DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS FORUM

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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby Polley » Sun Feb 26, 2012 11:41 pm

jamoni wrote:I think you probably should have just pointed out the disparity between the things he does for you and the things she does for you.


I did that the other time he mentioned it. :wink:
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby whisk.e.rebellion » Mon Feb 27, 2012 12:02 pm

Artiz wrote:a political rant reminiscent of f7u12


Maybe you should reread our rules, Artiz:

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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby tarafore » Mon Feb 27, 2012 12:40 pm

Hoppy wrote:
Czechnology wrote:
squinty wrote:he claimed he just meant that juries would look at the "intended purpose" of whatever object I used for self defense. He may be right.


That's my problem with a Jury system. Unless you live in a seriously heterogeneous area, it is decidedly unlikely that those 12 people will be anything approaching your peers. Japan is the only place in which I've lived that I could see it working as intended, where the 12 people who decide your fate are at least SOMEWHAT likely to have the same general value system and cultural beliefs, if not social and economic parity. Maybe rural Montana too.

ETA: maybe I take it too literally, I dunno. That's just how I feel @ 0930 with 4hrs sleep. :lol:


the quake then tsunami hit Japan. and ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED a significant population area... what did they do. Riot? Loot? Shoot at the army choppers?

nope. they stood patiently in lines they themselves established, took only what they needed from store owners who openly gave with out charge what little they had....

Holy crap. No comparison. that kinda societal commitment is with out comparison


I do have to say that after Katrina, the Mississippi Gulf Coast region (up to the three counties directly north of the coastal counties, all of which still suffered major utilities losses for about a month) had less crime than normal.

People pulled together, shared resources, guarded against looters, and generally behaved just as you'd expect common-sense men and women of good character to behave. No hoarding psycho-survivalists, no gangbanger looting squads, no nothing. Sure, there was some crime, but it was very limited, and handled quickly by law enforcement (without having to bring the army in).

Not as homogenous as Japan, to be sure, but it did raise my opinion of humanity in general and Mississippi in particular.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby RickOShea » Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:12 pm

tarafore wrote:
I do have to say that after Katrina, the Mississippi Gulf Coast region (up to the three counties directly north of the coastal counties, all of which still suffered major utilities losses for about a month) had less crime than normal.

And the yahoos just across the stateline in St. Tammany parish kept stealing the chainsaws and tools off of the back of our bucket trucks while we were trying to rebuild the powerlines. :x
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby PotatoMuncher » Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:28 pm

RickOShea wrote:
tarafore wrote:
I do have to say that after Katrina, the Mississippi Gulf Coast region (up to the three counties directly north of the coastal counties, all of which still suffered major utilities losses for about a month) had less crime than normal.

And the yahoos just across the stateline in St. Tammany parish kept stealing the chainsaws and tools off of the back of our bucket trucks while we were trying to rebuild the powerlines. :x

From a patient (who was from St Tammany parish) on the subject of why Louisiana drivers never use their turn signals: "There's no point to it! No one needs to know why I'm taking a left or right, its none of their business."

I instantly called her out and told her she was the type of driver that causes 90% of the motor vehicle accidents on the North Shore.

She also tried to lecture me on how to move a patient (been a medic for over three years... REALLY?). and that guns are pointless because Jesus wouldn't have carried one. After that point, I swore to myself to never make small talk to another patient ever again.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby Polley » Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:41 pm

PotatoMuncher wrote:
RickOShea wrote:
tarafore wrote:
I do have to say that after Katrina, the Mississippi Gulf Coast region (up to the three counties directly north of the coastal counties, all of which still suffered major utilities losses for about a month) had less crime than normal.

And the yahoos just across the stateline in St. Tammany parish kept stealing the chainsaws and tools off of the back of our bucket trucks while we were trying to rebuild the powerlines. :x

From a patient (who was from St Tammany parish) on the subject of why Louisiana drivers never use their turn signals: "There's no point to it! No one needs to know why I'm taking a left or right, its none of their business."

I instantly called her out and told her she was the type of driver that causes 90% of the motor vehicle accidents on the North Shore.

She also tried to lecture me on how to move a patient (been a medic for over three years... REALLY?). and that guns are pointless because Jesus wouldn't have carried one. After that point, I swore to myself to never make small talk to another patient ever again.


I like to think of Jesus as having a Jericho and an Uzi.



