"Los Muertos desde Los Vivos"
****Warning: Opens with diversionary narcissistic silliness followed by graphic zombie mayhem
When I entered the parking lot of the McDonald's on Route 151, I knew it was a bad idea. It was a bad idea for several reasons that I was aware of and one life-altering reason I could not have ever imagined.
Inconsequentially, I was aware that I had just finished working out at Planet Fitness and eating junk food would sort of nullify the beneficial effects of my previous workout. Furthermore, since entering the money pool of co-workers in our office's unofficial "biggest loser" weight-loss contest 3 weeks ago, I had only lost a grand total of 3 pounds. Others were fairing much better. "Steveo" , with his Atkins, "I only eat meat /Caveman diet", had lost more than 15 pounds so far. I tried the Atkins diet once in the past. Sure enough, I lost a lot of weight, but in the process, I felt like a zombie -- emaciated and week from carbohydrate withdrawal. No, Dr. Atkins, your diet was not for me. Come on! How could someone, whose palate was predisposed to eating pasta fazool, eat beef jerky and eggs all day.? No, for me, it would have to be done a different way. I figured if I kept working-out I would develop the necessary willpower to eventually get my diet under control and I would be reborn as a fit man. Circumstances conspired to make my dream become a reality, but it took the death of modern civilization to do it. But I will get to that part shortly.
So, for all I knew, eating at McDonalds would cost me about $6 bucks for the meal, $25 dollars at the next workplace weigh-in, a slightly perceptible loss of self-confidence in my ability to exercise dietary discipline, and little else. However, as it turned out, I was wrong about that -- dead wrong.
Anyhow, sheepishly, I parked my Suburban, walked into the McDonald's, and ordered what I had been craving all week -- A Big Mac meal. A couple of minutes later, my meal was ready. I took the tray to a booth next to the large restaurant window and sat down ready to violate my diet in total anonymity. As I was staring down at my "All beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a Sesame seed bun" contemplating the meaning of life, I heard a commotion outside in the parking lot. I looked out the large plate glass window and was very troubled by what I saw. Outside there was large group of people running towards the entrance of MickeyD's. As they came closer, I thought that they may have been accident victims seeking assistance. As I started to get up from my chair to offer help, I realized that they were some kind of mob attacking customers in the parking lot. My head was swimming and I could not believe what I was seeing. They were tearing at and biting the people they were attacking. The victims' screams were blood curdling and I almost blacked out from the sheer terror and panic that I was feeling. I regained my composure and felt for my ccw pistol. Then, I panicked again when I remembered that I had left it in my Suburban when I went inside McDonalds. After all, who needs a gun to order a meal at a fast food joint just outside of Sea World?
Just then, one of the customers outside the restaurant tried to get inside, but he wasn't fast enough. About 30 of those things jumped on top of that unfortunate man. He was literally torn to pieces as several other customers and I tried to pull him inside the restaurant. While doing this, another customer inside the restaurant, who had the good sense to keep his ccw with him, opened fire on these things with his pistol through a open crack in the door. The noise was deafening and only served to make me feel more disoriented and terrified than I had felt only moments before. The gunfire seemed to slow down some of the attackers, but several double taps to the head did not put them down.
After pulling the poor dismembered man inside and slamming the door shut on his attackers, several people tried to give first aid to the horribly wounded man. One woman inside the restaurant was a trained EMT. She applied tourniquets to both of the bloody stumps that were this person's legs. Several other people removed their tee-shirts and attempted plug-up the victim's sucking chest wound. Two other men and I tried to barricade the door with a heavy french fry machine and anything else we could find. We were having a problem communicating with each other because the previous gun fire was still ringing in my ears and, no doubt, theirs. All the screaming and sounds around me were muffled and barely audible at that point. With the door now shut and my hearing slowing returning, I tried to sort out what exactly was happening. I could barely look outside as mobs of these creatures were feasting on earlier victims and were attacking new people that drove up to the restaurant unaware of what was going on.
