Prometheus

[KentsOkay]

Ridley Scott produce prequel set in the Alien universe. Sooo much potential, but it felt like a dick punch almost as much as Sucker Punch was.

I'll give a spoiler laced review later.

[TacAir]

My son went to see it.

His review - don't even waste money on the DVD. Bad - stinky bad.

If it comes on the movie channel, don't waste the electricity to see it, you can't get your hour and something back bad.

So, ya - I'll take a pass.

[majorhavoc]

Wow. This is SO disappointing.

[Rev]

I'm torn. Everyone says it's awful, but they said the same thing about John Carter and I actually liked that movie.

[Jeriah]

I am going to go on the record here as saying only that I am glad I spent my money to see it for myself. Don't walk into it expecting Alien 0.5 or whatever, and just let it be its own sci-fi flick. I enjoyed it. Because, let's be honest: Deep down, there's somewhere that we all want to pretend that we could go back in time and unmake Alien 3, 4, AVP, Predators, and Prometheus, and just have Alien, Aliens, Predator, and Predator 2, and then start over from there. But it's too late. Shit, I want to see the Predator prequel where the Predator kills Mel Gibson from The Patriot to get that flintlock pistol...

Also, for the record, I actually liked Alien 3. I just know that nobody else does.

[Rugger]

I enjoyed it. It's not the blood and guts gun pron that most of them have been, but a good sci-fi backstory that explained what they were and where they came from, I thought. I had to miss the last damn 5-10 minutes of it, but I'm hoping it was pretty much tied up at that point. Or at least I tied it up in my mind. From what I saw, I can see how it fit in nicely with the beginning of Alien. But no, it's not like the others, at all.

[Evan the Diplomat]

The movie stands on its own, but fails as part of the Alien continum. It did have its moments and I have another reason to be jealouse of Michael Fassbender.

[chills1994]

I liked it.

I was whooped at the theater, so I just sat back almost braindead like and absorbed the movie passively.

SPOILER ALERT:

I found it interesting, the references to religion would actually tie into some verses in the Bible's book of Ezekiel.

There is a fan website.

There is also a FAQ page for it at IMDB.com .

From another forum, a lot of guys got their panties in a wad because they got to thinking too much and the movie asked them more questions than it answered.

In due time i reckon.... that's what the next 2 movies will be about.

[chills1994]

huh!?

That would be interesting if the Engineers created the Predators in order to keep the Alien attackers/drones/soldiers in check.

I think it was on this forum where I read that 55 minutes got cut off this Prometheus movie, which should be available on a director's cut DVD or Blu-Ray.

[carolinafan]

I actually really liked the movie, even though it does leave some gaps between it and Alien. Like others have said, if you go into it expecting a lot of Alien references, you'll be disappointed. I did have to think about a couple of things to answer some questions I had, but I thought it was really well done.

(Full disclosure, I liked AVP-the first one- and Predators too)

[KentsOkay]

Time for my review, with spoilers.

What it had going for it:


These three character where very well acted, Fassbot the Android was particularly excellent. I'd give him a goddamn Academy Award for how well he acted in this movie, if it weren't for the fact he probably only looks so good because everything else was so bad.

Opening sequence, what the fuck? It was fucking epic, but as we learn what the shit was, what was it all about? Was he committing suicide? Abandoned? Makes no sense, I demand an explanation. Only porn is allowed to invent stupidity or refuse to explain in a sensible manner why something happened, just so we can see it happen.

All right cool, they land, all of that good stuff. Then the botanist and geologist or whatever freak out and decide to head back to ship, this is reasonable. They didn't sign up to get fucked by aliens. What is unreasonable is they somehow managed to get lost. despite being in constant contact with a ship that can pinpoint them on a holographic 3d map. Bull fucking shit. Also, Fassbot starts fucking with bad shit, that's cool, he obviously is pissed with humans.

