The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Share a survival experience with us and explain what you learned from it. You might help someone.

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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by Vicarious_Lee » Thu Oct 01, 2009 1:01 am

Y.T. wrote:Vicarious_Lee, hysterically entertaining and wacky take on the concept. huge props for the thread. so, I'm not totally clear on the rules here. do I have to post my debt death in smackdown prose form? coz I don't know that I have it in me.

LemmeHitYa, that picture is amazing. I'm shocked at how gorgeous she looks. PM sent.
Whatever you're comfortable with. Don't matter. You wanna post numbers like Gunslinger? That's fine. You wanna be more vague just to let us know that you've done some violent re-deading of teh Debt Zombies recently, SOUND OFF!! The point of this thread is for us to talk about our psycho-ass savaging of the most common, slowest, and most insidious type of zombie that we face. If you've left some Credit Corpses in your wake recently, then by God you come up in here and let out a battle cry! Whatever suits you. This shit is a no-joke CRUSADE! If you've slayed some debt, you're one of us.

Kill 'em all!

(Cris Cyborg is teh sexy in a terribly scary way but I still wanna tuch it) :shock:
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by razi » Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:02 am

Vicarious_Lee wrote: razi: Be patient. If your career trajectory is going to pay off, just sate them enough so they don't eviscerate you. When your shipment of Money Bullets comes in, scream like a banshee and lay waste to those abominations before they even know what hit them! Will expect pics of the burning heaps of shambling corporate bloodsuckers at your feet when this happens.
Oh there will be. If things go how I'm thinking they will, it'll be paid off in 2 to 2-1/2 years.

*crossin fingers*
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by Meat N' Taters » Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:42 am

LemmeHitYa wrote: ...or maybe this?
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:lol: A helluva fighter with a helluva victory face!
War Cyborg!!!!

She reminds me SO much of Wanderlei Silva in her fighting style, but with more athleticism...I guess cause she's a product of Chute Boxe too. She is going to be at the top of her division for some time to come.


It pissed me off when all the mouthbreathers were like "hurrrr...Carano's so hawt, I hope she beats up that ugly Cyborg chick...hurrrr". First of all, Gina Carano is not that hot, she's just a byproduct of reasonable attractiveness and extreme overmarketing. She has vicious cankles. Secondly, her grappling is horrendous, as are her transitions and submission defense. Thirdly, I actually happen to think Cyborg Santos is pretty damn hot. She has a beautiful smile and was so gracious in victory, yet was a complete pitbull in the cage. That's attractive as hell.

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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by ZombieGranny » Thu Oct 01, 2009 11:24 am

The tiny ZombieGranny skitters through the undergrowth nibbling the very roots of the massive debt jungle.
Year after year she nibbles... nibble here, nibble there...

CRASH ! DOWN comes a mighty 20 year old debt!

She nibbles more... Several debts combine to make it easier to nibble their roots... They dwindle from lack of nutrients...

A child comes to the nest to learn the art of debt nibbling.
Now they both skitter across the jungle floor...

LOOK OUT! The child's evil debt vine comes slithering down, it's hold loosened. Falling it hits the tiny child, but giving one final bite the child kills it dead. Exhausted, whiskers twitching, the child collapses into a bed in ZombieGranny's tiny home.
Next the child discovers there will be offspring... Another debt serpent rears it's evil shiny head, Oh no! --- but wait, the girl is still on our medical insurance! Isn't it lucky we didn't retire last fall, and they didn't get married before they found out... The debt serpent slithers off, disappointed but searching for another victim.

ZombieGranny's tiny husband whispers into the ear of a woman at the credit union. The kind woman refinances the their tiny house, lowering the interest payment. Now their tiny payment goes more to principle than interest. Her tiny husband is satisfied.

The floor tries to fall in in their tiny house. The plumber and contractor come, bringing a debt constrictor with them. NO, NO she squeaks. Digging into the food she has cleverly hidden under the roots, she can now use any money found to pay to keep her floor intact. Three months and that debt constrictor has been fed and is lead away...

