PREP FAILURE: THE WALL OF SHAME

[Regular Guy]

Took my first kayak lesson in Italy in a river in the rainy season.
So, the instrutor paddles out in very rough water. He's like it great then gets swept into a down tree. Fights like hell and gets out. Then he relaunches and says I need to go out. I'm like sure, looks easy. Nope, I make it about 50 ft and flip. I have a wet suit, helmet, gloves, life vest and HIKING BOOTS on. I'm flipped and my head is smaking the boulder covered bottom. I don't know how long I was under but I could not right myself. I pull the water boot but still can't exit. My hiking boots are STUCK. I say to myself, your gonna drown if you don't do something. I gather my strength and kick as hard as I can. The guys I was with said the kayak went 3 ft into the air. I'm still submerged. I start to swim cause I really want some air. I remember from my water training in rough water that swimming is bad cause you can't tell where the surface is. I relaxed and popped to the surface. That's when it got interesting. I'm floating down the river feet first and on my back. I was on the side of the river that had large cliffs. The water was so strong it was blasting off the faces of the cliffs. I recalled that the best thing to do is to be feet first and push of the walls hard and push off toward the current. For this I'm so glad that I had boots on. My feet got rocked because I had to perform this maneuver about five times. I'm like fuck, those dams are about 0.5 km ahead. Then I come around a bend and the water get to be about 3 ft and there's a big island out in the middle of the river. Nice. Whack, I hit my ass really hard on a rock and decide that it's time to stand up. I drag myself out of the water and vomit grey river water. I lost the paddle, gloves and my wedding ring. My Pro-tech helmet is all scoffed up. I'm winded and the instructor says "Hey, you did really good!" I retrieve the kayak and go to a flat water lake about a mile away and paddle around.
Lessons learn.
1. Get a good instrutor that's not going to get you in over your head. It looked dangerous but me being me said "I like danger". Not wise.
2. Check your kit. The kayak I was using was for a 120lbs person. I weight 200lbs at the time. Even if you don't know what your looking for you can see labels, warnings, and cracks/signs of abuse.
3. Water is the equalizer. Respect it. Take a water safety classes. I took a rough water survival course in the military and I think it saved my life. Learn to swim, know how long you can remain submerged. Don't panic, it doesn't help.

[sql_yoda]

I retrieve the kayak and go to a flat water lake about a mile away and paddle around.

If it were me I'd be pissed that your instructor didn't start out with flat water, balance in motion, and teaching how to right yourself when you inevitably get upside down.

Glad to read your post though, it means you're still alive and that's usually a good thing. At least you have some fond memories?

Sorry but there isn't much silver lining in paying a guy to teach you stuff and then he almost gets you killed by virtue of being a hack instructor.

[Regular Guy]

Oh, I told him to give me my money back (He did) and that he could leave, immediately. I reported him to MWR and he was no longer able to instruct for the entire MWR system. Best I could do short of whooping him. He also had to pay for the lost equipment since he signed it out.

[53convert]

I'll admit to one
My generator has sat for about two to three years. Now when it's cold I know the gas is old and it won't start.

keep cans of Sterno around........when its really cold set one under the gen oil case adnin a few minutes it will spin and with a shot of ether fire just fine.
Regarding candles,dont I repeat DONT buy the scented ones................and for gosh sakes if you do than get them all the same smell.

Ice storm of 07, no electricity and the generator miles away. 15 different candle scents doesnt smell good at all

[Hammer31]

Here is my truck fail.

I have carried an axe in my 18 wheeler for years. I have used it many times to clear roads when a tree fall happens. This last winter I drive up on a state highway in north east CA and there is a tree down in the road. "No sweat, I will just cut it in half and push on with my axe". Get under bunk and then remember that I left it with my ex-in-laws so that he could finish chopping wood after his crapped out. Had to wait 9 hours until CALTRANS showed up and cleared it in 2 minutes with a chainsaw.

Was late on load and had to drive snowy roads in the middle of the night. Not Cool.

