What are your top zombie apocalypse survival strategies?

[BDuncan]

From any greatly admired zombie universe, what are your top seriously and/or creatively
witty zombie apocalypse survival strategy suggestions.

[Chirpy]

Hit a WalMart on my way to the Police Station, then go to a Guard Armory before setting up home base in a Prison.

[nimdabew]

Become king of Wal-Mart.

[Tater Raider]

Die, horrifically if the movies are accurate.

[TheLastOne]

Hit a WalMart on my way to the Police Station, then go to a Guard Armory before setting up home base in a Prison.

Wut?? That was totally my plan. Good thing we are in different towns. I'm also going to count on getting re-supplied by cops and Army men along the way since I carry 9mm and 556. My urban camo everything should enable me to sneak past everyone else too. The walmart is down the street, the cop shop is 5 miles away, and the prison is 20 back in the other direction, so I should totally be able to walk/run/sneak that in a couple of hours with my 80lb Kifaru and 30lbs of battle rattle.

[bae]

Live in a remote community on a small island in the Pacific, well prepared.

[Anianna]

I'm going zombie. Top of the new food chain, yo!

[Crimson Phoenix]

Take the high ground for additional dexterity.

[RickOShea]

I'm going to re-locate up the dirt road a little ways to the old family farm......Where our 300 gallon diesel tank will keep our 18,000 watt generator running for weeks and weeks, and we'll slaughter a few cows and live off of beef jerky, pecans, satsumas and scuppernongs with the occasional "mess-o'-squirrels".

I'll probably just leave all my "assualt rifles" and thousands of rounds of ammo here at my house, and just take my shotguns and bolt-actions up to Grandpaws.

Too bad we took down most of the barbed-wire fences a few years ago......They might would've come in handy.

[Niblick]

I think every one but Rick's post should be in blue text, I'm hoping at least.

My guess is that I'll be the fourth person bitten. I'm sure they would muster my Infantry platoon for crowd control at one of the gates on post. Being active duty is gonna suck in the ZPAW.

[Tater Raider]

Nope, I was quite serious. I have no chance atm.

[12_Gauge_Chimp]

My top plan for the zombie apocalypse ? Run like hell and hope I don't become a human Happy Meal.

[KJ4VOV]

Surround myself with crowds of slow people whom I can easily outdistance, placing them between me and the zombies. Eventually though, I'll be running low on octogenarians and cripples, so I'll go visit Tater and help him achieve his stated goal of dying horrifically, borrow Dusty Rose, then make tracks for the largest concentration of slow old geezers on the planet... Florida. While the industrial sized nursing homes (aka "zombie buffet") slow and distract the undead hordes I'll fit pontoons and an outboard to the jeep (using my newly invented 2" receiver hitch transom plate adapter) and strike out for Haiti, home of the Zombie Master. Once there I'll distract him with a soulful rendition of "The Ballad Of Dusty Rose" and while he gazes raptly at her automotive beauty and tears trickle down his face from the pain of me singing the damn song I'll decapitate and dismember him with a single well placed .22LR birdshot round then take over as the New Zombie Master.

[Crimson Phoenix]

Realistically speaking, as I've got no money and no car, three weeks of food, and all my camping gear at my dorm, I'd pretty much be stuck here likely alone after nearly all of campus has self-evacuated and joined the madness. The dorm itself is pretty safe and I'll likely be fairly secure in my second floor room. I'll do fine for a month to six weeks so long as I like being hungry and dehydrated. Even better if we've got power for the kitchen and the taps still run clean.

[Doctorr Fabulous]

I'll be doing my best Usain Bolt if zombies come, and use my downtime to attempt to master necromancy.

[Charra]

There's really no exact plan, the only thing I can honestly think of is me and my squad getting to the airfield and taking the chopper to rescue a couple other survivors, then I suppose it's back to the airfield to put the survivors into the hangar and close the door so zombies can't get them.

Then continue searching, refuel as needed, after a day of rescuing and searching we'll focus our efforts on food, weapon and ammunition supply, the airbase has it's own well and power supply so water is provided.

There really is no telling what humans will actually do in a situation like that though, all the planning in the world is useless if you don't know the true scenario and major details that may or may not derail everything you have planned.

[Dabster]

If it's an airborne virus, I'm just gonna curl up and wait to turn. I catch everything.

If it's transmitted by bite, it's either gonna be Alaska or Costco, depending on whether or not Costco has eggnog in stock.

Dab

[VinnieD]

Go to yourzombieplan.com and avoid all the places those walking bags of zombie chow will be going. Looting wal-mart? Yes just go to a place that was full of people when the outbreak happened, has multiple large glass doors, and is now full of zombies. Avoid populated areas. People in large groups=zombies in large groups.

Loot a gun store? Yes because if the gun store owner isn't there with his guns, surely there will be something left when everyone else had the same idea. If you don't own or work at a gun store, don't go to a gun store.