Now the tiny ZombieGranny nibbles away on the withering debt cards, nibbles at the house debt roots, and plans how to get the tiny children back out of her tiny house and into a tiny home of their own with her tiny grandson-to-be...

Stay tuned for more adventures...
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by EODTech256 » Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:39 pm

I love this thread. Great idea Vicarious_Lee!

So here it goes. I am about to go thermo-nuclear on the undead debt horde. :twisted: Credit cards, truck, student loans all destroyed in a one day epic battle. Once the dust settles all that will remain is a mutant zombie house on the market. And it gets better...Two new zombie slaying weapons will be acquired and money in the bank.

Now you ask how is this great victory possible? $35,000 in a tax free reenlistment bonus payment (that's only half) and a deployment. Thank you Uncle Sam. :D
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by El Bandito » Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:13 pm

The wife and I have taken down a few of the horde so far this year, thanks to renting Grandmas's house at the family rate, we were able to "chop-chop" for the past two years. One debt-zed left and our crosshairs are steadily focused right between it's eyes. One squeeze of the trigger and then we are probably off to Colorado to take on the undead horde that is house debt.
Dodge this!

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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by theclockwork » Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:21 pm

Debt free since 2005, Own my house, own my car, and student loans are done.
Zoë: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.

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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by LemmeHitYa » Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:42 pm

LOLing out of my chair, especially at you, VLee! Great thread, killer humor. :D

You've all got me convinced. See avatar.

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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by Y.T. » Thu Oct 01, 2009 9:04 pm

Vicarious_Lee, thanks for the heads up. ;)

ZombieGranny, that was an awesome tale.

re: my own debt smackdown:

last year sometime the very last of my college loans was paid off.
the numerous loans for both degrees paid for entirely by me. with the exception of one $2000 payment my mom made when she finally realized sometime in my 30s that maybe my parents should have helped with my college education at some point.

last month I made the final payment on my car (0% interest for 5 years through some fluke of luck).
I now officially own it, just have to verify the title has been sent as there was some confusing info. This is the very first new car I've ever owned. In the past I've always bought used.
Down the line I'll be able to designate the extra cash that is now freed up to more useful things: medical care, preps, savings, other debt. Right now I'll need it for rent and food.

I have to check with my (totally crappy and unhelpful) debt consolidation service, but it looks like 2 out of the 3 remaining credit cards have been paid off sometime in the past few months. Leaving only one remaining. I have that bill set on auto-pay and couldn't keep track of the details while in the Jan-July work hell, so it'll require some digging to find out.

Once that remaining cc debit is done there are just a few minor medical bills, then I'm totally debt free.
status update: Y.T. has not been eaten by zombies. She's busy in the analog world.
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by pyratemime » Thu Oct 01, 2009 10:39 pm

My wife informed me today that she finished paying off her 3rd pre-marital bill. She insisted when she got married that she would pay off all her debt and I am proud of how she has handled it all while still contributing to the house financially and with her time. By the end of the year her parts will be gone and we will start heavy into our cars and one credit card.
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by meanstreak » Fri Oct 02, 2009 8:26 am

My wife got laid off a year ago July. Still not working. I have a good job but we were living a bit outside our means. Her money was helpful. I now work full time during the week and bartend on the weekends for extra cash. I could do without the bartending but it's fun and the cash is helpful. Here are the notches for my debt gun:

I have eliminated all credit cards. All of them are gone! I do not ever wish to use a credit card again in my lifetime. They're evil.
I got my house fixed up to be more efficient cutting my electric bill.
I just mailed the final payment on one of my cars. They other one will be paid off in 6 more months.
I paid off a personal loan i had.
All i have left is the one car payment, my house and student loans. All manageable.

It feels great.

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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by RoneKiln » Sat Oct 03, 2009 9:27 pm

Thank you.

I've been working my weekend job as a truck dispatcher and it's been real rough this weekend. Enough so that I was lacking motivation to repost my RV on Craigslist. Reading this gave me the slight push I needed to put it up. Hopefully it sells soon, as it would clear out half of all my debt, and nearly all the debt that has interest tied to it. I've been living in it to keep costs down, and after it sells I will be couch surfing with very good and trustworthy friends. Several of them are doing remodels and I will be trading labor for rent, which will keep me housed till next spring when I finish up my internship and look for a real job.

