRD AMERICA" for a gift once.

Unfortunately, this story is 100% true.

EDIT: If anyone is interested, I'll tell about the weird ass cabin on his property...complete with looked like the remnants of "burnt sacrifices", pentagrams drawn all of the place, etc. His property also had a bunch of weird wood structures built on it. I was 10 (1984) when this was going on. When I went to see BLAIR WITCH at the theater I FREAKED OUT, because those "stick people" reminded me of crap we saw out on his property.

A bunch of bizarre people came and went from this group of friends. We saw some totally weird stuff.

[Brash]

Oh wow that just reminded me of something I saw as a kid. On the mountain behind my grand parents place there was this old red brick building with a big old steel door and no windows. For years we wondered what it was until someone broke the door open. Lord knows how. We went inside and there was just a bunch of pipes and water pumping machinery and pentagrams and obscene shit scrawled all over the walls. We got freaked out and left when we heard something move in the back and we thought someone was sleeping in there.

Well anyway, we were walking past there the next summer and water shot out of the ground. It was the wierdest thing. Huge fucing arc of water making a massive rainbow in the sky. So we played in it for an hour before we got cold and went home. Next day some guys came out to fix the burst pipe. Turns out the building was a pumping station pumping water to the houses at the top of the mountain. Still as a kid seeing that it was the wierdest fucking thing. We all stood there for a moment with our mouths hanging open when it happened.

[wolf_from_wv]

EDIT: If anyone is interested,

that's like saying, "I figured out an easy, legal way to make a bunch of money. Would anyone like to know?" ...

[URBAN ASSAULT]

Not the strangest thing, but it falls into the 'different' category.

I was riding in a car with my parents when I was about 10 years old, near Rockwood, Oregon.

This is in the outlying area east of Portland.

We were sitting at a stoplight when I looked over at a house and saw two completely naked girls come jogging out.

They were very young, blonde IIRC, probably 13 or 14 years old and were wearing what looked like just a couple of purple ribbons.

Let me tell you, ribbons do NOT provide much cover! .

They stood in the front yard laughing hysterically and danced around for 15 or 20 seconds, it actually looked kind of like some sort of jig, and then they grabbed each others arms and ran back into the house.

I remember that they were developed enough that there was much jiggling going on.

My mom quietly said 'Did you see that too?', and I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. My dad never saw anything.

My mom was absolutely furious and wanted to go back to the house and tell the parents about what was going on with these girls, but we were late for something so it was a no-go.

I am not ashamed to admit that since I was a healthy, extremely curious 10-year old boy at the time, those girls made a searing impact on my memory back then !

-urban

[JibbaJabba]

*moves to Oregon*

[GeneralDiscontent]

For some reason that reminded me of one I forgot:

I work overnights, and a lot of times I'll go out to get "lunch" at around 2AM - which is right when all the bars close. Since I work right next to a college campus, the fast-food drive thru's are usually PACKED at that time. I was sitting in line at the Taco Bell drive-thru one night behind a carload of twentysomething girls, most of whom were obviously REALLY drunk. One of them squirms out of the back seat, halfway falls out of the passenger window onto the pavement, runs out into the middle of the parking lot, squats & hikes up her skirt, and proceeds to empty her bladder in front of the 10 or so cars waiting in line. Needless to say, there was a whole lot of honking, flashing lights, and hooting from the crowd...

[Arch]

Not the strangest thing, but it falls into the 'different' category.

I was riding in a car with my parents when I was about 10 years old, near Rockwood, Oregon.

This is in the outlying area east of Portland.

We were sitting at a stoplight when I looked over at a house and saw two completely naked girls come jogging out.

They were very young, blonde IIRC, probably 13 or 14 years old and were wearing what looked like just a couple of purple ribbons.

Let me tell you, ribbons do NOT provide much cover! .

They stood in the front yard laughing hysterically and danced around for 15 or 20 seconds, it actually looked kind of like some sort of jig, and then they grabbed each others arms and ran back into the house.

I remember that they were developed enough that there was much jiggling going on.

My mom quietly said 'Did you see that too?', and I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. My dad never saw anything.

My mom was absolutely furious and wanted to go back to the house and tell the parents about what was going on with these girls, but we were late for something so it was a no-go.

I am not ashamed to admit that since I was a healthy, extremely curious 10-year old boy at the time, those girls made a searing impact on my memory back then !

-urban

I graduated from a very liberal university so nekkid people weren't that uncommon. This story reminded me of one:

My major had to notoriously work late in our building...which sat on the edge of campus directly between the "bar scene" and three very large on-campus dorms. Periodically late at night, you'd look out the windows and see something odd walking down the street. I remember seeing two girls and a dorky guy walking along one night. One of the girls was totally topless (carrying her shirt and bra in her hand)...they were clearly drunk, but the dweebie guy had the biggest / cheesiest smile on his face as he walked along staring at the girl's chest. I pointed this out to someone in the room, and we all watched (boobs after all)....the guy walked right into a street lamp pole. I couldn't hear the sound his head made as he ran into it, but my mind inserted a big "BONG" sound. He went flat out on his back.

After laughing hysterically for a few moments, it was back to the boobs.....

[Jhangles]

Jhangles:

You are referring to the Capuchin monkey.

Yes!! That's the one!

[Zombie Reaper]

I was at an exorcism where I watched an 8-yr old girl toss a 265 lb. man into a wall with one arm.

I also witnessed a woman climb up a wall backwards with no supports, gear, mag-lev units, assistance, or effort.

Many more of those, I watch Ghost Hunters and laugh.

Fell free to say I am a liar, you were not there...

[ZMace]

I am a liar, you were not there... Ok, now what?

[Raydarkhorse]

I saw a man knocked out by a biscuit once. I was working as a correctional officer in Texas at the time, and in this particular unit the chow halls were huge. We had a man working there (I'll keep his name out of this) who was a round as he was tall. He and I were working the chow hall one day. Me near the serving line him by the exit. We had been in there for about an hour when I heard an inmate yell this officer’s name. I turned around and saw something hit him between the eyes and he went to the ground. I ran to him and found him semi unconscious. He was lying there with his eyes opened but unresponsive to me. I called for help and they arrived with medical staff and took him to the infirmary. As they picked him up and put him on the gurney I recovered the biscuit.

[Arch]

I saw a man knocked out by a biscuit once. I was working as a correctional officer in Texas at the time, and in this particular unit the chow halls were huge. We had a man working there (I'll keep his name out of this) who was a round as he was tall. He and I were working the chow hall one day. Me near the serving line him by the exit. We had been in there for about an hour when I heard an inmate yell this officer’s name. I turned around and saw something hit him between the eyes and he went to the ground. I ran to him and found him semi unconscious. He was lying there with his eyes opened but unresponsive to me. I called for help and they arrived with medical staff and took him to the infirmary. As they picked him up and put him on the gurney I recovered the biscuit.

Fat guy dropped by flying biscuit......there is cosmetic balance and humor!

[DrthTater]

this is a quote from my myspace page from about 2 years ago...

I once worked at a retail establishment where, randomly, someone would go into the bathroom, mens or womens, and poo.

All over the place.

It was on the walls, the floor, everywhere.

My friend and I gave this person the moniker "The Mad Defecater." It waas catchy, and hilarious. Especially since we never cleaned it.

Well, I've finally come across evidence of The Mad Defecater's accomplice.

I'm currently temping at a construction site pulling network cable. I know... Exciting stuff. But it pays. Anyway, it seems that everywhere I turn, I find bottles of pee. Water bottles, gatorade bottles. Just bottles. Full of pee. It's gross.

Jack the Pisser strikes again.

[Arch]

this is a quote from my myspace page from about 2 years ago...

I once worked at a retail establishment where, randomly, someone would go into the bathroom, mens or womens, and poo.

All over the place.

It was on the walls, the floor, everywhere.

My friend and I gave this person the moniker "The Mad Defecater." It waas catchy, and hilarious. Especially since we never cleaned it.

Well, I've finally come across evidence of The Mad Defecater's accomplice.