Then the scaredy cat botanist or geologist, I can't honestly remember which one, find a goddamn alien. After having spent hours running away from a life signs detector signal of one, they dumbass starts messing with it. The alien is obviously pissed but still, he keeps messing with it. I guess after seeing Cobra-Hooded, Acid Blood Rape Worms the guy suddenly gets a warm fuzzy feeling about alien life. Stupidity happens, they get fucked.

About here an intense scene happens and Fassbot poisons Girl With Dragon Tattoo's Booty Call. Close observation of the tricky finger play indicates Fassbot poisoned GwDTsBC afte he said he'd die for his science or some shit. This continues to make sense, assuming Fassbot hates humanity because they are dicks and made him "because they could". Somewhere there is a shot of the vehicles driving back and forth to the Alien Doom Temple that makes no sense (more vehicles coming back then they left with, somebody herped a derp there).

Shit goes down, and GwDT is pregnant with Alien Monster Baby. She uses the super medical robot to do a Cesarean (and is obviously full of will to live unlike the last heroine we know who got a c-section from a robot). Somehow this information doesn't get to the rest of the crew/is ignored. Creepy Old Dude is still alive, which was predictable and not unexpected.

The troop goes off to go see the Albino Engineer Alien. At first he seems pleased, then he gets pissed and kills almost everyone, Heroine plays Protaginitis and gets away. I do enjoy how we don't know what Fassbot said to AEA. My interpretation is that AEA is pleased that his creations have come back to do him honor, but after realizing Fassbot is a creation of his creations, he gets pissed (Only AEA's can play god it seems) and smashes all his nice toys. He goes to finish smashing Earth, and Brave Black Captain won't take anymore of this shit. BBC epically collides the Prometheus into AEA's Murder Crescent Ship, and with BBC's sacrifice the day is saved, right? I hated this scene because the second trailer gave it away. I want to punch whoever made and approved that trailer multiple times in the dick with a pineapple. It would have been like revealing Bruce Willis was dead in the trailer for Sixth Sense. Worst. Trailer. Ever. I saw this trailer when I went to watch some other movie and I was very upset about seeing the two ships crashing, which was obviously a major thing going down.

Anyway, GwDT and Charlize Theron run away from the crashing ship in the stupidest way possible, GwDT rolls a 20 on agility and manages to not die but alas, no more Charlize

Fassbot tells GwDT that BBC's attack failed and AEA is out to make her into soup. Big fight in the life pod and AMB has turned into Alien Tentacle Rape Monster. ATRM makes AEA into a snack, GwDT gets away and fetches Fassbot. She commits to finding more AEAs and fucking their shit up. I do hope this plays out in further movies, I very much want to see GwDT carrying around Fassbot's talking head and teaching the AEAs a lesson in ass whooping. Anyway they get into another MCS and fly off into the stars. Alien Rape Monster Nightmare Fuel emerges from AEA, looks all set to fuck shit up as soon as it's steady on its legs. After steadying itself, it raises its Fucking Murder Tail and takes a giant steamer right on top of the Alien versus Predator lore and franchise.

Improve the portions I highlighted above that made no sense, and it would've been a great movie. For me the issues I had with it broke my suspension of disbelief and completely killed the movie for me. Also, fuck the fucking trailer. Not only did the shot of the ships colliding spoil it, I feel they portrayed this movie as Epic Nightmare Fuel. The sound of the wailing siren creeps me right the fuck out. I was anticipating a good bit of this movie spent with the crew getting shredded by ARMNFs to that mind fucking, nerve destroying, insanity inducing, nightmare soundtrack of a siren. I am bitterly disappointed in the lack of such.

This movie could have been awesome. So awesome. I can't help but feel the same way I did after watching Sucker Punch, that the film maker tempted me with the tastiest of cake then told me there was none and gave me broccoli, all because I suck and don't deserve good movies.



Fassbot was still awesome, and I'd totally watch a sequel if it involves GwDT fucking up AEAs for being dicks.

[proteus]

My big complaint of the movie was out of all of humanity to send to meet a possible alien life form...one that could have given rise to humanity this is the very best that Earth could send?? I have seen smarter people and people with more common sense in an elementary school...

