Scared to live rural?

[dukman]

I am more scared to live in the city than rural. I used to live out in the sticks. The "small town" I used to live in had about 20,000 residents, most of them living in the outskirts on "5-acres of paradise". I never felt there was a conspiracy against the new people when I moved in there, and the postmaster and even some checkers at the grocery store got to know me on a first name basis. I never got the feeling there was some "us vs. them" mentality, and it seemed like they were good people for the most part, and I didn't feel they would all start rounding up outsiders to make stew with if the SHTF.

Then I moved to the city and felt like there were a thousand eyes watching me, some of them sizing me up for either robbery while I was away at work, mugging, or just a classic grand theft auto. I have since moved somewhere more rural, but still close to the city.

[run faster]

heck yeah, cities suck lol. I love rural live, the town I grew up in had 4 houses and you had to drive 30 minutes to see anything. All i was saying was being on a road basically by ourselves kinda worries me, theoritically in a PAW/disaster situation. Because stupid people do travel and do loot, we've seen that in current disasters

[BullOnParade]

Not only was (is?) rural more dangerous in Argentina, but Hollywood has shown the scenario a few times now of the young couple stranded in the middle of nowhere.

After watching the movie "the strangers" my ex (and thus I) didn't sleep much for a week.

There's a new film coming out, straw dogs, I think. Where a couple is couped up in their home after moving back to the wife's home town.

Psychological thrillers like these are pretty far fetched, but definitely put your hairs on end.

[offcamber]

I used to be a city dweller (lived in NOVA for over a decade).. My wife and I bailed out long ago and just a couple of years back bought a 35 acre property in the the middle of nowhere in WV.

I can't say enough good things about it. Town has 1200 people and I can't see my nearest neighbor.

We have started doing homestead stuff with ducks, rabbits, honeybees etc and have been rebuilding the house.

At first it was a little nerve wracking being so disconnected from familiar stuff/family/friends, but after a while it all settled out. We have made amazing friends with our neighbors, and the whole road looks out for each other.

Any fears you have will fade and be replaced with a wonderful living experience. Even the smaller wildlife fears of bears, coyotes and other animals fade and are welcomed as part of the rural living environment.

Ironically, my biggest fear now is that if for some unforeseen economic turn for the worse required us to move, I don't think i could go back to city or suburban living.

[Rhetor]

Left Dallas 15 years ago. Can't see myself going back. One thing to add- expect simple conversations to take 3x as long as in town, but it's ok. Casual Southern rural conversation is less of an exchange of information and as it is a Japanese tea ceremony. Lots of leaning on things, looking at stuff, and gently steering conversation.

[RoneKiln]

I am glad most people here have mostly had awesome experiences moving to rural areas. When I was younger I never imagined I could live in a city over a rural area. Now I'm not too sure. I've now lived in both medium and big cities and had very little complaint. The last two years I worked in a very rural area and it was quite frightening. I saw more evidence of substance abuse and domestic violence in any given month in that small town than a decade hanging out in some of Seattle's rougher areas (though in all fairness, Seattle doesn't have any truly bad neighborhoods like most equivelant sized cities. Not a single area I'd describe as a ghetto). Virtually every person I knew told of having their house broken into and ransacked at least once. Gossip told tales of people being beat by drunk or high friends and partners on a daily basis. I never in any way felt in danger myself, but I was quickly convinced I would never want to raise children there.

Needless to say I left at the first good opportunity. Though I still miss some very good people from there. Sadly, most of the good people there were getting dragged down by supporting relatives or friends that just can't get their act together. I don't mean to imply everyone there was horrible. There were some of the most selfless strongest people I've ever known. They were just outnumbered by the drunks, addicts, volatile, and willfully unemployed.

So rural vs urban or big city can depend a huge amount on the specific region, city, or neighborhood. Thanks everyone for sharing good stories about living rural. They're nice to hear.

Zombie Granny: I agree with you standing up for the misunderstanding over the social security comment. When I initially read that comment though I did not in any way think of retirees that worked hard all their lives. In the rural area I was in for two years there were a lot of people claiming disabilities that got them Social Security when they probably shouldn't have. Those were the people I thought of when he posted that and I suspected they were the ones he had more in mind. A lot of those people actually bragged about how they didn't have to work by claiming exagerated or nonexistant disabilities. And all the hard working folk did not ostracize them. Blind eyes were turned to darn near every bit of crap I saw whether it was social security fraud or beating their partner. I suspect you would have literally taken the heads off some of those cretins. Especially when you saw how much of that government check went to alcohol and gambling.

And on the behalf of all us young punks everywhere, I also apologize for any flack you've ever been given over earning your retirement.

