You're attacked just feet from your front door

[jamoni]

Assuming some twisted twitch of fate led me to this situation - I would scramble asap to my doghouse in the side yard, front door would not be an option. Arrive at dog house and kick it repeatedly - then charge assailant.

I do not own a dog - I have a doghouse that someone left that is now home to many, many BEES. At some point in the near future I will install a proper hive and hopefully relocate them. Until then I am calling it a "green" security feature and hoping to find a way to stick it to the IRS

I am not bothered by bees, typically ignored when mowing - hopefully captain ass-hat is allergic.

I think you'll fit in well here.

[Tetra Grammaton Cleric]

Assuming some twisted twitch of fate led me to this situation - I would scramble asap to my doghouse in the side yard, front door would not be an option. Arrive at dog house and kick it repeatedly - then charge assailant.

I do not own a dog - I have a doghouse that someone left that is now home to many, many BEES. At some point in the near future I will install a proper hive and hopefully relocate them. Until then I am calling it a "green" security feature and hoping to find a way to stick it to the IRS

I am not bothered by bees, typically ignored when mowing - hopefully captain ass-hat is allergic.

I think you'll fit in well here.

Hells, yes.

Captain Ass-hat: "Or what? You'll Release the Dogs? or the Bees? or the Dogs with Bees in Their Mouths so When They Bark They Shoot Bees at You?"


RELEASE THE BEES!
-

[SRO1911]

Po' folks has po' ways
Or in the words of m very good friend who has passed on... Murphy's second law
If its stupid, but it works - Its not stupid.

[TWhite260]

I would just pull on my american flag MC Hammer pants and give em a little of this...

<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TB7zmbtgCB8?version=3&feature=player_detailpage"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TB7zmbtgCB8?version=3&feature=player_detailpage" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="360"></object>

[squinty]

I would do a little bit of this...

[YouTube]<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/IGuOcrw_ETs?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>[/YouTube]

failure to embed

[TWhite260]

OH POOP!

It's not working

http://youtu.be/TB7zmbtgCB8

[Tetra Grammaton Cleric]

OH POOP!

It's not working

Now it is.

-

[squinty]

Fun, and athletic, but I don't see a lot of martial utility to what those guys are doing. More like tumbling or gymnastics than fighting.
OT: I'll bite the SOB. I'm a biter.

[Tater Raider]

Fun, and athletic, but I don't see a lot of martial utility to what those guys are doing. More like tumbling or gymnastics than fighting.
OT: I'll bite the SOB. I'm a biter.

I'm just bitter.

[HKTackDriver]

I installed Ninjas.

Thank you. Inside the house, my 25 pitbulls have seen the commotion on the inside security monitors and have released themselves as well as my attack hawks (with laser beams on their heads) and they have the BG surrounded. The feast begins. End of WWYD.

[Tetra Grammaton Cleric]

inside the house, my 25 pitbulls have seen the commotion on the inside security monitors and have released themselves

It must cost you a fair bit of cash to keep them equipped in good issue gear. And the dry cleaning bills for their blue shirts and black 5.11 pants must be steep.



-

[HuntingBow96]

Seems brutal but keys in-between fingers and punch

[Viper shtf]

I usually have a Ka-Bar on me, so I suppose I would go all stabby on him/them.

[squinty]

Fun, and athletic, but I don't see a lot of martial utility to what those guys are doing. More like tumbling or gymnastics than fighting.
OT: I'll bite the SOB. I'm a biter.

I'm just bitter.

Have you been bitten?

[Doctorr Fabulous]

Fun, and athletic, but I don't see a lot of martial utility to what those guys are doing. More like tumbling or gymnastics than fighting.
OT: I'll bite the SOB. I'm a biter.

I'm just bitter.

Have you been bitten?

Bite their kneecaps off...

[The Sentinel]

My initial reaction would be to search for and attempt to get him to think about something else in order to make my second and final move ( I would hope since I will have been out of breath by then) either reach down grab a set of balls and squeeze in attempt to make one out of the two (twisting and pulling so as to dislodge wouldnt hurt, ah you at least) or reach up and open palm a strong hit to the nose or drive my thumb into an eye. Once his attention is drawn from attacking me and preserving his own well being, I would then circle around to his back and perform a choke hold while wrapping my legs around his upper chest area to limit breathing. Once he loses consciousness, I will decide to whether get my knife from inside the house (on second thought am going to leave one outside hidden so I dont have to go in at all) to slit his throat as he sleeps peacefully for making me run in the first place.

[squinty]

My initial reaction would be to search for and attempt to get him to think about something else in order to make my second and final move ( I would hope since I will have been out of breath by then) either reach down grab a set of balls and squeeze in attempt to make one out of the two (twisting and pulling so as to dislodge wouldnt hurt, ah you at least) or reach up and open palm a strong hit to the nose or drive my thumb into an eye. Once his attention is drawn from attacking me and preserving his own well being, I would then circle around to his back and perform a choke hold while wrapping my legs around his upper chest area to limit breathing. Once he loses consciousness, I will decide to whether get my knife from inside the house (on second thought am going to leave one outside hidden so I dont have to go in at all) to slit his throat as he sleeps peacefully for making me run in the first place.

Yikes! I know it's a joke thread and all, and we've described a lot of slapstick violence but still...let's not joke about murder anymore.

[CannonDC]

Im gunna play by the rules, Im unarmed and what not, some body attacks me like this I become basically a rabid chipmonk and go nuts on this dude, or dudette.

Tackled from behind with him/her on my back im trying to spin and throat punch asap, while theyre gasping you bet if my hands are free thumbs are goin into the eye sockets, once I have the ability to get out from under this crazed person and standing up, keeping my thumbs in socket and using their body as help up, the next thing theyll know after they feel the sweet release of my massive thumbs from their eyes will be the excruciating pain of the center mass of their face bouncing off my knee as i use my hands to slam their head down giving the additional force to render them unconcious and eventually call the cops after I break a rib or two with a heel drop to the chest.

Side note: if im unable to punch the throat and since theyre obviously facing me Im either aiming for the nuts or the solar plexus, and if on top of me im grabbing the nuts and squeezing as hard as possible, popping if need be. Its unrealistic that someone will be armed with ammo 24/7 365 till the day they die, hand to hand self defense is something great to know

[the_alias]

My initial reaction would be to search for and attempt to get him to think about something else in order to make my second and final move ( I would hope since I will have been out of breath by then) either reach down grab a set of balls and squeeze in attempt to make one out of the two (twisting and pulling so as to dislodge wouldnt hurt, ah you at least) or reach up and open palm a strong hit to the nose or drive my thumb into an eye. Once his attention is drawn from attacking me and preserving his own well being, I would then circle around to his back and perform a choke hold while wrapping my legs around his upper chest area to limit breathing. Once he loses consciousness, I will decide to whether get my knife from inside the house (on second thought am going to leave one outside hidden so I dont have to go in at all) to slit his throat as he sleeps peacefully for making me run in the first place.

Wow 4 pages it took ya'll to start cutting throats.

The Sentinel - read our rules before posting again. Do not talk of cold blooded murder again.

Think this thread is done.