I'm already tired of my weekend job, but plan to keep it a while after I get a real job. I'm now off to post my RV up in the For Sale section of ZS. It's a huge 5th wheel and would make a great Bug Out Cabin or even primary home for anyone trying to keep costs down (as it has for me the last year).

Thanks again everyone.
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by Vicarious_Lee » Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:49 am

Man, the true debt assassins are sounding off and it is some good music ALL UP IN MY EARHOLE!

ZombieGranny: Wonderful narrative! So that's how lil' hippies deal with debt? It's definitely cuter than violent slaying, but I hope you'll understand if I'm a little nonplussed that a flamethrower wasn't mentioned at some point. :oops: Sorry, it's just the way I roll. :mrgreen:

eodtech256: Shit, I don't know what to say. You're so passionate about slaying debt zombies, that you're gonna go out and slay some baddies so you can get the bucks to come back and slay some MORE debt zombies? That's just righteous warring all around, my man! GET SOME!

El Bandito: Nothing like family to help the motivated slaughter debt! Good luck to you, and once you conjure up your New Home Demon I trust you'll make sure he's small enough to bust up and keep in check with your current arsenal.

theclockwork: It must be nice to have slayed debt so friggin' hard that it doesn't even come around anymore! Stay right, set your perimeter, and kill anything that even thinks about breaching!

Y.T.: You've got a plan. The plan is working. It's working because I can hear the squishing of the re-deaded debt zombies under your feet (even thought they're probably kind of crunchy under that Arizona sun). You've got the ammo coming to kill the rest, and it looks like you've already got your targets lined up. Lock and load!

pyratemime: Your wife is being hardcore and diligent, and she should be commended for unchaining herself from the premarital debt zombies that came along with her as soon as possible. Obviously, the only way to repay her loyalty and badassery involves flowers, steak, and humping. You know what to do.

meanstreak: OUTSTANDING, SOLDIER! Until you posted that pic of the prima donna. All is forgiven, though, because you are among the few, the proud, the debtslayers! SRSLY though, Beckham? Naw, it's all good. Just keep up the assault! (maybe pick an MMA fighter or football player for the next victory pose, though). A sex tape of Posh Spice should capture the moment nicely, IMHO.

RoneKiln: It is a shared honor that this thread could inspire you! You are doing what people your age (I'm assuming it's between 20 and 30) are stereotypically too soft to do. Couch crashing and paying your way through labor is honorable and awesome! You'll have some good life experiences from it, and I'm sure that you'll be one of those people that the Debt Zombie Masters (credit card companies) will be terrified of in the future!

God bless this thread, and God bless kicking the debt zombies' rotting asses!!!!!! RAAAAUUUUUGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by Pastryfish » Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:13 pm

I've dropped almost half of my $4000 in credit card debt over the last six months, courtesy of Uncle Sam and Operation Iraqi Freedom.
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Sun Oct 04, 2009 3:37 pm

I finally killed off some of my debt zombies a few months ago.
I foolishly took out a $100 loan that swelled to over $300 by the end of it's existence.
Now if I could just kill the debt zombies bugging my mother.
That battle still wages on, but soon the debt zombies will fall and all will be good in 12_Gauge_Chimp Land.

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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by theclockwork » Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:27 am

I am not sure how I feel about this, but I am now even on the other side of debt in a adtempt to help freinds not go deeper into debt, I have now started to be the person owed, sum total of anti debt owed to me is 2300 dollars...
Zoë: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
Book: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.

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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by Trebor » Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:24 am

We play Whack a Mole with the debt zombies and hit 'em as soon as they pop up. We buy used cars and only needed a small personal loan for one car years ago that we paid off in 6 months. My student loans were killed a long time ago.

We do have credit cards, but the debt never zombifies as we pay them off in full every month. Actually, this helps us track our spending habits as we put *everything* on the cards and we go through the bills every month line-by-line to look for problems and also see what we are spending our money on. We try to cut back when we notice bad trends (like eating out all the time).