[ninja-elbow]

Most of my fails are money fails. Not having it when I need it for emergencies. I end up borrowing it under horrible conditions or owing it and then not being able to handle the payments. I am getting financial education now and training myself to actually save money and have a few options now too, namely by fixing up my credit score, belonging to a Credit Union with many personal loan options, keeping the "borrow from 401k" option open and am actually puting away a cash reserve. I just suck at credit cards so I don't have one anymore. I still need work on this but I see it getting better. Mostly a matter of reassesing my wants and needs.

Someday I'll have that whole "live off emergency savings for 3 months" thing going.

Other fails usually are in the realm of not packing the right stuff when I go out in the woods (I have failed to bring a full JetBoil canister in my last 4 outings) but this just forces me to rely on skill anyways so I take it as a good thing. I CAN boil water without a stove in the woods.

I also need to work on my health (fat smoker here) and keep up on my truck maintenance. No problems yet, but them zombies are out there at around 900-1000 meters.

[Dingo McPhee]

keeping the "borrow from 401k" option open

Major kudos for getting a handle on your finances, but PLEASE do not take money out of your 401(k) except in the most extereme emergencies (like going to lose your house). You pay a massive penalty AND your tax rate. It's like getting a loan at fifty percent interest.

[ninja-elbow]

keeping the "borrow from 401k" option open

Major kudos for getting a handle on your finances, but PLEASE do not take money out of your 401(k) except in the most extereme emergencies (like going to lose your house). You pay a massive penalty AND your tax rate. It's like getting a loan at fifty percent interest.

Actually, that would be making a draw from the 401k. I can take a loan out of my 401k and all interest is paid to me. It's limited (a percentage of my total in the account) and I can only have 2 at a time. I am almost finished with the current one. I have to pay it back in a set amount of time but it's all getting paid back to me. Since it is "in house" it don't show up on my credit report though in any way... right now that's a disadvantage as it sure would be nice to have it add to my credit score some as getting a better credit score is my current goal.

[Thorne]

Today was one of those days...

So I had to install a wireless network at a nursing home today, 4 Access Points and a router installed in a building, Power over Ethernet etc etc... simple.

Spent a day configuring the AP's at home so I could just stick em to the ceiling, wire em up and walk away.

Called the Building manager and my contractor to get network details countless times, had all of my ports labeled, had all the tools I'd need, mounting brackets, ethernet cable crimpers and tips. Charged up the batt drill, arranged to get a ladder from maintenance.

...and forgot to take the power cord for the PoE switch with me when I left home in the morning.

D'oh

[techmonkey]

I was put in the desert yesterday conducting an un-powered glide test on a UAV airframe. I forgot my hat and got an annoying sunburn on parts of my head I didn't have sunscreen on (like my newly thinning spot...). Although it could probably be called a win-lose situation since I had some OTC pain killers from my FAK for the guy who got dragged by the hot air balloon a little and bruised a rib, and someone my air compressor on their too low tire. Now I just need to refill the painkillers in my FAK before I have a real fail.

[Krustofski]

I failed. Completely. Utter shame and humiliation. Not only in the area of general preps, no, I wouldn't feel so strong about that. I failed as a medical professional.

I had a rather bad allergic reaction to dinner tonight. The details of my bowel movements were rather... graphic. Thankfully, the medicine chest is inside the bathroom and can be reached while sitting on the toilet. Well, there weren't any anti-diarrhoeal drugs in it. Neither was any allergy medication. No big deal, I forgot to replenish, it happens.
So, during a little pause ( ) I quickly hobbled to the hallway closet, retrieved my med kit from the BOB and quickly got back onto the bowl.

Well... no medic would ever start a shift or go on an assignment without checking his gear himself, of having it checked by a partner whom he trusts, right?

There wasn't a single milligram of Loperamide in the kit. There should be at least 20 units of 2 mg each.
There was indeed a whole package of Ceterizine in the kit. It expired 2 months ago.
Well, shit. Literally. I took the anti-histamines annyway managed to find some Loperamide in my car emergency kit, but I seriously considered plugging it with a cork to get there.