I'm currently temping at a construction site pulling network cable. I know... Exciting stuff. But it pays. Anyway, it seems that everywhere I turn, I find bottles of pee. Water bottles, gatorade bottles. Just bottles. Full of pee. It's gross.

Jack the Pisser strikes again.

The poo story reminds me of a job I had in college:

I worked at a theater while I was in college as a "Doorman" (watched the doors, checked movies for kids having sex, etc). On one occasion a female (assuming here since it was in the female restroom) smeared crap all over the toilet stalls and mirror. We're not talking about someone with a natural diet either....it was lumpy.

After the movies ended, the concession girls would have to clean the theaters.....they would come out with girl's panties, condom wrappers, beer cans, booze bottles, and one occasion a dildo.

People would come out of the movies to complain about people being to noisy, and my job was to go in with a flash light and warn them. (3rd time in and they were thrown out). Anyway, I had the privilege of seeing all sorts of funny stuff this way. One idiot let his GF handcuff him to the drink-holder in the seat after pulling his pants down, and then proceeded to drop the key. The floors sloped (theater seating)...so the GF had to climb over the seat and ask me to find the key. Obviously I walked in and shined a light right on the guy (who was unhappy about the situation). He did have underwear on.

[Y.T.]

this is a quote from my myspace page from about 2 years ago...

I once worked at a retail establishment where, randomly, someone would go into the bathroom, mens or womens, and poo.

All over the place.

It was on the walls, the floor, everywhere.

My friend and I gave this person the moniker "The Mad Defecater." It waas catchy, and hilarious. Especially since we never cleaned it.

Well, I've finally come across evidence of The Mad Defecater's accomplice.

I'm currently temping at a construction site pulling network cable. I know... Exciting stuff. But it pays. Anyway, it seems that everywhere I turn, I find bottles of pee. Water bottles, gatorade bottles. Just bottles. Full of pee. It's gross.

Jack the Pisser strikes again.

We had that once in an office I worked at. Yep, an office, not a public facility where random people were using the restroom. Someone was going into the women's room and shitting in strange ways... like making a huge pile on the seat, or smearing it all over the walls or mirror. This was somewhat unsettling, and funny, because I couldn't picture any of the co-workers doing this. And it meant you were kinda looking at the people around you thinking "is that the one? is that the crazy shitter?" I think they finally discovered that it was the night janitor. Who apparently didn't understand the point of his job.

[Arch]

This was somewhat unsettling, and funny, because I couldn't picture any of the co-workers doing this. And it meant you were kinda looking at the people around you thinking "is that the one? is that the crazy shitter?"

LOL - we have someone in my company that routinely craps on the back of the toilet seat....I mean dead on it....by the time I get there its a big streak down the seat and into the bowl. My department jokingly talks about the "feces artist". I suspect I know who it is (REALLY big guy), but can't prove it.

[Brash]

Had that at a job in an office before that had a similar thing going on. Someone was crapping in urinals, sinks, cisterns, and even once a horrific liquid turd just sprayed against a wall. We were all suspicious of each other for a while but as things got worse we started accusing other floors of coming and shitting in 'our' toilets.

Turned out it was a homeless guy getting in the back fire escape when people went outside for a cigarette. They'd just assumed he worked there because he was always just smiling and walking in right past them. Security caught him at it.

[psychomajortom]

Not so weird as disconcerting...
My cousin, grandfather, and I were going to a shooting range. This may have 4 days after the Assault Weps ban ended. Not much longer, anyhow. We had a new AR-15 to test and this range was perfect, usually empty. We had sighted in a long-range specialized AR the day before, and the only person there besides us was a very king AK enthusiast who spotted our target for us. I say that to say this. On this second day at the range, there were about 5 goth kids shooting...wait for it...hi-point pistols. The epic fail was visible from where we were, about 20 yards away. Well these people were scary as f___. SO grandpa just nonchalantly stares at them while he chambers one in the AR carbine. He handed me that one and loaded a Glock we were shooting that day and just stared until the (WAY too young for CCW permit, maybe 17) kids put their guns into their full-length jackets and left. I was like 15 maybe, and just stood there mezmerized by this AR that i was apparently expected to know how to work.