On-topic, but non-firearms-related: This was, perhaps, the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. I don't think I've posted it yet, but oh my Jesus did it make me laugh. As you all know (if not, now you do), I'm eighteen... senior... et cetera. I was in a class where all we do is read novels: you take this class to read. You know, sit down, get the assigned book, read it. I cannot stress this enough. The class is even called "Novels." Pretty hard to miss.

Not only am I (literally) the only person in the class that can read, but I also appear one of the brightest. We had a college speaker visit and I had already talked to her earlier in the day. She started off by asking people what they wanted to do after they graduated. The kid in front of me said he wanted to be a novelist (he tried to get a book published, they asked for a sample chapter, he sent them like a paragraph or two) and an FBI agent. I thought, Okay, that seems reasonable enough, I guess. I met a guy at Boys State who was actually attending West Point already and another who was working on getting into the secret service. Nothing too horribly out of place for that after-school goal aside from the "wanting to be a novelist" and never having had finished a 'novel' he'd started on -- ever -- in about five years.

She asks the same question to another kid on the other side of the room: "What do you want to be?"

"A cabinet maker."
This is when I knew it would get good. She repeated it to make sure she heard right, "A cabinet... maker...?"
"Yeah, you know -- work with wood and build stuff."
So that's when I leaned to my (near-tears) teacher and whispered, "Do you think he means 'carpenter'?"
My teacher went, "Hey, ____. You mean you want to be a carpenter?"
This kid went into DEFCON 1 mode and got insanely defensive.
"No! A carpenter stretches and lays carpet. I want to work with wood and build furniture and stuff!"


I swear, sometimes the only reason I even go into that class is to hear what the students talk about. It usually ends up making my day.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby RickOShea » Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:47 pm

PotatoMuncher wrote:
RickOShea wrote:And the yahoos just across the stateline in St. Tammany parish kept stealing the chainsaws and tools off of the back of our bucket trucks while we were trying to rebuild the powerlines. :x

From a patient (who was from St Tammany parish) on the subject of why Louisiana drivers never use their turn signals: "There's no point to it! No one needs to know why I'm taking a left or right, its none of their business."

Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of fine people in St. Tammany that were always stopping by to give us sweet tea, fresh fried critters and occasionally, some home brew. :wink:

And a lot of those folks didn't have much to begin with, much less after the hurricane.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby IceWing » Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:00 am

PotatoMuncher wrote: on the North Shore.

She also tried to lecture me on how to move a patient (been a medic for over three years... REALLY?). and that guns are pointless because Jesus wouldn't have carried one. After that point, I swore to myself to never make small talk to another patient ever again.


See, that's where I would have pointed out that, based off of that 'logic', she needs to give up electricity, running water, indoor toilets, any heat for her home not generated by burning wood, glass windows, her motor vehicle, any bicycle she may own, canned food and all pharmacological assistance.

But, hey, that's just me.

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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby shrapnel » Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:08 am

We're veering ever so gently towards religion. Please take this discussion to PM, least it turn into a discussion of what Jesus would or would not have carried, used, worn, sanctioned, or done. I know it's silly, but some people take that sort of thing seriously.

Thanks.

Eta: I mean I know that the discussion is silly and not deliberately out to offend, not that someone who is offended is silly. Erm. Yes.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby MasterMaker » Tue Feb 28, 2012 3:07 pm

Polley wrote:
PotatoMuncher wrote:
RickOShea wrote:
tarafore wrote:
I do have to say that after Katrina, the Mississippi Gulf Coast region (up to the three counties directly north of the coastal counties, all of which still suffered major utilities losses for about a month) had less crime than normal.

And the yahoos just across the stateline in St. Tammany parish kept stealing the chainsaws and tools off of the back of our bucket trucks while we were trying to rebuild the powerlines. :x

From a patient (who was from St Tammany parish) on the subject of why Louisiana drivers never use their turn signals: "There's no point to it! No one needs to know why I'm taking a left or right, its none of their business."

I instantly called her out and told her she was the type of driver that causes 90% of the motor vehicle accidents on the North Shore.

She also tried to lecture me on how to move a patient (been a medic for over three years... REALLY?). and that guns are pointless because Jesus wouldn't have carried one. After that point, I swore to myself to never make small talk to another patient ever again.


I like to think of Jesus as having a Jericho and an Uzi.