[CiggsWar]

I have lived in town here for about 8 years I really don't know anyone really except my land lord and few others as they work next door, my land lord who knows every one, and every thing they do as well, people know problity more about me, than i even realize lol mostly through my land lord. I wouldn't know them by name, I might know them through there vechiles or my land lord. Still lots of gossip tho.
Do something here and it know fairly fast, I don't have any close neighbors of where we are sisuated. That and crazy dog keeps every one at distance or scares the crap out of them. Our town is relativly dead as new areas went in and part of the convient structure moved closer to them. There is a pissy attitude towards that epecially the beer and liqure store lol, but it was a traffic hell to begin with, our town is nothing more than a bottle neck to boot as people use it for a short cut. and everyone local drives around it using the back roads. People shop at the big box stores and the local business droped off, exception being specity shops. They have been trying to get more surburia redoing the roadways reloacting the infastructure. re-gutting the area. I would rather move further up north to a smaller town senerio rural setting.

[prepper7]

Living in crowded, damned near lawless Los Angeles, I sometimes long for the advantages of rural living, but whenever I think of an isolated (or even semi isolated) home, all I can think is, "crime scene number two". Yeah, it frightens me.

[Sheriff McClelland]

I didn't read all the responses so sorry if this is a repeat .

Your concerns are legit .

Every neighborhood is different whether rural or city . Good idea to speak with your prospective new neighbors , LE , community offices , church . Ask them about the neighborhood .

[prepper7]

This TSP episode, Episode-716- Where are you Going to Build that Better Life may be of assistance.

[arrowolf]

I live alone (except for a dog) on 5 acres of open land in North Texas. My house is on a dead-end street 3 miles down a county road from either a Farm Road or Hwy 287. The only neighbors I knew moved out. Sometimes I'm gone for a month at a time. The only trouble I've ever had is someone knocked my mailbox off the pole. I see my nieghbors but I don't know them much. I'm not afriad to be here now. If the world went to hell, I'd rather be here than many other places even by myself. I've gotten snowed/iced in for 4 days each the past 2 winters. But I had everything I needed. One year I was alone. Last year the folks were here. But I had all my preps and did very well both times.

[KnightoftheRoc]

I am glad most people here have mostly had awesome experiences moving to rural areas. When I was younger I never imagined I could live in a city over a rural area. Now I'm not too sure. I've now lived in both medium and big cities and had very little complaint. The last two years I worked in a very rural area and it was quite frightening. I saw more evidence of substance abuse and domestic violence in any given month in that small town than a decade hanging out in some of Seattle's rougher areas (though in all fairness, Seattle doesn't have any truly bad neighborhoods like most equivelant sized cities. Not a single area I'd describe as a ghetto). Virtually every person I knew told of having their house broken into and ransacked at least once. Gossip told tales of people being beat by drunk or high friends and partners on a daily basis. I never in any way felt in danger myself, but I was quickly convinced I would never want to raise children there.

Needless to say I left at the first good opportunity. Though I still miss some very good people from there. Sadly, most of the good people there were getting dragged down by supporting relatives or friends that just can't get their act together. I don't mean to imply everyone there was horrible. There were some of the most selfless strongest people I've ever known. They were just outnumbered by the drunks, addicts, volatile, and willfully unemployed.

So rural vs urban or big city can depend a huge amount on the specific region, city, or neighborhood. Thanks everyone for sharing good stories about living rural. They're nice to hear.

Zombie Granny: I agree with you standing up for the misunderstanding over the social security comment. When I initially read that comment though I did not in any way think of retirees that worked hard all their lives. In the rural area I was in for two years there were a lot of people claiming disabilities that got them Social Security when they probably shouldn't have. Those were the people I thought of when he posted that and I suspected they were the ones he had more in mind. A lot of those people actually bragged about how they didn't have to work by claiming exagerated or nonexistant disabilities. And all the hard working folk did not ostracize them. Blind eyes were turned to darn near every bit of crap I saw whether it was social security fraud or beating their partner. I suspect you would have literally taken the heads off some of those cretins. Especially when you saw how much of that government check went to alcohol and gambling.

And on the behalf of all us young punks everywhere, I also apologize for any flack you've ever been given over earning your retirement.

The term "Social Security" gets used a lot without differentiating between Soc. Sec. Disability, and Soc. Sec. Insurance, which is the retirement aspect of it, and earned by anyone who is getting it, either directly, or as a survivor benefit. The SSD abuse/misuse is where most people have the issue with it, and un-intentionally end up alienating the SSI people, by lumping them in with the fraud cases of SSD. At my job, I see a lot of SSD and SSI recipients, and what I see would take it's own thread, so I won't derail this one.

Speaking from only my own experience, I think the reason you see more things like spousal or substance abuse in a small town, is that it's more noticeable- less people means less 'background noise' to filter it through. The town I grew up in had a population roughly 10% of the city I'm in now- I saw all the same things then, and was actually a victim of a lot of it, so my witnessing of some things was first person in nature. I see all the same things now, but I am naturally a bit more inclined to notice them. The amount of people may have changed, but the problems remain the same- we just have names for them now. For instance, when I was a kid, and my old man was beating the living snot out of me, it wasn't 'child abuse', it was 'firm parenting'. Calling the cops for it wasn't even an option, and if you tried it, you were just assuring yourself a bigger beating after they left.