SPOILERS

how do you get lost with a holographic map that shows you where to go?? And who in there right mind would try to pet some weird alien life form that they just stumbled across?? These are supposed to be scientists?? End of Rant...

[Rugger]

DO NOT go into this expecting another aliens movie. Not yet anyway. Supposedly there are going to be three prequels, ala Star Wars.

Major spoilers in this FAQ link, and it answers all of KentsOkay's questions I think. Some of the answers are given by Ridley Scott. After reading some of the answers, I like the movie even more.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1446714/faq

[carolinafan]

Fassbot was effing creepy as that android. Great acting job there.

Possible spoiler alert!!!!








As far as the AEA in the beginning, I think we were seeing them create us on primordial Earth.

[KentsOkay]

My big complaint of the movie was out of all of humanity to send to meet a possible alien life form...one that could have given rise to humanity this is the very best that Earth could send?? I have seen smarter people and people with more common sense in an elementary school...

SPOILERS

how do you get lost with a holographic map that shows you where to go?? And who in there right mind would try to pet some weird alien life form that they just stumbled across?? These are supposed to be scientists?? End of Rant...

See above tirade, I didn't think about the other portion of it though. At least in Stargate they sent Kurt Russel/MacGuyver.

[Rugger]

Fassbot was effing creepy as that android. Great acting job there.

Possible spoiler alert!!!!








As far as the AEA in the beginning, I think we were seeing them create us on primordial Earth.

You are correct. That sequence showed it's (quad helix?) dna being broken down and recombined into a double helix structure.

[KentsOkay]

So I read the FAQ's. A friend had commented that the AEA's "suicide"looked like "pollination", but last I checked biology doesn't work like that. Are we saying is DNA seed made bacteria then fishes, frogs, frogdogs, ape, then people? And people came out looking like AEA?

I demand more movies to explain this shit! No movie should require a guide book for thinking audiences to understand it (other than Lord of the Rings, which still managed to not need a guidebook).

[Red_Snow]

I am going to go on the record here as saying only that I am glad I spent my money to see it for myself. Don't walk into it expecting Alien 0.5 or whatever, and just let it be its own sci-fi flick. I enjoyed it. Because, let's be honest: Deep down, there's somewhere that we all want to pretend that we could go back in time and unmake Alien 3, 4, AVP, Predators, and Prometheus, and just have Alien, Aliens, Predator, and Predator 2, and then start over from there. But it's too late.

This. I took the wife to see this yesterday and taken as a movie on its own it was better then most of the other crap we've seen so far this year.

Shit, I want to see the Predator prequel where the Predator kills Mel Gibson from The Patriot to get that flintlock pistol...

Also, for the record, I actually liked Alien 3. I just know that nobody else does.

Yeah... not so much...

[carolinafan]

So I read the FAQ's. A friend had commented that the AEA's "suicide"looked like "pollination", but last I checked biology doesn't work like that. Are we saying is DNA seed made bacteria then fishes, frogs, frogdogs, ape, then people? And people came out looking like AEA?

I demand more movies to explain this shit! No movie should require a guide book for thinking audiences to understand it (other than Lord of the Rings, which still managed to not need a guidebook).

It also helps if you don't ask too many questions lol. Less headaches that way How dare we question the science of movies!

[Red_Snow]

Also, is it just me or when Mohawked Geologist of Hate comes back from the dead, is that not a full on "The Thing" reference with the way his body was folded up and crawling?

[KentsOkay]

Also, is it just me or when Mohawked Geologist of Hate comes back from the dead, is that not a full on "The Thing" reference with the way his body was folded up and crawling?

MGH was definitely giving off a Alien Murder Head Spider vibe.

[BigDaddyTX]

I thought this was pretty good..

http://failblog.org/2012/06/15/mobile-p ... -spoilers/

[KentsOkay]

I thought this was pretty good..

http://failblog.org/2012/06/15/mobile-p ... -spoilers/

Sums it up perfectly

[chills1994]

^^^ LOL

Punching somebody in the dick with a pineapple... I LOL'ed.