On-topic, but non-firearms-related: This was, perhaps, the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. I don't think I've posted it yet, but oh my Jesus did it make me laugh. As you all know (if not, now you do), I'm eighteen... senior... et cetera. I was in a class where all we do is read novels: you take this class to read. You know, sit down, get the assigned book, read it. I cannot stress this enough. The class is even called "Novels." Pretty hard to miss.

Not only am I (literally) the only person in the class that can read, but I also appear one of the brightest. We had a college speaker visit and I had already talked to her earlier in the day. She started off by asking people what they wanted to do after they graduated. The kid in front of me said he wanted to be a novelist (he tried to get a book published, they asked for a sample chapter, he sent them like a paragraph or two) and an FBI agent. I thought, Okay, that seems reasonable enough, I guess. I met a guy at Boys State who was actually attending West Point already and another who was working on getting into the secret service. Nothing too horribly out of place for that after-school goal aside from the "wanting to be a novelist" and never having had finished a 'novel' he'd started on -- ever -- in about five years.

She asks the same question to another kid on the other side of the room: "What do you want to be?"

"A cabinet maker."
This is when I knew it would get good. She repeated it to make sure she heard right, "A cabinet... maker...?"
"Yeah, you know -- work with wood and build stuff."
So that's when I leaned to my (near-tears) teacher and whispered, "Do you think he means 'carpenter'?"
My teacher went, "Hey, ____. You mean you want to be a carpenter?"
This kid went into DEFCON 1 mode and got insanely defensive.
"No! A carpenter stretches and lays carpet. I want to work with wood and build furniture and stuff!"


I swear, sometimes the only reason I even go into that class is to hear what the students talk about. It usually ends up making my day.


He may have fucked up on knowing what a carpenter is but a cabinet maker/furniture maker is a real profession within woodworking.
Google gives you over 3 mil hits on it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabinet_making
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby MacAttack » Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:19 am

Funny, even the teacher didn't know that one.

And thought it appropriate to make fun of the kid.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby KnightoftheRoc » Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:30 am

In his defense, even tho he screwed up the definition of "carpenter", I have met some cabinetmakers who consider a carpenter to be an entirely different line of work from their own. They aren't looking down on it, but they consider the carpenter to be the guy who frames the house and puts on the plywood. Others consider a "finish carpenter" to be yet another line of work altogether. Some think of the finish carpenter to be on a par with their own line of work- it really depends on who you ask. As a plumber, I did a lot of different types of pipe work, but jobs like a sprinkler system installer, or a steam fitter, are entirely different certifications from what I normally did. The essential skills are pretty much the same, but there are differences in the fittings to those two jobs from those I would normally use. A horse of another color, perhaps, but a horse nonetheless.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby jamoni » Thu Mar 01, 2012 7:56 am

Agreed, there is a definite difference between carpenter and cabinet maker. It's like the difference between a car and a Lamborghini. Every Lamborghini is a car, not every car is a Lamborghini.
And, to play devil's advocate, he might have been messing with you about the carpentry thing. That sounds like an "in crowd" joke to me.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby DarkAxel » Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:45 pm

KnightoftheRoc wrote:In his defense, even tho he screwed up the definition of "carpenter", I have met some cabinetmakers who consider a carpenter to be an entirely different line of work from their own. They aren't looking down on it, but they consider the carpenter to be the guy who frames the house and puts on the plywood. Others consider a "finish carpenter" to be yet another line of work altogether. Some think of the finish carpenter to be on a par with their own line of work- it really depends on who you ask. As a plumber, I did a lot of different types of pipe work, but jobs like a sprinkler system installer, or a steam fitter, are entirely different certifications from what I normally did. The essential skills are pretty much the same, but there are differences in the fittings to those two jobs from those I would normally use. A horse of another color, perhaps, but a horse nonetheless.


Yeah, Carpenters and Cabinetmakers is one of those square-rectangle things. You know, a square is always a rectangle, but a rectangle isn't always a square.

Another way of putting it is that a cabinetmaker is like a short-stop, and a framer is like an outfielder, but they are both baseball players (carpenters).

OT: I was talking to a fellow today at the local gun-n-pawn. He was looking to buy a .38spc. The kid behind the counter lays out a few S&W .380s, and says "These take the same round".