After I got over my little allergy problem I thoroughly checked my med bag.
The following things were expired:
- Ibuprofen 400 mg, by 1 month
- Ceterizine 10 mg, by 2 months
- 0.9 % NaCl, by 6 months
- Fenistil Hydrocortison Gel 0,25 %, by 6 months
- Wound dressing, non-adhesive, 10 x 20 cm, sterile, by 6 months
- Test stripes for Glucose/Ketone Meter, by 8 months

Now, being expired doesn't necessarily make anything unusable, but:

The following things were missing completely:
- Loperamide 2 mg (Duh!)
- Stethoscope (how the fuck do you lose a stethoscope from a bag you basically never use?)

And here's the kicker: This renders the whole trauma part of the kit essentially USELESS and downright DANGEROUS for the user:
THERE WEREN'T ANY GLOVES LEFT!

*facepalm*

I fail as a medical professional. There is no excuse.

[curryman]

I put luggage tags on stuff. ITEMS EXPIRE ON month/year. Big black sharpie helps. My next rotate is on 11/10, I can read it from accross the room.

curryman

I will add a cork to my med kits though. LOL

[Krustofski]

Oh, I did write a list of expiry dates. I don't know where the heck it is -.-

[squinty]

Does your BOB/emergency stuff sometimes get raided to replenish your day to day supplies? I do that sometimes (with what pitiful preps I've made so far) and then forget to replace the emergency stash. It would be OK if I did that systematically as a "rotating out" process but I don't. Instead I make "emergency" forays into my kit for non-emergent situations.

[Big J]

Couple of years ago on a particularly cold and nasty day the family and I decided to go visit some friends of ours and spend the day with them. We leave the house early in the day, turn the thermostat down to a reasonably decent level (no sense in keeping an empty house toasty plus the propane tank was getting to the point where it would last most the rest of the cold weather if we used it economically, then would have to get it filled) and head off. That night the weather gets worse so we just have a sleepover. Next day we cruise home later in the day. When I walk in I quickly notice that the house is MUCH colder than it should have been, and the furnace is running. Back door is a little "tricky" and you have to ensure it is shut all the way or it pops open. I failed to do so. House=freezing, propane=basically gone; thank God we have a fireplace and a good stock of firewood for especially cold times.

Lesson: always make sure all doors and windows are secure (have gotten better with this with a one year old tearing around the house and trying to escape through any crack he can find), get propane tank filled BEFORE heading into winter (the price I had to pay to get propane almost made me cry, plus I could only get what I could afford at the time which was not much, plus they could not come out for a couple days because of bad weather and being so far away).

[Snapcat]

Couple of years ago on a particularly cold and nasty day the family and I decided to go visit some friends of ours and spend the day with them. We leave the house early in the day, turn the thermostat down to a reasonably decent level (no sense in keeping an empty house toasty plus the propane tank was getting to the point where it would last most the rest of the cold weather if we used it economically, then would have to get it filled) and head off. That night the weather gets worse so we just have a sleepover. Next day we cruise home later in the day. When I walk in I quickly notice that the house is MUCH colder than it should have been, and the furnace is running. Back door is a little "tricky" and you have to ensure it is shut all the way or it pops open. I failed to do so. House=freezing, propane=basically gone; thank God we have a fireplace and a good stock of firewood for especially cold times.

Lesson: always make sure all doors and windows are secure (have gotten better with this with a one year old tearing around the house and trying to escape through any crack he can find), get propane tank filled BEFORE heading into winter (the price I had to pay to get propane almost made me cry, plus I could only get what I could afford at the time which was not much, plus they could not come out for a couple days because of bad weather and being so far away).

It's good to check all your windows and doors after you've had people in the house as well. My mom came over to babysit on a hot day and we returned at night. The next day I went to open a window and it was unlocked. I checked them all and a couple more were unlocked. She must have had the windows open and closed them when it cooled off and never locked them. I've also heard of repair people or painters or your common handyman that unlocks one window in a place you wouldn't usually check and then in a month or so the stop by when no one is home and check to see if the window is still unlocked. If so, then they take the oppertunity to take what they want. So, always check the locks.