Steal a hummer, go pick up all your friends, and head for the arctic? Surely because that hummer has the mileage to make it that far, when no pumps work, and can manuever through stalled and halted traffic, and you must certainly happen to have extreme wilderness survival skills. Travel light, pick a practical BoV, have a BoL in mind, know what is where you're going.

Steal a boat and head for an island. And how do you plan to operate that boat with no maritime or navigation experience? Not to mention, boat OWNERS probably took their boats out to open water already, and anyone else with mariner experience likely took any remaining watercraft long before you'll ever reach the marina.

Become a zombie slaying badass. If the outbreak is still small enough to be contained by sweeping and exterminating, leave it to the military and police, unless you legitimately have firearms and survival skills to volunteer, then ask to be deputized and do it as part of an organized team. Otherwise get out of the way.

My strategy? Be prepared in the first place. I live in a rural area where bugging in will be practical for a small outbreak assuming it at least starts in urban areas. The population is sparse enough that bugging in would be reasonable. Bugging out would involve going not too very far to reach even more isolated areas. Being surrounded by rivers and creeks makes zombie incursions from the city difficult. I keep some food on hand, and for the long term garden and hunt to produce my own food. I'm working on stockpiling enough ammunition to defend my home from occasional incursion, and organizing the few neighbors (also armed) in the area to keep a watch out for roamers would be fairly simple. It helps that I'm kind of a pudgy fellow. For long distance travel, not so great, but for concerving resources and fortifying, it means I can stretch my food supply further by eating less than the bare minimum calorie intake each day and make up the remains from my erm...on board reserves. Or if I need to bug out, I have an on board energy supply to stave of starvation a good bit longer as long as water is available.

Short term I'd stay put. Long term, head for areas of even sparser population. Less people means less zombies. You probably don't even need to find a total wilderness. Any place where bullets outnumber zombies should be enough to turn the tide in human favor. That is assuming zombie groups lurk rather than hunt. If zombies actively hunt in large hoards for human populations, then it genuinely be worthwhile to find a place where zombies legitimately couldn't survive. That leaves islands (impractical as stated earlier without marine experience), Steep mountains (Useful as long as you can climb and zombies can't, and you can sustain yourself there), cold climates (assuming you can get there, and survive), or a fortified position such as a military base, or prison, but that's assuming the existing occupants are welcoming. If zombies can't get in, you're probably not going to be able to either.

[frogdude]

I'll lie down on the ground and hope zombies use the "3 second rule".

[azrael99]

become fast food

[foxx]

I live in a rural area, 5 miles away from a small town. Police and the Army will probably never be out here. I'll be the Zombie slayer when need be. I train with the weapons I have, I do have guns, but they are loud. I'll take on a few at a time with other weapons, saving the ammo, and the noise. Board up the place, and sit tight. Leave some slits to spear the window peeping Zombies. Hopefully, that's the only slaying I'll have to do, I can hide and be quite till they pass, if the dogs don't start barking.
Hand pump water from the cistern, collect rain water, we have food for a little while, and a septic system for waste. The whole house is electric, that's a problem when the grid goes down. There is a fireplace, if the smoke doesn't attract attention. Long term, we'll need to be gardening, get some chickens, live off the 5 acres. And get a windmill, solar panels, or go elsewhere.
It's hard to plan everything out without knowing the details of what to plan for.

[Cadillac]

My group of friends and I already have a decent plan in place. When it happens, we plan on setting up shop at a prison nearby. Now obviously, we won't be the only ones doing this, but here is the rationale we have: 1) Our jump bags have seeds in them. 2) A prison will be well protected (between fortification and weapons). 3) We live in a rural area, with lots of livestock nearby, 4) The prison has a yard for planting the seeds from 1.

We even go as far as to have planned out which of friends will be what (Snipers, Scouts, Breeders, Intel, etc.) Now of course, the best laid plans always go to hell, so I also plan on backup of going to the middle of nowhere with the wife and living out the rest of my life there. I assume the middle of nowhere (especially mountainous areas) will have few zombies if any.

[Alpha-17]

My guess is that I'll be the fourth person bitten. I'm sure they would muster my Infantry platoon for crowd control at one of the gates on post. Being active duty is gonna suck in the ZPAW.

Yeah, tell me about it. Not only am I a thousand miles from home, but since I'm at the bottom of the food chain in the Army, I'll probably become the bottom of the food chain in the Zompocalypse.

[Blitzen2k5]

Try to reason with them. In all the media its always kill a zombie the first time you see it. No one ever tries to talk to them. For all we know they are just trying to find directions to the nearest Denny's. How would you feel if someone busted you in the ass when you asked for directions?

If that dont work then I would climb to the roof of my house and try to evolve wings. Either they get up there and get me or I am flying away.

Blitz