We do have one HUGE zombie we'll be struggling with for the next 25 years or so and that's our mortage. It's just too big to kill all at once so we nibble away buy paying a little extra towards the principal each month and plan to make bigger hits on it when we get extra cash.

Still, just having the one big zombie mortage to deal with isn't that bad. We can deal with that. It's when they form zombie debt hordes that's a problem and we cleared our fields of fire so that just doesn't happen. Every expense that pops up is killed before it zombifies and that makes life much easier.
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by ZombieGranny » Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:38 pm

...
Last edited by ZombieGranny on Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by Vicarious_Lee » Wed Oct 07, 2009 12:10 am

Pastryfish: It's never considered "war profiteering" if you use the money you make in war to go kill zombies. Good luck in waging your own Operation Debt Zombie Overlord! My tax dollars have never been better spent!

12_Gauge_Chimp: It's good that you're helping your mom kill her personal Debt Zombies. I hope she's as hard as the rest of us DebtSlayers. Don't get caught up if she keeps inviting them into her house over and over again and asking you to expend your ammo eradicating them, though. That can turn ugly. Sometimes those folks turn out to be Debt Zombie Sympathizers. I've got some relatives that never met a debt zombie they didn't like. Be careful. There's no helping those folks. Sometimes I think that wanting to get eaten is their own sick fetish that they keep indulging in.

theclockwork: That's just a different kind of Debt Zombie, unfortunately. You've got 2300 dollars of zombie hanging on your table scraps, my man. Don't expect to see that hard-earned zombie chow anytime soon. May be time to get the chainsaw after them.

Trebor: Excellent work! You're a disciplined tactician! Don't worry about the House Zombie. That's just one of those things that even responsible people end up adopting. As long as we don't get something the size of a fucking cave troll and an appetite that consumes every bit of ammo you have and then some (more on this later).

ZombieGranny: I feel for you my hippy comrade! Sometimes those things can pop out of the graves like Romero's kids and start raging like 28 Days Later all in the span of a day. The operative phrase is "and pay them all", though. You're a strong general in this war, even if that means undergrowth nibbling. You've taught your offspring to nibble well.


I have a confession to make:

When I first got out of school, my wife and I had an orgy with the Debt Zombies, because one of the Zombie Masters (Bank Of Zombie America) slathered enough makeup on them to make them look sexy. We took out a home loan with ZERO DOWN (really, how could that be a bad idea?) and bought a house we could barely afford. We were okay for a while, living paycheck-to-paycheck, but maybe we made too much noise. Maybe we weren't being quiet enough. They mostly came at night....mostly. First, it was cars that needed tending to, then a few zombies would break a thing or two in our new Zombie House. The credit cards came out, because we had to borrow ammo, and there was bloodthirsty price gouging involved. Then, somehow, the Licensing and Accreditation Zombies must have heard us nearing the end of our training. They must have smelled us. Someone must have tipped them off!

Oh Dear God! The L&A zombies descended upon us like you'd think some hateful scientist had turned a whole pro football team and bussed them to our location! Our pathetic perimeter was completely overrun by shit that could have only been borne in the womb of some freak genetic cross recombining the worst of capitalism with the worst of governmental regulation! The abomination was unleashed upon us, and we turned to the Zombie Masters (falling into their plan exactly as they had carefully engineered) for more ammo. God, the ammo was getting expensive!

Then, one night, in a fit of passion, the Masters implanted a Parental Recombined Zombie Pregnancy in my wife's womb, and by God They made it costly! Illness Zombies, they all came, and once again the Zombie Credit Cards reveled and feasted on our blood. We did our best, but we were completely overrun and calling in reinforcements, mostly from the Masters. We got a loan from a friend, and it was immediately hosed out onto the endless field of all-consuming zombies. We've yet to repay it back.

But we were strong. We knew our plans were sound. We knew that the reinforcements were on their way. We knew that we were going to get Mil-Spec, high-yield, 6,000-round per minute firepower to lay unbelievable vengeance! If only we could hold out! If only. We thought about decapitating the Zombie House at one point, briefly, and running to the hills and bugging out. It almost got that bad.