[kdalton]

I have two five gallon jerry cans and a regular 5 gallon can from wal-mart with no gas in them because I keep forgetting to take them to the store.

[kdalton]

Wound dressing, non-adhesive, 10 x 20 cm, sterile, by 6 months

How does this expire?

[Krustofski]

How does this expire?

By it's expiry date passing.

No, it's not like it becomes unsterile at 00:01 the day after, but I keep enough medical supplies at hand and could easily have replaced it. I didn't because I didn't check the bag.

[ninja-elbow]

How Ninja-Elbow found out he can pee more than 16 ounces

Camping, Memorial Day weekend 2008. Alone in my tent and it was around 0500 and I had to pee. It was not too cold or anything, around 45 degrees but I had just read here on ZS forums about how to pee in a bottle while in your tent and only halfway getting out of you sleeping bag. I gave it a try as I brought along a bottle for just that purpose, a yellow colored 16 oz small-mouth Nalgene with the words "URINE" on orange tape on it.


I get some of these for free as my law firm gives them out all the time for stuff. Mine was yellow, had orange tape with "URINE" on it and I even put a little cat collar bell on it so I could hear it was the piss bottle in the dark if need be. I had big plans and was going to post about it here, not in the FAIL thread though.

The procedure is simple: You get up in your tent on your knees, wiggle the sleeping bag down to you upper thighs, whoop out the commando and unleash into the bottle. When you are done you screw the cap back on your pee bottle, put away the Commando, squirm back into your sleeping bag, fall back asleep and dream about eating fried chicken (What? ).

I did the above. Little light on in my tent so I could see. I started peeing... and peeing... and peeing... and peeing. 10 ozs... 12 ozs... 15 ozs... (uh ooooohhhhh) 16 ozs!!??! Crap, geetting to the curved part leading to the neck.

Who would've thunk it that you can pee more than a pint? I sure as Hell didn't.

So there I am, in my tent, one hand on 17 plus ounces of warm pee in a 16 oz bottle, the other hand pinching off the Commando, legs still in the sleeping bag and all zipped up inside the tent. I gently put the bottle down on the tent floor cursing Loki. I get the tent door unzipped enough to fit the bottle and my hand to the outside and pour off 1/3rd of the bottle, the whole time the other hand holding back what I got left. How much do I have left you ask? about 3 ounces. That's what made it into the bottle atleast. A little got away from me and onto my REI Quarter Dome floor. It is very water proof BTW.

After ALLL this, I cap the bottle, and try to open up the tent so as to set the bottle outside and end up losing my balance and am half laying in and half out of my tent, sleeping bag around my knees, bottle of piss in my hands and my Commando still hanging out of the opening of my skivvies. I think no one saw this. I can still hear the cat collar bell the while time bing-a-ling-a-ding.

What I learned:
1) You CAN piss more than 17 ounces after sleeping for 6 hours and drinking a lot of fluids beofre going to bed (no booze that night for me, just tea and water).
2) Loki is a bastard of a diety.
3) Carry one of them Shawows or something to clean up your tent floor of liquids.

I just reverted to the barbaric "get up and go pee".

[KYZHunters]

So, today was the day I was bringing four hogs in to get slaughtered. Last night I penned them up and took down their electic fence. At six this morning I backed the trailer up to the barn, slid the gate open on the trailer and opened up the pig pen. I tossed their trough into the trailer and the piggies trot right in. Slide trailer gate shut and pull out onto our road. I walked back to the barn to feed the rest of the critters and when I head back to the truck the trailer gate is hanging wide open and the hogs are gone. I failed to latch the trailer gate and the hogs just pushed it open and headed off to have a big adventure in the woods.
Shit, shit, shit, shit. <-an actual quote.
I headed off to work and spent the day imagining what havoc they were creating, but when I got home all four were snoring away back in their pigpen. The only true fail is that the slaughter house can't take them until Sept. 14...another two weeks of feeding and shit shoveling is what I deserve for being a colossal bonehead.
Carry on.