I got a real dirty look when I started laughing. I couldn't help it.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby Polley » Thu Mar 01, 2012 5:26 pm

Considering he can't spell "when", I assumed it was just a weird error. Then again, I can't do quadratic equations, but I can tell you how to take an AK apart using only its cleaning kit.

Perhaps the class isn't his forte, but the actual hands-on work is...

It would appear that I've misunderestimated him!

EDIT: Therefore, you can just use that story as a "Wow, not only was I (Polley) dumb, but apparently two college graduates whose only job is to educate were, too!"
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby I_Hate_George_Lucas » Sat Mar 03, 2012 4:16 am

Oh the fun stories I can tell from both side of the gun counter and on the street as a cop. I'm a full time cop and worked part time in a number of shops (they paid me in guns and ammo :D )

Story 1.

It close to closing and three wonderful urban youths walk in all decked in in their finest Walmart ghetto wear with their hands cupping their balls and the other in their pocket. They all spread out in the store (at that point myself and my two co-workers had the thumb breaks off and ready for the draw) when I asked one of the idiots if I can help him. He starts playing with the Crimson Trace display (blue rubber gun of a S&W J-frame and a GLOCK) and says that he has a revolver just like the display model. I ask him does he know what model? He simply holds up the display proudly and says "Jus like dis one here!" I shake my head and explain to him that Taurus, S&W, Rossi, Ruger, etc... have all made small compact revolvers and they all have different frame sizes. But him being the street genius that he is.... simply wants to "buy" one and will make it fit.

So he asks me how much will a grip cost. I told him and I quote... "Three Fifty sir". Mind you, the price was shown on the display in big bright letters with an orange background ($350.00). So he then asks if that's with or without tax. I tell him without. He simply walks over to the counter and says out loud "I take it!" and slaps a five dollar bill on the counter. I'm just there like :shock: and then :lol: after I tell him that it's three hundred and fifty dollars.... not three dollars and fifty cents.

His two criminal cohorts laugh at him and he walks out in shame....

I later arrested his moron and his friends for Strong Arm Robbery that same night when I went on shift. :mrgreen: Also the victim on the robbery stabbed one of said idiots when they tried to jump him. :P

Story 2

I'm at one of the local places I wheel and deal at and some idiot 19 year old that belonged to the shallow end of the gene pool is there trying to have the sop trade in a WASR-10 for a Sig 522 rifle and is telling one of the guys behind the counter how he is a "US Army Marine Seal" and that he was able to bring back the AK from Iran on a super top secret mission. He said his MP5 jammed and he killed the "Irani" (his words Iranian) with a Crow Bow (his words for a Ka-Bar knife) and used it for the rest of the mission. He also said that his was special because it ran off MP5 magazines.

What made it really special was the fact that the WASR-10 in question still had the Centurt Arms UPC Tag on it and he brought it in the Century Arms Box (also the simple fact that it said Century Arms on the gun and his entire story was crap). My buddy working the counter just kept on letting him dig is own hole.

What made it super amazing awesome funny was that this isn't your local Mom and Pop gun shop. This place is a Class III NFA Dealer, does the contract sales for just about every LE Agency in South Florida and also has a number of contracts supplying over seas agencies like the Bahamas and South and Central America. Also a very large number of their customers are cops (like me), high speed low drag SF types, and veterans (also me). A nice USMC LCpl was behind and asked him some fun and wonderful questions to simply put him to shame.... such questions as "Where did you go for MEPS?" "What's your MOS?" "Who is Chesty Puller?" "Who is Alvin York?" "Who is Audie Murphy" and lastly "What the F#@$ did you smoke to make such a bullshit lie?"

It was classic.... the guy just broke down and drooled upon himself.... this LCpl mind you is the son of the owners of the shop and the guy just got back from his tour in the sand box and was in his Dress Blues for a family portrait.

I died laughing.... nothing is more fun then seeing people that lie and lie dig themselves into holes that they cannot possibly climb out of.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby IronKnuckles » Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:58 pm

While at my favorite gun shop 2 customers were talking amongst themselves and I overheard "The army only changed to the beretta because it can take the mags from the colt 1911" they bickered back and forth the dumbass convinced that it was true and finally they asked the clerk who is a friend of mine "its true right, you can use the 1911 mags in the beretta?" he stood like a stone and said "don't know, never tried it myself"
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby Dogan » Tue Mar 06, 2012 3:06 pm

I love this.