Small towns are renowned for "everyone knows everyone- and everyone else's business", so when Harry has a drinking problem, it's going to be a bit better known than in a bigger city, at least until Harry's latest drunken escapade hits the papers. Another reason, I think, for the substance abuse aspect, is the lack of things to do in a smaller town. Today, at least, there seems to be less and less to "do" if you aren't going to the mall in some way- either to shop, see a movie, or just hang around.

Where I grew up, despite the small town setting, we had the village proper, and then the surrounding town. In the village, we boasted 2 bowling alleys, several restaurants, 3 diners, and a dozen bars. There were 3 hardware stores, 2 grocery stores, 2 pharmacies, a card shop (Hallmark, not Magic; the Gathering) 3 beauty shops/hairdressers, a shoe repair place, a barber shop, a hotel, several Mom & Pop type shops, a bus station, a sporting goods store, a department store (that was NOT a franchise of some corporation), another that was part of a small chain, and all in a village that sported only TWO traffic lights- both of which switched over to simply blinking at 10PM. People lived in the village, shopped in it, and many of them worked there as well- it was almost a self supporting, closed environment. Today, it has the same two traffic lights, and almost every one of the above businesses is closed. The night life consists of drinking either at home or at the bars (the only industry to remain strong), or going out of town to the malls or clubs.

Simple boredom can drive people to try or do things that better sense would dictate against. For others, it's a form of escape from what has become an uncomfortable life, in whatever way it has for them. Or, a way to mask pain, emotional or physical, by self medicating it, or dealing out greater measures to someone else. The dysfunction exists everywhere, it's just more noticeable in smaller groups. I believe it was George Carlin who (first) said "1 in 3 people is an asshole. Look to your left and right- if neither of them qualifies, guess what... you're IT!" Smaller groups makes finding people easier. Of all types.

[Mr. E. Monkey]

Living in crowded, damned near lawless Los Angeles, I sometimes long for the advantages of rural living, but whenever I think of an isolated (or even semi isolated) home, all I can think is, "crime scene number two". Yeah, it frightens me.

After growing up and spending most of my life in rural/small town areas, I feel the same way as you, only opposite. Having that many people around just sets my hairs on end.

[mobilesuithomer]

Simple boredom can drive people to try or do things that better sense would dictate against

I live in a small city/large town kind of area, and I can attest to this. It's one of the reasons we have a high teenage pregnancy rate. We have a movie theater, a mall, and two bowling alleys, so if you want something to do it's that or "hang out" at someone's house. There used to be a few venues around here that would have local bands play, but they all shut down for one reason or another. It's one of the major reasons I want out of here, the other ones being my family and a lack of single women that are both my age and members of the same church as me. (I don't hate my family, but after 26 years I think I'm ready to move on.)

I can also attest to the part about bars always staying around after other businesses leave, although it hasn't been nearly as bad around here as where you grew up.

OT: If living in the city has any advantages, one of them is almost certainly that they can have more "resilience" than small towns, simply due to the higher number of people, businesses, jobs, etc. If a small business fails in a big city, it doesn't send out as many economic shock waves, due to how little it matters relative to the entire city, or even that section. Of course, this is only true so long as they (the cities) can keep getting the supplies that they need for said businesses etc. As James Burke pointed out in episode one of Connections, cities are basically islands incapable of providing for themselves. (Not that cities can't fall otherwise. Detroit and Cleveland come to mind, although most of what I know is hearsay.) I also recall someone saying (around the turn of the 19th century, I think) that if the cities were destroyed, the rural areas could survive; by contrast, should the farmlands fall, the cities would be overtaken by weeds within a week. Or something to that effect.

Sorry if I rambled too long or too incoherently, I'll look at again when I'm not as tired and edit as necessary.

[prepper7]

Living in crowded, damned near lawless Los Angeles, I sometimes long for the advantages of rural living, but whenever I think of an isolated (or even semi isolated) home, all I can think is, "crime scene number two". Yeah, it frightens me.

After growing up and spending most of my life in rural/small town areas, I feel the same way as you, only opposite. Having that many people around just sets my hairs on end.

I suppose it's true: people are just never satisfied.

[Mr. E. Monkey]

Living in crowded, damned near lawless Los Angeles, I sometimes long for the advantages of rural living, but whenever I think of an isolated (or even semi isolated) home, all I can think is, "crime scene number two". Yeah, it frightens me.

After growing up and spending most of my life in rural/small town areas, I feel the same way as you, only opposite. Having that many people around just sets my hairs on end.

I suppose it's true: people are just never satisfied.

Sounds about right.