[Stumpgrinder]

This is a story of epic fail. The ironic tail of a man who prides himself on his ability to be prepared for any emergency, and yet; succumbs to procrastination when given 9 months to prepare for a life changing event. Gentlemen I give you… “Dad’s Hospital Fail”

As of last Thursday I have complied at my residence: 3 months worth of food and water, literature pertaining to all manner of emergency, both local and regional. I have built and maintained 250 square feet of garden, two large compost piles, and a rain harvest irrigation system. I have all manner of fire arms, both sporting and combat, and the ammunition to keep them fed. I also had a wife who was 35 weeks pregnant, and an elaborate plan to build the greatest BOHB (bug out hospital bag) ever devised. My wife would want for nothing; for father of the century would dig into his bag and produce all manner of items to satisfy her gestational needs. Man it will be great! I gotta start that soon! Baby will be here in a few weeks…

So my wife drops me a text saying that her blood pressure is extremely high and that her doctor has admitted her to the hospital. I leave a valuable contract unfinished and bail out of work. I set record time to the hospital. I was so fast, in fact, that the check engine light in my car came on as I wound the shit out of second and third gear weaving through heavy city traffic.
I arrive at the hospital to discover that the doctors have decided to ride the line between mother’s health, and baby’s development. As soon as Mothers body was in real danger they would do a c-section. Go pack your shit and hurry up and wait Dad, baby could be here in the next couple of hours… or days… or weeks.

I get home and realize that my Bug out Bag was better suited for camping out in the hospital parking lot and hunting EMTs than for the birth of my first child. I dump its contents in the middle of the garage and proceed to fill it with all manner of items my wife will find useless. I make arrangements for the dog, chuck my very aggressive looking rucksack and a couple of pillows in the car with about a gallon of gas in the tank and drop the hammer.

My daughter was born 4 days later. My wife, always the trooper, (she has to be to put up with my shit) bounced back in 2 days. We returned back home after living in the hospital for 7 days out of a 4000ci ruck filled with mostly socks and t-shirts.
Lessons Learned:

#1 A fancy plan counts for fuck-all if not executed when needed.
#2 it’s not cool to be the only Dad in the hospital with a Kifaru Navigator, filtration pump, and 3 loaded G19 mags.
#3 I had no idea what love was.

[Sealegs]

So much fail to chose from.

1.
The gift of giving...

Got out of the forces, loaned a relative one of my tents, my unique custom Hilleberg ordered to specification by my unit. You know, I am sure he will appreciate it being the best one there is. Having my never used tent worn all to hell and not returned yet.

Loaning my last snow shovel to my neighbor. Worst storm in centuries strike and neighbor wont return shovel.

Giving away things I really like to people with the assumption that you get what you give.

Lessons:
Keep your unique shit to yourself, nobody will appreciate it as much as you do anyway and IF they do, they wont return it or else be too selfish to give something of equal value. Oh, and reporting someone to the police wont actually get your shovel back. They were all out in the shops. All of them. We even had criminals stealing snow shovels and selling on the black market.

2.
Not settling for less and the second law of redundancy.

Getting the awesomest BOB ever together. Testing a fake bug out in autumn sleet rain and using roughly 30% of the gear and not needing the quality of items at all for the four day duration.

Lesson:
Put cheap generic shit in your BOB. And redundancy is the new mall ninja word.

"Bringing extra everything involves actually carrying extra everything, which is only worth it with Pizza, ammo and water."
-PFC Nilsson [Exemplary as always]

[Chef]

Lesson:
Put cheap generic shit in your BOB.

I don't know about that . . . sounds like you might be setting yourself up for a fatal prep fail by using cheap generic shit in your last-ditch life support system. I know I'd really be cursing myself if I were trying to save my life in a bug-out situation with a semi-functional third-rate piece of kit, knowing that I had a first-rate version of same sitting at home, a first-rate version that for all I might know was at that moment being swept away by a hurricane, or burning to ashes, or being buried in mud, or hauled off by some looter who has no idea of its true value.

If I have to bug out, I'm taking my good gear.