You know the ID10T I tried to cockpunch? Well he had another gem:

"If a Barret 50 cal is shot within 8 feet of you it'll blow your arm off."
Me:"But the barrel's not 8 feet long."
"So?"
Me:"So the shooter would lose an arm as well."
He just shook his head and said I didn't understand.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby 12_Gauge_Chimp » Tue Mar 06, 2012 3:22 pm

Dogan wrote:I love this.

You know the ID10T I tried to cockpunch? Well he had another gem:

"If a Barret 50 cal is shot within 8 feet of you it'll blow your arm off."
Me:"But the barrel's not 8 feet long."
"So?"
Me:"So the shooter would lose an arm as well."
He just shook his head and said I didn't understand.


There are some points you can only get across with a smack upside the head.

That reminds me of another one.

I'm standing in a local Mom & Pop type gun shop, talking to the clerk when some kid walks in and inserts himself into our conversation. I go along with it since I like talking with people until the kid starts talking about the .50 BMG rifle he carried in Iraq. He says that he was issued it in place of a sidearm and carried it on patrols. Now, unless Barrett has started making lightweight M82s, the kid is full of crap since the gun weighs about 30 pounds unloaded. Add in 10 rounds of .50 cal ammo and there's no way in Hell Junior is lugging that thing around on foot patrols for hours on end. The clerk calls him on it and asks him to point out the gun on the rack, since the shop actually did have a M82A1, which was right in front of the rack. Junior looks at the rack, completely ignoring the .50 cal and points at a Bushmaster AR-15. At this point, the clerk and I start laughing. Junior gets pissed off and storms off in a huff.

We later find out Junior was never even in the military and had never even touched a gun outside of a game of Call of Duty.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby Dogan » Tue Mar 06, 2012 3:26 pm

12_Gauge_Chimp wrote:
Dogan wrote:I love this.

You know the ID10T I tried to cockpunch? Well he had another gem:

"If a Barret 50 cal is shot within 8 feet of you it'll blow your arm off."
Me:"But the barrel's not 8 feet long."
"So?"
Me:"So the shooter would lose an arm as well."
He just shook his head and said I didn't understand.


There are some points you can only get across with a smack upside the head.

Nah, I think he needs all the brain cell he can get. :lol:
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby Mad_Maxx » Tue Mar 06, 2012 3:31 pm

"Truck driving is easy" :lol:
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby 12_Gauge_Chimp » Tue Mar 06, 2012 3:35 pm

Dogan wrote:
12_Gauge_Chimp wrote:
Dogan wrote:I love this.

You know the ID10T I tried to cockpunch? Well he had another gem:

"If a Barret 50 cal is shot within 8 feet of you it'll blow your arm off."
Me:"But the barrel's not 8 feet long."
"So?"
Me:"So the shooter would lose an arm as well."
He just shook his head and said I didn't understand.


There are some points you can only get across with a smack upside the head.

Nah, I think he needs all the brain cell he can get. :lol:


That's true. Let him keep the one brain cell he's got left.

After all, he seems to be a good source for saying dumb things. :lol:
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby 0122358 » Tue Mar 06, 2012 5:08 pm

how the fuck can people be so stupid...my god!!!!!

sorry just read that M82 sidearm story...COD is a fun game...but its players should be...i dont know...somthing becuase its turning a lot of people into retarrds when it comes to guns...

JTFC!!! :evil: :evil: :evil:
JTNieman wrote:Do you also look down the barrel when you pull the trigger to make sure it's clear? It's best to visually confirm the chamber's empty this way.


SMoAF wrote:Your sin is one of geography, not one of unmanliness. Pimp's sin is that he's, well....himself.


Doctorr Fabulous wrote:If you're in a fixed defense with a Mosin, you failed somewhere.
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Re: DUMBEST F*&@king thing you've ever heard NOT ON THE ZS F

Postby 12_Gauge_Chimp » Tue Mar 06, 2012 5:22 pm

0122358 wrote:how the fuck can people be so stupid...my god!!!!!

sorry just read that M82 sidearm story...COD is a fun game...but its players should be...i dont know...somthing becuase its turning a lot of people into retarrds when it comes to guns...

JTFC!!! :evil: :evil: :evil:


I take it you haven't read my post about a former friend telling me I should just buy .30-06 rounds instead of 7.62x54r rounds because "They're the same round, dude."
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