But it didn't, and our reinforcements came in. Starting in October, we were dropping JDAMs on their asses and had REAL fire support for the first time! not from the Zombie Masters, but from the righteous fount of Gainful Employment! We turned the tides! It was a fucking financial Normandy!

Image

The House Zombie recently adjusted its ARM, but it has only grown in size by 0.5%. Bitch, please! We can take potshots at that all day and not get tired! Hell, that's just target practice! They died! We killed them! We've got more ammo in stock!

As an aside, we've still got the biggest and ugliest of the L&A zombies bearing down upon us right now, but we've upgraded our weaponry. They'll die soon. And, in the interests of my disclosure of our weaknesses, we've still got the slowest moving, fattest, most ignorant government subsidized Debt Zombies still on us: Student Loans. Better than 6 figures for each of us. Not to worry, we've got those fat stinking corpses chained in our backyards right now. Their size is locked down, their movement is restricted by the Federal Gummunt. They won't be turning into ragers anytime soon, and if they do, well, we'll just have to concentrate all our forward fire on them and unleash a little more Hate downrange. No fucking big deal!

As it stands, all I have to do is go into the backyard and slap those fat motherfuckers upside the head with a shovel to keep them in line. Every now and again I feed them the random possum that wanders into our yard. Hey, the deserve it. Hey, no one's perfect.

We're all doing our best here.
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by 12_Gauge_Chimp » Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:15 pm

My mother was the one who helped me slay my debt zombie, so I figure I owe her one. :D

All in all the Chimp Brigade is gaining control over the debt zombies and soon we will be debt free, it might take awhile but the end will come soon.

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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by Readphnx » Wed Oct 07, 2009 7:02 pm

Me and my wife payed off a $15,000 car loan, re-fied to a 15 year mortgage at 4.75% fixed. We just payed off another $700 on our credit card, I guess that leaves us with $6,500 in car debt, $1,500 in credit card debt, and $71,000 on the mortgage. We are hoping to kill the credit card debt in less than 5 weeks.
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by solidsnake89 » Wed Oct 07, 2009 9:09 pm

bonanacrom wrote:I witnessed the debt war since childhood, saw many go under hoards they could not stand against. My fathers training was harsh and ruthless. My loyalty to freedom could not be swayed and I resisted against the corrupting credit card whores and there promise of gold and platinum. I worked as a true man to achieve what I needed or desired, and did without if I had not the moneys needed. But alas I married one who was not strong and was easily swayed by the whores of credit. She revealed the location of my home and soon it was surrounded by the scarlet hoards of corruption. For this betrayal ( and others ) I cast the fallen woman out and prepared for battle. My strategies where inspiring, my tactics ruthless and I smited these enemies in glorious battle. My home has been free of all evil for a very long time, I have no more enemies as they are all re-dead.
This guy is a bad azz :)
Im No Hero Never Was Never Will Be.

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phoenixmastm
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Posts: 4436
Joined: Tue Dec 05, 2006 2:26 pm
Favorite Zombie Movies: Dawn of the Dead (both versions), Land of the Dead, Undead, 28 weeks later.
Location: Chicago (again...)
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Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by phoenixmastm » Thu Oct 08, 2009 3:50 pm

Although my horde is not as strong as all of yours, it is just as vicious since I don't have (as of yet) a good enough means of fighting it.

However, I've taken steps to ensure that it does not encroach upon me any more than it has, and have been saving up to make a final push to remove the scourge completely!
Up onto the overturned keel
Clamber, with a heart of steel
Cold is the ocean spray
And your death is on it's way
With maidens you've had your way
EACH MUST DIE SOME DAY

- Viking battle chant

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Mr. E. Monkey
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Location: Utah

Re: The Official ZS DEBTSQUAD: BODY COUNT thread.

Post by Mr. E. Monkey » Thu Oct 08, 2009 5:29 pm

The mortgage horde is approaching...we close on the 15th. Wish us luck!
SMoAF wrote:'Tis better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
Beowolf wrote:Disasters are terrifying, but people are stupid.
wee drop o' bush wrote:THE EVIL MONKEY HAS WON THE INTERNETS! :lol: Image
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