This carnage and horror show continued outside. For how long? Minutes? Hours? I don't know. I lost track of time. The mob of demons outside the restaurant was growing. The man we dragged inside was now surely dead. All attempts by people to use their cell phones were useless. Nothing but, "The lines are busy. Please try again later." Someone wised up and tried the land line phone inside of the restaurant. 911 had a recording, "All operators are currently busy. Please stay on the line. Your call will be answered in the order in which it was received."
After about 10 minutes, the dead victim we had pulled inside the restaurant came alive again. We were all super freaked out. I jumped up on top of a table like a chickenshit person might do when seeing a large crawling bug or snake that was slithering across the floor. Mr CCW again started shooting at the hissing and disemboweled thing which had formerly been a living person. Each loud report from his pistol, caused my hearing loss to gradually return. I plugged my fingers in my ears and tried to protect my ear drums as best I could. He kept firing at it until he his 1911 magazine was empty. Nearly all of his shots hit the creature. Some shots even hit the thing in the head. Nevertheless the crawling, legless creature continued to clutch at the air and snarl and move. Eventually, I got my nerve back. I jumped down from the table and used a giant push broom to sweep this bloody creature back towards the rear of the restaurant. I yelled at another customer, barely hearing my own voice, to open the bathroom door so I could push the monster into the bathroom. As I was doing this I had a difficult time keeping my footing as the foul creature left a film of blood on the floor behind it. Once I pushed the foul thing in the bathroom, the other customer slammed the bathroom door shut on it. The thing was bumping and thrashing furiously at the closed door, pools of blackened blood were oozing from under the door base plate. Thankfully, my hearing was returning bit-by-bit.
We were all pretty much in a state of shock. We were unable to process what was happening. I could see it in the face of others inside the restaurant. Some people were shutting down. One man was under a table in a fetal position. Another woman was leaning against the glass trying to talk to the angry creatures outside like they were her pet cats. She was stammering and talking in a child's voice saying, "It's ok. Don't be mad. Mamma's got some Tender Vittles for you."
Just then some of the other customers started to act funny. When I say funny, I mean they began to foam at the mouth and jerk around like they were experiencing a mild seizure. I heard an ear-piercing scream. The man in the fetal position was being attacked by the EMT lady. Before I could react to that scene, "Cat lady" decided to open the door and "feed her cats". I screamed, "No!". But, it was too late. The mob rushed in. Cat Lady was taken down in an instant, still softly yammering about Tender Vittles as the mob tore her apart. I had no choice to run the opposite exit. I saw several ghouls on the other side of the door, but I threw it open anyway. It was all a confused frenzy for me. I remember being grabbed at, people nipping at the sleeves of my heavy leather jacket, and Mr. CCW firing another magazine full of ammo. It was one horrific blur in time and situational deafness....
Somehow, I made it to my Suburban and got inside. There were about 20 or 30 of those creatures surrounding my truck. I fumbled with my keys for what seemed an eternity, unable to stop shaking long enough to start the vehicle. After finally starting the truck, I had to run over several of those monsters. The big Suburban thrashed about violently as I though I could feel the crushing of bones and popping of skulls underneath the vehicles 4x4 chassis.
Well, I made it home. But, that may have been all for nothing. This plague or whatever it is has consumed my neighborhood as well. I saw several things that used to be my friendly neighbors snarling at me as I drove up. After going inside my house, I am now trapped inside. My dead neighbors know I am here now and they are beating on my doors. The most terrifying thing of all is not the furious undead hands beating on my door, but that my wife and kids are not here. I have no idea if they are alive somewhere else or if they are outside with the rest of the angry crowd trying to kill me.
The SHIT has definitely hit the fan in San Antonio and in our little community of 1.2 million people. I was in McDonald's when Doom's Day happened.
Last edited by 3Fingas
on Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:05 pm, edited 4 times in total.
PEDZ - People for the Efficient Disposal of Zombies
.... It's a dirty job, but someone has got to do it.
I may not have been born in Texas, but I got here
just as fast as I could!