I've noticed so many times that many of us talk a good game up here, but in real life we may be manning our weapons and checking over our shoulders while all the little Ankle Zombies chew us to the ground and we've got a nest of Tapeworm Zombies up our ass that we're ignoring. Don't worry, I'll start first, and with my most recent fail.
1. I've known that Roxy Junebug (my Subaru) needed brakes soon. I've known for at least 3 months, maybe more. 3 weeks ago, as I crawled out of the parking garage with my windows down, I heard a faint but ominous metal-on-metal noise coming from my wheelwells. At first I thought it was the trolley passing by, as it makes the exact same noise. In the last week, I've noticed that the noise is getting more persistent but not louder. I checked that the brakes and wheel hubs weren't hot or smoking. The pedal feels a little soft, but the brakes work fine otherwise. Today, I had the opportunity to leave work early and I bolted to the only mechanic shop I have ever trusted in my life (that God mercifully placed a mile from my house). Took a dude for a ride in the parking lot. Duh, it's the brakes. He pointed out 2 things: The wear tabs were sticking out like an anorexic's ribs, and that the wear indicators were scoring all 4 rotors.
FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC........
Lesson learned: Really? You're a gearhead. You've been around cars all your life, moron! You could have done this in the last 6 months when you had so much more time! Now you have to pay someone to do it! Welcome to Myopic Asshattia. Population: You.
2. I have a 5-gallon can of gas from Hurricane Rita in my garage. Haven't heard of Rita? That's fine. She hit nearly FIVE DAMN YEARS AGO!!!!!!!!!!
Lesson learned: I need to move out of Asshattia, and quickly.
3. I bought a bunch of guns that I've always wanted during the Panic of '08. I bought them, and a boatload of ammo, at inflated prices because I was a no-prepping sucker. I bought them before I bought other preps. For crying out loud I bought the majority of them BEFORE I EVEN HAD A SINGLE FIRE EXTINGUISHER IN THE HOME!!!!!!! (I now have 4). I bought them before I had an alarm system up and running.
Lesson learned: Ammo is generally not dangerous when it "cooks off" in a house fire, which I made far more likely to occur by being a douche for a few months.
4. That frozen debit card while traveling at midnight in frozen temperatures with a trying to freeze toddler in the back that I outlined in the Inconvenience Zombies thread.
Lesson learned: I don't want to relive it here. I have a running credit card and cash stashed so that BS doesn't happen again.
5. Procrastinating on taking out the Licensing and Accreditation Zombies that are now at CQB distance. They're closer, there's more of them, and I'm expending time and energy that I don't have now (that I did have back then) to knock them off. This could turn into a melee before it's all done, and chances of failure are much higher now.
Lesson learned: Look forward. If you have a choice between sniping a problem at 300 yards (or, say, 12 months away) or trying to take a katana to it at toe-touching distance, DON'T BE STUPID! We all know katanas suck goat peen.
So, those are some painful, shameful experiences that I've had since becoming a true prepper. This being the opposite of the DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread, I hope others can post up their opposite-of-victory moments for us to share. Like DEBTSQUAD, feel free to post an accompanying picture to help illustrate your fail and help others out.
This is a recent sagittal cut of a CT scan that I had done a few weeks ago at my doctor's office. I came in because I was experiencing more fail than I usually have, and it wasn't responsive to regular over-the-counter medication or quick wittedness under pressure like it normally is:
